By ONE QUESTION THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE (WHEN YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE)
By Angel Chernoff
Ready for a quick reality check?
To a great extent, we create our fate every single day, and most of the ills we suffer from are directly traceable to our own (controllable) attitude. Life is packed full of uncontrollable events; in many situations, the only thing we can control is the attitude we choose to respond with.
When you really take the time to think about it, everything happening around us is basically neutral and meaningless up until the point that we give it meaning. And the questions we ask ourselves drive the meaning we create and the attitude we have about everything.
Regardless of what you’re going though, it’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?
When our “Getting Back to Happy” course students come to us feeling down about a life situation they can’t control, we typically start by reinforcing the hard truth: sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible – or simply not possible soon enough. You can’t get to a new job in an instant. You can’t make someone else change against his or her will. And you certainly can’t erase the past. But…
You CAN always choose an attitude that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control.
Here’s one powerful question that will support you with a positive attitude adjustment when you need it most:
Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you erased the thought that’s worrying you?
Honestly, worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create moments you don’t want.
So again, identify a specific thought that’s been troubling your worried mind lately, and then visualize how your life would be different if you removed this thought for a little while:
- How would it change your outlook on your present life situation?
- Would you treat yourself and others differently?
- How might you feel and behave today?
- What else would you be able to see or do today without that thought distracting you?
Remember, the goal isn’t to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings, and life circumstances. That’s impossible. The goal is to change your response to them…
And finally, if you’re struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to think more clearly, respond more effectively, and get our lives back on track.
