YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF
The Marriage & Family Clinic
And believe it or not, you can control your thoughts. It takes practice, but you can learn to take them captive.
Trying to control your partner will only lead you down a path of frustration. Realizing you can’t control them will save you time and energy.
Instead, when you realize you are trying to control your partner, turn to controlling the things that you can, which are YOUR thoughts and actions.
If you waste a lot of time worrying about things you can’t control, please try these six things to help:
1. Determine what you can control
Recognize that sometimes, all you can control is your effort and your attitude.
2. Focus on your influence
To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself.
3. Identify your fears
Ask yourself what you are afraid will happen. Are you predicting a catastrophic outcome? Do you doubt your ability to cope with disappointment?
4. Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving
Ask yourself whether your thinking is productive. Do you keep rehashing it in your head or are you actively looking for a way to solve it?
5. Create a plan to manage your stress
Find healthy stress relievers, like meditation, spending time with friends or engaging in a hobby.
6. Develop healthy affirmations Develop a few healthy mantras that will keep you mentally strong. Those sayings will help you combat self-doubt, catastrophic predictions, and endless rumination.