11 Things You Need To Feel Secure In A Relationship

11 THINGS YOU NEED TO FEEL SECURE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Do you feel secure in your relationship? If your answer is yes, there’s nothing like it, but if you are struggling to find an answer, you’ve come to the right place. We often fall in love because we are attracted to someone, but a long-term relationship needs to survive the very real demands of living together. Hence, it’s important to know what things you need to feel secure about in a relationship and that’s exactly where we come in. Read on and find out.

1. Don’t Compare Your Partner To Your Ex

11 Things You Need To Feel Secure In A Relationship

Remember what happened when Ross compared Rachel with the woman he slept with? They broke up and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t compare your partner with any of your exes. Different people have different approaches towards life and comparing them is just not fair.

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One Daily Reminder That Will Calm The Chaos In Your Life

ONE DAILY REMINDER THAT WILL CALM THE CHAOS IN YOUR LIFE

Angel Chernoff

Life can be hectic; sometimes chaos surrounds us in every imaginable direction.

But just because the world around us is in disarray, doesn’t mean the world within us has to be too.

That’s right, I’m saying there’s a way to stay sane in insane times. I’m saying you can get rid of all the insanity inside you created by others, the past, and uncontrollable events…

Just by being a simple witness of your thoughts.

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Parenting: an unhappy mother shares her sorrow

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PARENTING: AN UNHAPPY MOTHER SHARES HER SORROW

I got married at the age of 24 to my husband who was a medical practitioner just like me. We both focused on our careers. We were both successful in all we did except in the parenting of our own flesh and blood.

We had two children. Kunle was the first and Tola the second. Kunle was a very inquisitive boy and asked questions on everything. He was even nicknamed The Examiner. His father and I got so tired of his constant questions that we started locking up the door to our bedroom once we came back from work. How I wish I knew better! How I wish I read those posts of yours then!

By the time Kunle was four years old he was much more intelligent than his colleagues, and he was so lively too. You would never have a dull moment with him. He loved his sister so much and we were always proud of him. His father and I were so sure Kunle was also going to become a medical doctor just as we were.

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We are killing our children and calling it love!

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WE ARE KILLING OUR CHILDREN AND CALLING IT LOVE!

When I was growing up, one of the worst insults that could be hurled at a child (or his parents) was that he was a spoiled brat. It was a remark that wasn’t used very often, but when it was, it stung. No one wanted to hear the perception that a child was spoiled.

Now, we hardly hear the remark or observation, but maybe it’s because so many children are spoiled. Has the use of the stinging remark decreased as the problem increased?

Out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of “spoil.” It means “to harm the character of a child by being too lenient or indulgent.”

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The 3 Phases of Love

THE 3 PHASES OF LOVE

John Gottman

What do you do if you love your partner, but you are no longer in love with your partner? Does the feeling of love transform or change over time?

In my book Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, I explain the three natural phases of love. While being in love is a very complex experience, my research has identified choice points when love may either progress to a deeper place, or deteriorate.

Phase 1: Falling in Love – Limerence

In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” for the first stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection.

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24 Signs of a Highly Sensitive Person

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24 SIGNS OF A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON

Preston Ni

Highly sensitive people often “feel too much” and “feel too deep”.

Are you a highly sensitive person? Do you know someone in your personal or professional life who may be highly sensitive? High sensitivity can be defined as acute physical, mental, and emotional responses to external (social, environmental) or internal (intra-personal) stimuli. A highly sensitive person may be an introvert, an extrovert, or a combination of both.

Although there are many positive attributes to being a sensitive person (such as greater ability to listen and affirm, greater empathy and intuitiveness, better understanding of others’ wants and needs, etc.), in this writing we will focus on aspects of high sensitivity which adversely affect one’s healthhappiness and success, and often complicate relationships. Below are twenty-four signs of a highly sensitive person, with excerpts from my books: “Are You Highly Sensitive? How to Gain Immunity, Peace, and Self-Mastery(link is external)” and “How to Communicate Effectively with Highly Sensitive People(link is external)” These traits are organized into three major categories: Sensitivity About Oneself, Sensitivity About Others, and Sensitivity About One’s Environment.

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What Children Overhear Matters Now More Than Ever

illustration of a child taking in what their parents are speaking

WHAT CHILDREN OVERHEAR MATTERS NOW MORE THAN EVER

Mark Oliver

“Kill Mexico” The words were scratched onto the desk of a ten-year-old boy. He’d been born in America, but his parents were immigrants, and the meaning was clear. His classmate wanted him to know that he was no longer welcome.

His teacher found the message when she sent the kids out for recess. He stayed at his desk, looking at down, fighting back tears.

The teacher is a friend of our family. When she shared this experience we were in shock. How does this happen? How do ten-year-olds get so filled with hate that they pass racist death threats to their classmates?

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Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps

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HELP YOUR PARTNER UNDERSTAND YOUR SIDE OF THE CONFLICT IN 3 STEPS

Kyle Benson

Conflict isn’t easy: There’s hurt. There’s misunderstanding. And, at the same time, there are parts of us that are screaming to feel validated and understood. The problem for many of us is we have learned to communicate in a way that actually pushes our partners away from truly understanding us or meeting our needs. It’s common to see criticism or contempt in a relationship where partners feel disconnected and misunderstood.

Ultimately, conflict is created by a lack of attunement. This is because one of our deepest needs is for others to understand, or attune to, us. This desire to be “seen” starts when we are young. Take kids, for example: when they play hide-and-seek, they love to be found.

As adults, we crave to be seen in our rawness. To courageously allow another into our inner emotional world. This is why Brene Brownlinks vulnerability with wholehearted living because vulnerability allows us to be truly known by another. She also refers to vulnerability as the glue that holds relationships together.

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9 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Angry

9 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Angry

9 MINDFUL WAYS TO REMAIN CALM WHEN OTHERS ARE ANGRY

Angel Chernoff

When someone upsets us, this is often because they aren’t behaving according to our fantasy of how they “should” behave.  The frustration, then, stems not from their behavior but from how their behavior differs from our fantasy.  Let’s not get carried away.  Calmness is a superpower.

Over the past decade, there’s a way of being I’ve gradually been cultivating in myself—I’ve been taming my tendency to get angry and argue with people when their behavior doesn’t match my expectations.

As human beings, we all have an idea in our heads about how things are supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes our relationships up the most.  We all get frustrated when things don’t play out the way we expect them to, and people don’t behave like they’re “supposed” to.  We expect our spouses and children to act a certain way, our friends to be kind and agreeable, strangers to be less difficult, and so on and so forth.

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5 ways to let the grandparent enjoy time with the kids

5 WAYS TO LET THE GRANDPARENT ENJOY TIME WITH THE KIDS

Christa Cutler

Everyone can benefit from a little more love in their life.

We all want to grow up and make different choices than our parents. We are going to have different lifestyles, different traditions and sometimes even different beliefs. But there is great importance for your children to connect with their ancestors.

The best way for them to bridge the gap between themselves and their ancestors is through their grandparents. Spending time with grandparents is one of the best things for children to do. Not only do they get to learn more about the past history and ancestors, they also get to connect with someone who is different than they are.

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