By 4 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN YOU FEEL LOST AND ALONE
By Angel Chernoff
Here are some key things to keep in mind on those days when you’re feeling a bit lost and alone…
1. You are not stuck. No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you always have the choice to turn around. So be where you are; that’s where your power is. Accept life, learn from it, and grow from it. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done; what matters most is what you do and where you go from here. Remind yourself that not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.
2. All the seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with colleagues you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comic strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are. All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today.
3. I can tell you from my own life experience that I’ve found love, lost it, found it, lost it and then I found it once again. But each time what I found was more incredible than the last. So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point. You are not alone. Everyone feels lost at times. The key is using your experiences to grow. When you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.
4. Yes, you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Over the years, so many things have happened—things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons and forced your spirit to grow. As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed. Respond to them by saying, “Of course, I’ve changed. That’s what life is all about. I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger and wiser now than I ever was before.”
The bottom line is that you are a product of your past, but you don’t have to be a prisoner of your past. It may be hard, but you can LET GO! You CAN accept the feeling of not knowing exactly where you’re going next, and train yourself to love and appreciate this freedom. Because it is only when you are suspended in the air, with no destination in sight, that you force your wings to open fully so you can fly. And as you soar around you still may not know where you’re traveling to. But that’s not what’s important. What’s important is the opening of your wings. You may not know where you’re headed, but you know that so long as your wings are spread, the winds will carry you forward.
And again, I know that’s sometimes much easier said than done.
Making this kind of perspective shift—thinking better—takes guidance and practice…
Ultimately, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest and most ruthless conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you feared were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations always get the best of you. It’s where you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. And if you allow these self-defeating thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, productivity, meaning, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into endless disappointment, heartache, and even depression.
But are you ready for the silver lining?
YOU CAN change the way you think.
And if you can change the way you think, you can master a new way to be…
Is this your wake–up call?
How many times have you thought “this isn’t working” or “something is not right” or “things have to change”? — those thoughts and words are from your inner voice. It’s your wake-up call calling. You don’t need more stress or a major crisis to wake up. And no one needs to tell you because you already know. Your inner voice has been trying to tell you, but in case it’s been a challenge to find time and space to listen through the chaos, maybe you’ll resonate with one of these situations.
- If your life is aimlessly on auto-pilot, this is your wake-up call.
- If you never put yourself first, this is your wake-up call.
- If you’ve become someone you don’t recognize to please other people or to chase some version of success that doesn’t resonate with you, this is your wake-up call.
- If you are constantly numbing out with food, shopping, booze, TV, or other distractions, this is your wake-up call.
- If you are worn down, beat up, stressed out, and completely depleted, this is your wake-up call.
Getting your wake-up call is not the hard part, answering the call is. Choosing to answer the call instead of ignoring it is hard. Right now, it may feel easier to keep going, and going, and going gradually in the wrong direction. But you know if you don’t find a way out of the endless cycle you’re in, it’s going to get worse.
It’s time to listen to what your inner voice has been telling you…
Because despite the real-world challenges you face, the biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to personally overcome is your own mind and how often you resist your own better judgment. No, you aren’t responsible for everything that happens to you in life (the chaos around you), but you ARE responsible for undoing the self-defeating thinking patterns (the chaos within you) that these undesirable experiences create.
YES, YOU CAN THINK BETTER, which means you can tune that inner voice of yours and ultimately live better because of it.
