5 SECRETS ABOUT SEX YOUR WIFE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU
Men and women think differently about sex. Here are five sex secrets your wife may not tell you.
Sex secret #1 – Help without being asked
Husbands, you need to understand something: getting in the mood starts outside the bedroom. It can often begin at the kitchen sink when you say you’re going to do the dishes tonight. It can occur when you remember to take out the garbage before she has to nag you to do it. Nothing is more sexy to an exhausted new mother than watching her thoughtful husband change the diapers. It’s one of the least known mysteries about women.
12 THINGS HAPPY PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY
“I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright and would be automatically bestowed upon me as time passed. I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live – that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life.”
Studies conducted by positivity psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky point to 12 things happy people do differently to increase their levels of happiness. These are things that we can start doing today to feel the effects of more happiness in our lives. (Check out her book The How of Happiness.)
I want to honor and discuss each of these 12 points, because no matter what part of life’s path we’re currently traveling on, these ‘happiness habits’ will always be applicable.
5 GREAT REMINDERS THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK
“This morning, nearly five years after my husband’s passing, a beautiful couple and their three kids knocked on my front door. The man smiled and said, “Your husband was my heart donor. He saved my life. Not a single day has gone by that I don’t pray for him and think of you. Thank you!”
This is the opening paragraph right out of an email I recently received from a course student named Colleen (I’m sharing this with her permission). She goes on to admit that she couldn’t see any positive sides of her husband’s death, until she was staring at them on her door step. “It doesn’t necessarily make things easier, but it certainly changed the way I think. I feel like a small piece of my broken heart has healed.”
And the truth is, it happens just like that. Although Colleen’s experience is unique, and somewhat extreme, at some point life slaps all of us with a good reminder that shifts our perspective. Personally, I have been slapped with several of these reminders over the years. And today, I want to pass a few of them along to you…
8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US
Our intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love.
Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warm inside. But as all of us know, this happens only part of the time. The other part is full of anxiety, confusion, and frustration.
Having problems in our relationships are inevitable. Even our soulmates cause issues sometimes. According to John Gottman, couples disagree on unsolvable never-ending issues 69% of the time.
15 INSANELY NICE THINGS TO SAY
Lifting another’s spirits with a genuine compliment makes you feel pretty great, too. You never know how your kind words will affect those around you.
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
A knee-melting compliment, delivered directly and sincerely, can be life altering. We never know how profoundly our kind words affect the recipient – from a store clerk to our own kids.
In the spirit of Mark Twain, here are 15 really nice gems to throw someone’s way.
HOW A PARENT’S AFFECTION SHAPES A CHILD’S HAPPINESS FOR LIFE
How often do you hug your children?
We all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents, but it is clear that one of the most important things we need to do is to stop and give our kids a big loving squeeze. Research over the past decade highlights the link between affection in childhood and health and happiness in the future.
According to Child Trends – the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families – science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children.
Higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavior problems have been linked to this type of affection. On the other hand, children who do not have affectionate parents tend to have lower self esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and anti-social.
MAKING YOUR LIST, CHECKING…WHO IS HOT OR NOT
When you are walking around a Christmas holiday party or swiping faces on your phone, you probably have some idea of the type of person you find attractive.
As you swipe away, you are seeking certain traits – physical, mental, social – you desire. Other traits, you say “fuck no.” Maybe you have a list of these traits, or maybe you just know it when you see it.
Either way, you have evolved to desire specific traits. The melting pot of your childhood, teenage, and adult experiences have sculpted and resculpted which traits you find attractive and which ones you find repulsive.
THE 6 FACTORS THAT DETERMINE WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH
During one of my bro moments, a buddy and I were checking out a bachelorette party and choosing who the sexiest woman was in the room. At first we agreed on basic body types and symmetries. We both liked fit, tall women, but soon we started disagreeing. I liked the Latina girl with almond-shaped eyes, a longer face and proportioned boobs and butt. My friend couldn’t stand longer faces. He was attracted to the blond with a round face, massive boobs and no butt.
These conversations happen all over the world in all types of languages, regarding all types of genders. Some girls go for guys dressed in leather, while others go for Mr. Business Suit. Some guys like dangerous girls who are adventurous, and uninhibited, while another guy likes them reliable, soft-spoken, and boring. Eventually everyone agrees to disagree on who is hot or not.
But why on earth would we have a difference of opinion? Isn’t the ultimate driver reproduction? If that’s the case we would fall in love with potential sex partners of the opposite sex with good genetic fabric, health, wealth, high social status and potentially strong parental qualities.
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND MAKE ROOM FOR HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE
Feeling weighed down by your past mistakes? Learn to forgive yourself and put down the burden of shame and blame. Forgive yourself and create space in your life for joy.
Imagine that everything you have ever done wrong is a rock. For example you have a nice, round one-pound smooth rock and you see written on it, “Told a lie.” You also have a rock that is labeled, “Didn’t report income to the government,” or “Yelled at kids.” Now take all of your imaginary rocks and put them in your pockets and hold them while you read this article.
We are often harder on ourselves than anybody else. When someone compliments us, we can’t take it in. We feel unworthy of love and sometimes punish ourselves internally. If we had an actual rock for each mistake, sin or misdeed we felt responsible for, we could build a large rock wall and fence ourselves in, shamed and hidden from the world.
5 TIPS ON OFFERING ADVICE TO ADULT CHILDREN
As you and your children age, your role as a parent changes. Here are some tips and tricks on continuing to parent your grown children.
Parenting adult children can seem like an oxymoron, times two! “Adult children” occupy an amorphous space in your mind, and perhaps in the dictionary. How can you be both a child and an adult? Parenting an adult just sounds mutually exclusive. After all, adults don’t need parenting, right? Once you reach the age of 18, of course you know everything there is to know about life, love and happiness. Perhaps according to the law once the age of emancipation is reached, adults are responsible for their own lives, and counted and entrusted as individuals. But in families, this rarely happens through any passage of time.
As a parent or grandparent, you may feel compelled to share your knowledge, wisdom and life experiences with your adult children, but take care in sharing. The message may be enlightening, amazing or even inspiring. But frustrated recipients often shoot the messenger!