When You First Got Married

WHEN YOU FIRST GOT MARRIED

Do you remember when you first got married?

Most people can think back on the excitement of life and the newness that filled everything hey did in those first weeks and months. There was purpose in going to work. There was joy in coming home. Even cleaning the house was a delight because you knew that you were doing it for the man you loved.

Then something happened and the beauty and innocence you had in the beginning went away. Perhaps in the beginning it was somewhat like Adam and Eve when they were naked with each other and knew no shame. You used to share everything with each other, the deepest and most intimate moments that you would share with no one else.

But now something separates you. When you get around each other, there’s that doubt, that fear of setting off your spouse, of hitting that old button. And there’s shame in the intimacy you used to have because you wonder where it went and whether you should have ever shared those deep places of your heart in the first place.

Adam and Eve experienced that separation too, and it started when Adam tried to pass responsibility for his problems to Eve. “It’s not my fault,” he told God, “that woman you gave me told me to eat the apple.”

Eve followed Adam’s example, “It’s not my fault, either. The serpent tricked me!”

All too often, a rift grows between us and our spouse when a difficult time comes—an argument, a tough choice on which we disagree, or someone makes a big mistake—and we choose to blame one another. As soon as we blame, we take sides and find our marriage divided.

The first step back to the love, shamelessness, and innocence is to forgive and to take responsibility. “I’m sorry, please forgive me” goes a long, long way.

Choose today to come back to the same side with your spouse. Repent, forgive, and take responsibility. It will save your marriage and bring you back to where you began. Stay blessed.

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