Jimmy Evans

Healthy marriages are made from healthy individuals. When a husband and wife are emotionally healthy, they relate properly to each other. They communicate better. Their marriage becomes deeper and stronger. I believe there are seven essential elements of emotional healing and health.

DEPEND ON THE HOLY SPIRIT DAILY FOR EMOTIONAL GRACE AND EMPOWERMENT. The Holy Spirit is a gift, and on our worst days His personality is available to us for free. When we’re hurting, only the Holy Spirit can dig us out of that pit. Relying on our own resources only digs the hole deeper.

Wake up every day and say, “Lord, I need your love, joy, and peace in my life.”

UNDERSTAND, EXPOSE, AND RESIST THE DEVIL’S ACCESS TO UNHEALTHY EMOTIONS. In Ephesians 4, Paul says going to bed angry gives the devil access to that emotion. In the Garden, Adam and Eve gave Satan access to their fear.

The devil has access to our negative, fallen emotions. He sends us a message in our pain, and that message is always a lie. He twists emotions so that we can no longer trust them.

SUBJUGATE YOUR EMOTIONS TO YOUR WILL. A life in which you let your emotions guide you will be very painful—and will result in a painful marriage. Instead, take charge of your emotions.

What does this mean? If you find yourself sulking, then tell yourself to stop. Say “Grow up. You’re not going to do that.” Listen to your will and not your emotions and you’ll find emotional healing.

TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS CAPTIVE. Do not let your thoughts tell you what reality is. Only the Word of God can do this. The Bible helps you identify the lies Satan tells you through your emotions. It helps you identify the truth.

Emotional health means reading and confessing the Word of God. You have to believe what it says about you, about your circumstances, and about your life.

RELEASE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. When we have negative emotions or memories inside us, we have to let go of them each day.

These emotions include guilt, bitterness, and anxiety. Let go of guilt by focusing on the blood of Jesus, which has removed you from condemnation. Release bitterness with forgiveness, by blessing those who curse you. Overcome fear or anxiety by casting your cares upon Jesus through prayer.

BE THANKFUL. Gratitude is a daily decision—one you can make by focusing on God’s blessings. Isaiah 61 talks about “the garment of praise.” Like clothing, praise is something you can take on or off. Choose to put it on every day. Praise Him. When we set our eyes on Heaven, we’re no longer focused on the earth.

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS WITH COMMITTED BELIEVERS. Surrounding yourself with other followers of Christ makes a huge difference in your spiritual and emotional health. You’ll discover you’re not alone in your problems, and you’ll get support as you work to overcome them.

Do you want a healthier marriage? Take these steps today to start improving your emotional health, and you’ll see a stronger, deeper marriage emerge.


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