7 common things that are surprisingly bad for your marriage

7 common things that are surprisingly bad for your marriage


Lindsey Miller

Thanks to the internet, it’s extremely easy to find information and advice on marriage. In fact, sometimes advice you don’t even want is just thrown in your face and you have to take it with a smile (and a grain of salt).

To make things even more confusing, sometimes the advice you get is completely opposite from what you’ve heard before. Someone tells you you should never go to bed angry, but the next day someone else says you should absolutely go to bed angry. How do you know what to believe and practice?

Ultimately, you have to figure out what’s best for you, but no matter what, there are seven things that are never great for your marriage:

  1. Moving in together before marriage

Moving in together before you’re married seems like the mainstream thing to do these days, but it can actually have negative long-term effects. In some (not all) cases, it shows a lack of commitment and stability because it’s easier to end the relationship if you’re just living together. If you get into the habit of moving in with multiple partners then eventually get married, it’ll be a lot harder to work on your marriage and make it great because you’re used to breaking up after a time.

  1. Holding a grudge

Forgiveness is one of the main keys to a happy marriage. You’ll never be completely happy if you can’t forgive your spouse, especially if you tend to hold grudges over the smallest things. When your spouse apologizes, or even if they don’t – let the small things go. You’ll be so much happier if you do.

  1. Looking at pornography

This one isn’t too surprising, but it’s worth talking about. Pornography is proven to have some seriously harmful effects on marriage and families, so don’t let it be a part of your life or your marriage.

  1. Personal hobbies and friendships

Don’t get me wrong, personal hobbies and friendships are awesome. You should hold on to the things that make you unique. However, too much time spent with hobbies and friends takes a toll on your marriage. Find a healthy balance and remember that your spouse should always come first.

  1. Being on your phone

Being on your phone is necessary sometimes. Sometimes you just need some screen time – your spouse will understand that. But if you’re spending excessive amounts of time staring at that little screen and paying less attention to your spouse because of it, it’s time to put the phone down and focus on what really matters … your marriage.

  1. Fighting too much

We’ve all heard that arguing is actually healthy for your marriage, but it’s only healthy if you know how to fight fair (and if you’re not fighting all the time). Instead of arguing, work together to find a fair solution to your problem. Only fight when it’s absolutely necessary, and don’t sweat the small things. It’s not worth an unhappy marriage.

  1. Venting to friends

I think we’ve all done this at one point or another, but it’s not a good idea to talk negatively about your spouse to friends or family. If you’re having a problem, talk to your spouse and work it out. Complaining to a friend won’t fix anything, but talking through it with your spouse will.

If any of these issues are affecting your marriage, you can work on them together. Talk with your spouse and figure out the best way to improve your marriage for a happier life (and learn to ignore the advice that doesn’t fit you as a couple).


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