One Simple Solution to Help You and Your Partner Conquer Stress

One Simple Solution to Help You and Your Partner Conquer Stress


By Brittany Malak, MA, LMFT

“Grow through what you go through”

More and more each day, we zoom through life avoiding the stress that always seems to follow us. We’ve actually become quite good at dodging the twists and turns of life. Life can be so chaotic at times that it feels like the only way we will get through it is to hold our heads down and power through. We survive.

Survival. A natural instinct that puts our entire lives in jeopardy, our relationships, our joy, our careers, our family.

The awesome thing about being a human being is that we are otherworldly resilient. Every day we wake up and face the challenges that arise without hesitation. However, are we the same people that we were at the beginning of the day as we were at the end of the day?

Stress and chaos have a funny way of molding and shaping us to behave in a certain way to be able to do just that, survive. A silent transformation takes place during stress. One that changes both body and mind.

What if that change was one that we facilitated? What if that change was one that we could nurture and be proud of? What does it really mean to “grow through what you go through”?

Being a relationship therapist, aside from a blogger, I’ve noticed way too many instances in my practice in which couples run through life, parallel, without ever pausing to look at each other. Unfortunately for many, this leads to severe unhappiness in not only their relationship but life in general.

How do we battle the world together, like a bad-ass superhero gang, not only conquering but molding the world around us?

Maybe it isn’t as hard as we tell ourselves it is. Here’s one simple solution.

Mornings. They’ve become a time of chaos, stress, rushing, screaming children, drowsiness, and pure insanity. Reclaim them. Wake up five minutes earlier. Yes, you heard me correctly, earlier. Trust me, that five minutes will not make a difference in your sleepiness, but five minutes can move mountains in relationships.

So get up. Move a mountain, and listen to your spouse. Don’t roll over and pick up your phone (guilty). Hear what they have planned for the day, hear their worries, hear their excitement, hear their joy. Share with them those emotions, whatever they may be.

Let your partner know that you are here with them in all the ridiculousness that the world may bring to them that day. Not just running a parallel path. We can’t change stress. We can’t avoid stress. But we can sit with our partners in stress.

​Let your partner know that you see them.

“We Grow Together What We Go Through”


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