5 ways to escape the make-up/break-up cycle


Georgia Lee

Stuck in that vicious cycle with an ex? Here are 5 ways to help you get out and move on for good.

Completely letting go of an ex can be hard. But drawing out the end of your relationship and continuing the separation-reconciliation cycle isn’t healthy. But it’s a pattern that is easy to get stuck in.

If you need help ending the make-up/break-up cycle, here are 5 ways to help you escape:

1. Remind yourself of the bad times

Your ex may try to talk you into getting back together by reminding you of the good times. Your shared history can have a special hold on you, and your ex knows this. Don’t let them lull you into a false sense of security by reminiscing about the good old days. That feeling of familiarity will only keep the cycle going. You may have had positive experiences together, but you broke up for a reason.

2. Date other people

Sometimes the best way to shift your focus away from an ex is to move on to someone else. However, it may not be a great idea to settle down soon after a breakup. Rebound relationships move fast and rarely work. It can help to date a few people casually. Scope out folks who aren’t looking for anything serious right away. Just have fun. Once enough time has gone by, you can get back into serious dating and look for a new partner — when you’re ready.

3. Take a break from dating

To get out of a cycle you need to disrupt it. If you aren’t ready to get out there and mingle just yet, you may need to go through a period where you don’t date at all. Taking a hiatus from dating altogether does the trick for some. You can use the time to get to know yourself better and re-evaluate what you want and need in your next relationship. You can also comb through what went wrong in your previous romance to try to understand and prevent a similar fate in the future.

4. Ask friends for support

Staying away from your ex is easier when you have friends guarding you from bad decisions. A weak moment can be foiled by a phone call or check-up visit from good friends who know all the dirt and want to keep you safe. Tell them when you want to go back, and they’ll snap you back into reality and keep you on track to break away and stay single.

5. Grieve your relationship

Sometimes you get sucked back into a bad romance because you never fully let go when it ended. If you take the time to truly mourn the loss of your relationship, you won’t feel the need to return to it. The thought of continuing the relationship will bring discomfort, instead of desire.

Staying out of a make-up/break-up cycle takes work. And sometimes it’s easier to give into what isn’t right for you instead of work on finding what is. But you both deserve someone who is the right fit for each of you.


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