10 THINGS THAT CAN STOP YOU FROM MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE
Based on research in all walks of life, you don’t suddenly become successful. You become successful over time from all the little things you do every day.
Failure occurs in the same way. All your little daily failures (that you don’t learn and grow from) come together and cause you to fail…
So with this principle in mind, I want to share some weak points we’ve seen plaguing thousands of our coaching client and course members over the past decade – little things people do every day that stop them from moving forward with their lives:
1. You want and expect things to be easy.
Easy goals don’t exist. A goal is a point of achievement that requires effort and sacrifice. There are no esteemed ventures worth participating in that don’t require some level of effort and struggle. Decades from now when you’re resting on your deathbed, you will not remember the days that were easy, you will cherish the moments when you rose above your difficulties and conquered goals of magnitude. You will dream of the strength you found within yourself that allowed you to achieve what once seemed impossible. So don’t do what’s easy, do what you’re capable of. Astound yourself with your own greatness.
2. You are holding on to something that’s not real.
Let go of what was never really there. Your intuition knows what I’m referring to – the pictures in your head that go against the present reality. Remind yourself that not everything is meant to be, and you have to accept this. You have to seriously sit down with yourself and come to grips with the fact that you were wrong about it all along. It was just an illusion that never really was what you thought it was. It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place. The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting go and taking the next step.
3. You keep telling yourself the wrong story.
Forget what everyone else thinks of you; chances are, they aren’t thinking about you that often anyhow. If you feel like they always are, understand that this perception of them watching you and critiquing your every move is a complete figment of your imagination. It’s your own inner fears and insecurities that are creating this illusion. It’s you judging yourself that’s the problem. You judge yourself by telling yourself a story inside of your head. Every moment of every day you’re telling yourself this story. You are building your future around this story, so tell it right. Create a positive narrative about your dreams and goals that include only the circumstances that matter. What you think others are thinking about you is not part of this narrative, and neither are your negative self-judgments.
4. You let a few negative people fill your mind with garbage.
Of course, there will inevitably be a few people in your life who will be critical of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it. If you say you want to be a dancer, they will discredit your rhythm. If you say you want to build a new business, they will give you a dozen reasons why it might not work. They somehow assume you don’t have what it takes, but they are dead wrong. It’s a lot easier to be negative than positive – a lot easier to be critical than correct. When you’re embarking on a new venture, instead of listening to the few critics that will try to discredit you, spend time talking to one of the millions of people in this world who are willing to support your efforts and acknowledge your potential, respectfully.
5. You close your mind to new ideas and perspectives.
Even as you grow wiser and wiser with age you must remind yourself that an understanding is never absolutely final. What’s currently right could easily be wrong later. Thus, the most destructive illusion is a settled point of view. So remember that success in life does not depend on always being right. To make real progress you must let go of the assumption that you already have all the answers. You can listen to others, learn from them, and successfully work with them even though you may not agree with every opinion they have. When people respectfully agree to disagree, everyone benefits from the diversity of perspective.
6. You avoid the truth.
Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on honesty and truth. When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, any attempt at transformation eventually leads to anger and frustration. The truth always creeps back up on you; it does not cease to exist when you ignore it. Being fake about any aspect of your existence slowly digs a dark void in your soul. Life will simply not work for you if you don’t show up as YOU. The truth may not be easy to deal with, but it will always set you free in the end.
7. You want things to be perfect.
Every one of us is a perfectionist about something. Learn to sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done. Realize that the idea of perfection is not only unachievable, it can destroy your otherwise productive mindset. It will keep you running in place, feeling insane for your entire life. If you feel like you’re running in place right now, take a break and reflect. Think about the difference between diligent effort and perfectionism. Know whe n enough is enough. Say it out loud if you must: “Get lost perfectionism! Without you I am brilliant!”
8. You refuse to accept necessary risks.
Living is about learning as you go. Living is risky business. Every decision, every interaction, every step, every time you get out of bed in the morning, you take a small risk. To truly live is to know you’re getting up and taking that risk, and to trust yourself to take it. To not get out of bed, clutching to illusions of safety, is to die slowly without ever having truly lived. Think about it: If you ignore your instincts and let shallow feelings of uncertainty stop you, you will never know anything for sure, and in many ways this un-knowing will be worse than finding out your instincts were wrong. Because if you were wrong, you could make adjustments and carry on with your life, without looking back and wondering what might have been.
9. You keep waiting and waiting and waiting for the right time.
You cannot wait for the perfect time; it will never come. If you think this moment feels like the wrong time, think again. It’s just uncertainty messing with your mind. Most of the time you must dare to jump. Today is the first day of a new beginning – the conception of a new life. The next nine months are all yours. You can do with them as you please. Make them count. Because a new person is born in nine months. The only question is: who do you Wang that person to be? Right now is the right time to decide.
10. You change nothing and expect different results. There’s a saying that the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you want to improve yourself, you have to try new things to see what works and what doesn’t. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Often the difference between a successful person and a person who struggles to implement positive changes is not one’s superior abilities, but the courage that one has to bet on one’s ideas, to take calculated risks, and to take steady steps forward. In other words, some people sit and wait for the magic beans to arrive while the rest of us just get up and get to work.