OUR SEX LIFE IS AMAZING BUT OUR MARRIAGE SUCKS
He woke up horny. He started touching his wife on her breasts.
He flipped her over. Got on top of her. He started kissing her, but she seemed not interested. He turned his game up, kissed her on her neck as he spread her legs. She looked away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Us,” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
11 BIG SIGNS OF A WEAK MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT MAY SURPRISE YOU
When we date, we always look for a strong man, but most of us don’t even know the signs of a weak man in a relationship, and why it actually matters.
Sadly, many women don’t know the signs of a weak man in a relationship. Now, this weakness I’m talking about is what makes a relationship one-sided. A weak man isn’t one who cries. In fact, he’s actually a strong man if he’s able to cry freely and express his emotions.
A truly weak man is someone that you carry through life. Rather than an equal relationship, you do all the dirty work while he’s just along for the ride. Though it may bring out your nurturing side, you’ll soon tire of it, trust me. Don’t stick around until he wears you down.
R IS FOR REPAIR
Repair is easily my favorite concept in the entire Gottman encyclopedia. Typically, we think of repair in terms of what we have to do to a car or a washing machine or a botched haircut. As in, it’s broken, it needs repair. But in relational terms, repair is less about fixing what is broken and more about getting back on track.
What is a repair attempt?
Masters of relationships repair early and often. And they have lots of strategies for how to repair. Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.” The reason I love the concept so much is because of that word “any.” It leaves a ton of room for creativity. And because every relationship is different, finding the repair strategies that work for you can actually be a unique game that belongs to just the two of you.
A IS FOR ARGUMENTS
Just for kicks, I decided to ask Google for help finding marriage and relationship words that started with “A.” I got a lot of help with my Scrabble game, but not too much else. I did find one site dedicated to “marriage vocabulary.” The list of “A” words included: Acceptance, Admiration, Affection, Affinity, Allegiance, Appreciation, Approval, and Attentive.
All of those words are relevant and essential to healthy relationship. They’re good words. And I think that you should accept and admire and all those other things with your partner, but I also think you should argue. Maybe it’s just me, but I think if you’re not arguing, you’re probably not committed.
When engaged couples come into my office for pre-marital counseling, one of my first questions is, “Could you tell me about when/how/why you argue?”
P IS FOR PROBLEMS
John Gottman’s research revealed that about ⅔ of relationship problems are unsolvable. One of my favorite questions for couples is whether that statistic is discouraging or encouraging. Think about that for a second. Does the idea that 69% of your issues are not going away bum you out? Or does it give you hope?
Most couples I know are frustrated by the fact that most of their problems are unsolvable. It’s hard to have the same battles over and over again. My personal bias, however, is that I’m glad to know that we’re normal. My wife and I spent way too much time arguing over the fact that we were having the same fight that we ultimately forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.
Dr. Gottman has said that the number one thing that couples fight about is nothing. I can vouch for this. This past weekend, my wife and I got into an argument over fruit flies. It was really stupid. Later, when our older daughter (age 11) was explaining the argument to her sister (age 7), she said, “It’s never about the fruit flies.” Indeed. What’s it about then?
THE REAL COST OF DIVORCE
Marriage can be difficult. Sometimes you may feel like you’re at your wits end and the relationship can’t be saved.
But are you aware of the real costs of getting divorce. It’s far beyond just money.
Check out the infographic we put together below about different stats related to divorce in Canada and the United States. If you’d like to share on your blog/website, copy the embed code near the bottom of this page.
You’ll notice from the stats and figures presented below that it’s important partners experiencing a rough patch – no matter how tough it may seem – at least try marriage and couples counselling. It can save a lot. And it’s highly effective.
8 POSITIVE WAYS TO DEAL WITH REJECTION IN ANY SCENARIO
No one wants to face rejection, but we must learn to handle it. Whether it’s from your job, your partner, or someone else, here’s how to get by.
Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. You start off by working your butt off to achieve something, whether it’s a date with someone, a job, or a promotion. Then, for some reason, you get turned down. Sometimes the way you get turned down is downright harsh and ego-shattering, but there are also times when you’re given a little encouragement to try again, or work just a little bit harder.
How to handle being rejected
In the end, you still need to be able to move on from getting rejected. Yes, we know it’s easier said than done. But to help you through this tough time, we’ve got some tips for how you can deal with rejection.
11 TIPS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AND BE A BETTER YOU
Do you ever feel like you’re not happy being who you are? At times, feeling lonely and all alone may be a reflection of how you feel on the inside. Find out how to love yourself, have better relationships and a better life.
In life, there are times when we feel like a failure.
But that’s no reason to hate yourself or think you’re no good.
Understanding how to love yourself can help you cope with failure and rebuild your confidence, and enjoy a better life.
There may be many reasons behind why you don’t love yourself, all the way from being overweight to not getting attention from others to repeated failures.