Dad Gets Silent Treatment After Refusing to Pay $200,000 For Daughter’s Wedding

Dad Gets Silent Treatment After Refusing to Pay $200,000 For Daughter’s Wedding


What would you do?

By Leigh Pizzutilla

A New York father is seeking out advice after getting the silent treatment from his wife and daughter after he refused to pay $200,000 for his daughter’s destination wedding to New Zealand. The dad, who posted on an anonymous forum, claimed that he has received the silent treatment from his wife and daughter because he can afford the cost, but is hesitating due to family and principle.

His post read, “My daughter is getting married, and she wishes to have a destination wedding and I told her no. My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth. Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. Which got me thinking should I bite the bullet and essentially burn money, and alienate family members to make my daughter’s dream wedding a reality?”

He continued by adding edits to the post saying, “Forgot to mention she wants to get married in NZ, we also are from NY. Also, forgot to mention she is currently asking for around 200k. This is not counting what guests would have to pay to come.”

The father added that he was planning to call and ask for prices of venues that are near them in New York by saying, “Tomorrow I am going to start making phone calls to price what a wedding in NY would cost at different head counts from 100 to 200 people. I do not know the exact size I just know he also has a large close family. After I get that information I will use that to make an informed choice, but it will be an ‘either or’ situation. Because they are playing this game I will tell both of them my wife and daughter that it is a wedding or house. If my wife makes a fuss over it that is a battle I will have to face at another time.”

The father answered a few questions in the comments, the first one being if he’d feel differently about paying the same price but at home in New York and if he would pay that much for something else, like a house.

“If the wedding was 200k in NY? No,” he replied. “If she asked for 200k for a house? Yeah, I would do that in a heartbeat. Spending 200k on something that serves no other purpose than showing off wealth is not something I signed off on. I get getting her a house is also showing off wealth but a house serves a long-term purpose.”

Many people criticized the father, saying it was his fault for raising a “spoiled, entitled” child. He responded by saying, “I grew up poor, and I did not buy her fancy cars or super expensive gifts all the time, I tend to cave on experiences. I paid for her to travel for a year before college for example. I am also a sucker, she is my baby girl so she knows how to play me, I am not going to lie. So no it is not out of character, I created this situation I do understand that.”

Many commenters have mixed thoughts on the situation. Some say that the father should just give in since he can afford it, others say that he should stand his ground and continue to say no. Some commenters even gave their advice on the cost of things in New Zealand, one user saying “As someone who lives in NZ, I can honestly say that this $200k budget will absolutely skyrocket. Everything is expensive in NZ. Food, accommodation, domestic flights, gas, it will all be MUCH more expensive than even your daughter can imagine. And as soon as you say the word ‘wedding’, costs increase at venues, with caterers, with accommodation.”


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