By YOUR MISTAKE???
By Uri Ngozichukwuka
Do we live long enough to realize our mistakes? Or do we actually live true enough to realize our mistakes? What’s a mistake? It could be defined as “an act or judgment that is wrong.”
In other words, mistakes cover the whole spectrum of our existence. Our decisions or indecisions, acts or inactions, all run through a plethora of daily activities and interactions that make up our whole existence – from kindergarten to our senior years and other phases in-between.
We can make mistakes in our choice of school, careers, partners, association, and choice of response – even to the ones we consider mundane such as choice of dress, jewelry, shoes, etc.
We are daily faced with decisions and choices. Sometimes we do make perfect choices. Other times we make the wrong ones. All are often based on information available that galvanizes our engagement. Our decisions can also be based on our perceptions.
Along our path in life, we certainly have a not-so-pretty basket of mistakes. Some are avoidable while others are inevitable. Sometimes we realize our mistakes, and other times we don’t and keep making them as we traverse the earth.
Some mistakes have been our greatest undoing while some have led to very defining moments in our lives.
It’s not possible to live a mistake-free life or a curated life devoid of mishaps and monumental blunders – from inappropriate actions to words unfitly spoken that can’t be taken back.
In more recent times from Africa to the West, it’s been a harvest of public slaps. While debates are heated in so many quarters whether the misdemeanor is a result of breeding or cultivation, control and social intelligence should have played a role in the outcomes of both incidents. From avoidable slaps to avoidable jokes, the clear fact remains that man is fallible. The slaps happened yesterday and today is a new day. Both the slapped and the slapper have surely had enough time to think about what they would have done differently.
Intermittent introspection helps us once in a while. Introspection doesn’t come easy and not too many engage in such emotional heavy lifting as introspection. Given that self-appraisal is not particularly a complimentary exercise, introspection helps us to be more guarded and guided.
So here I am sitting with my dressmaker Yomi to finish my regular shirt dress and in the madness of it all as is the case with most low-income business places. The generators are practically trying to outdo each other in both noise pollution and dangerous emissions.
My mind begins to wander. I sauntered into Facebook and saw the OMG character-analysis cum fortune-telling app. I had indulged in this app before now and was quite taken by its accuracy. I was convinced it was witchcraft and so I kept severely away from it. Now that I am taking courses in data analytics, I am better informed.
So the game on the app was “What is your mistake?” I was taken aback because I had just run through my lifelong mistakes in my mind and assistant mistakes plus their associated outcomes. But this particular mistake takes the cake and it took me a while to realize that it was a mistake. It’s embedded in my personality so much so that I may not particularly stop making it. It’s actually an innocent state of my being and only becomes a mistake when certain parties with certain proclivities react negatively to it.
Anyway, I clicked on this guru “witchcraft” app to tell me my mistake and for the first time, it failed woefully. It told me, “Uri, your number one mistake is not realizing how incredible you are and what an amazing person you are.” I laughed out loud. It was like gotcha. Guru app, you are so wrong. Felt like watching a movie on YouTube and the interpretation app is on. Gosh, I get distracted by the silly algorithm that just can’t interpret properly. Sometimes I laugh, other times I just try not to look at the words on the screen, especially when they interject with vernacular and the bloody app goes gibberish on the screen.
Anyway, back to the Mistake story. The coincidence of the app and my thoughts was what got my attention, though it failed woefully.
I had always known my biggest mistake especially as I got older. It was certainly not about realizing how wonderful I am made by God. In fact, it’s the opposite. I knew how incredible I was from age 3. I never second-guessed myself.
Confidence is my gift and my biggest mistake was thinking and believing everyone was as confident as I was. I thought everyone felt great about themselves and everyone was not afraid to laugh at themselves. I didn’t understand the depth of the insecurities that folks lived with. So I got burned by plenty and I burned not a few too. My confidence was further bolstered by my parents being president and vice president of my fan club during my formative years.
At a point, I almost started apologizing for being too confident. I realized my confidence got admiration from some quarters and got resentment from more. Of course, resentment would always be more! What was I thinking? However, I learned also how to handle the resentful by not giving away an inch of my confidence.
Very early I understood that perfection does not breed confidence. It compliments innate confidence. Perfection is a process. It’s also a destination. Mistakes are allowed.
How does it sound to you reading this that I am not about to stop making my mistake? How do you stop being you? This is where someone would readily say emotional intelligence would be just great to apply here. Maybe I need a coach.
Amaka Beverley Agbakoba, I am quoting you here: “Most life coaches I see today are people that are actually a whole piece of work who need so much personal work and are giving out what they don’t have but have learned to teach and not apply.” My response to this I guess is I believe that’s a self-rescue path for most. So let them rescue others in the process and smile to the bank.
Back to this life mistake conversation. Would you really do some introspection and live true to yourself and locate your mistake? Would you take responsibility for them and not make them again? Or just live with it if it’s embedded in your nature? Some people actually have asked me if it’s possible I constantly have a party going on in my head. To which I have always answered as honestly as I can.
The first answer is simply genetics. My father was always a happy-go-lucky man and appreciated everyone and every little favor done to him. The second is the SPIRIT. THE JOY OF THE LORD IS THE KOKO. What an intoxicating mix. Nature and Spirit.
Now to the meat of the matter. The fundamental truth to take away from this article is that the Universe is configured to give you as many chances as possible. There’s always an opportunity to make amends. To get your act together. To make a comeback. To change the course of your life. The universe is waiting and rooting for you to quit beating up on yourself over a mistake and see the sea of opportunities ahead of you. Angels waiting at your command. His Blood is ready to wash. His Mercy is ready to resupply His unending blessings.
Each new day is loaded with benefits. Mistakes are yesterday and, yes, plus the mistakes you will make tomorrow. All mistakes are yesterday if you look through the prism of His WORD.
