THE ONE WORD THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE
Do You Have a Plan to Achieve Your Marriage Goals? or Are You Riding the Roller Coaster of Life Relying on Happenstance
By Wendy Jessen
If there’s one thing you could add to your marriage to make it better, what would it be?
One article suggests that one word could change your marriage for the better: intention. “When a couple acts with intention in building the relationship, they are very likely to experience success. When two people act without any sense of purpose or intention, their chances of failure dramatically rise. … While some may stagger their way into a meaningful marriage, far more drift apart. Without a concerted effort toward the goal of health, few couples will experience the full potential of their relationship.”
As with any other success, you can’t achieve goals without working toward them deliberately. Intentionally.
In marriage, this means we have to love and be committed to the relationship with intention. How can we achieve this deliberate, intentional way of marriage?
Define what it is you and your spouse want for your marriage
You can’t achieve goals without first setting some. Decide as a couple what you want for your marriage and relationship. What does a healthy marriage look like? What qualities do happy couples possess? Write these things down. You may choose things like:
- Be a safe place for one another, a refuge from the stress and hardships of the world.
- Make sure we each feel love for/from one another.
- Be an example of a strong marriage for our children and those around us.
- Have the ability to overcome struggles together.
Making intentional goals for your marriage requires action. After you’ve set goals for a successful marriage, you have to decide how those goals are going to happen.
Decide how your goals will be achieved
Setting goals is useless if you don’t have a doable plan to achieve them. Goals require action, determination and committment. After you’ve chosen intentional goals, you have to decide how you can successfully reach them. Here are some ideas:
- Improve communication.
- Put each other first (even above kids and work).
- Show your spouse you love him/her.
- Refrain from anger, name-calling, yelling, belittling or anything else that can compromise feeling love/loved.
- Forgive often.
- Schedule regular date nights.
- Create opportunities to communicate alone together.
- In some cases, seek a marriage counselor to help you attain your goals.
If you want a successful marriage, you have to be headed toward goals, striving for improvement each day. No, it’s not a straight line to success. There will be bumps in the road and detours, but as long as you work as a couple to find your way back to the path, you’re on your way to success.
As you do things with intention, your marriage and actions will have a well-defined purpose. Love, commit, compromise, forgive and work together with intent. Don’t just go through the motions. Want it. Work for it. Decide how to get there. Your marriage is worth it.