Afraid to Love

Afraid to Love


By Richard (Dick) Innes

“He who fears has not been made perfect in love.”1

Everybody needs to love and be loved. We all know this, but what we don’t always realize is that some of us don’t get our love needs met because we’re afraid to love and be loved. This is because somewhere in our past we were hurt by those who were supposed to love us. To love again means to be hurt again.

Take Jill for example. She was continually accusing Tom, her husband, of being over-interested in other women. Any friendliness Tom showed toward the opposite sex was misinterpreted by Jill based on her own fear.

Through counseling, Jill came to see that her fear belonged to her past. When she was very young, her father left her mother for another woman and abandoned her as well. Deep down Jill feared that Tom would do the same to her.

Tom loved Jill very much and had no intention of leaving her. Neither did he have any personal interest in any other woman. However, because of Jill projecting her fear onto Tom, her accusations were pushing him away. Had she not realized and received help to overcome her problem, she may very well have destroyed her marriage and the love she needed the most. Unless resolved, all too often the thing we fear we make to happen.

Suggested Prayer:

“Dear God, please help me to recognize any unresolved fears in my life that may be hurting me or others, and to find the help I need to overcome them so I can be made perfect in love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. (1 John 4:18, NKJV)


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