CUSTOMIZE THE STORY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER
By Stacey Stafford
What’s your story? If you’re reading this, it’s likely your story isn’t how you want to tell it. Since we were young, we’ve been led to believe in the Disney, happy-ever-after relationship. Anything short of that is unfulfilling. We think that good marriages mean feeling understood, important, cherished, and attractive, knowing how to talk to each other. But you feel like your marriage does not reflect this. The couples I see usually come in feeling disconnected, like roommates, desperately longing for something more. Counseling is a journey of reconnection. It takes seeing another perspective, learning new ways to talk with your partner, so your partner hears you, and you feel understood and accepted.
When we live with another person, we can become stagnant in our thinking. We can create a box or story for our partners or feel like our partner doesn’t really see us or understand us. You may even feel like the more you try to explain yourself, the less your partner understands. You have almost lost hope that your partner will see things differently.
Many couples come to see me, telling me that they do not feel understood or heard by their partners. They feel hurt, rejected, and disconnected. When you are hurt, seemingly minor things like the shoes in the middle of the floor or that cluttered drawer become major issues. These minor issues become symbols that your partner no longer cares for you. The happy-ever-after feels gone.
Couples counseling offers a needed shift in perspective. It is very difficult to rise above hurts and frustrations that serve as barriers to truly seeing your partner’s heart. I will help you shift from old ways of thinking that will strengthen and deepen your relationship. We do this by creating a safe emotional space, setting intentions, uncovering, voicing, and aligning assumptions and expectations. This process creates understanding, heals hurts, and provides a roadmap for marital satisfaction.
New Communication Pathways
I help you uncover why you’re stuck. It is normal to make assumptions in relationships. Many times, we are unconscious of the assumptions we make. We may interpret a look or tone in a way that makes sense to us but may not be what our partner is trying to express. These assumptions can build over time. If left unaddressed, they can cause rifts in your relationship.
In counseling, we work through hidden assumptions and expectations, past pain, and expressing your feelings in a way your partner will understand. These sessions increase intimacy and understanding. Our time together provides you with new tools and practices to understand your partner, mend the wounds, strengthen your commitment, and bring fulfillment to your relationship.
Complicated from COVID
During the COVID pandemic, many couples are experiencing strain and stress in their relationship. Couples come in questioning their relationship, careers, and purpose. Many partners are now working from home, a change with the pandemic. This change has caused boundary issues and frustrations, often intensifying minor marital strains present before the pandemic. The couples I am working with want to use this opportunity to shift their relationship from feeling like roommates into a meaningful, intimate partnership.
Writing your Story
I am here to help you write your custom story together. Together, we will change the lens, looking at things from a new perspective. Together we edit the scripts that are not working, that act as barriers to your communication. Through couples counseling, you have the opportunity to customize the story of your relationship in a way that is meaningful and satisfying to you.