One of our absolute favorite compliments that we’ve ever heard one spouse give to another comes from a story of a couple that had been married nearly 67 years. One evening when this couple was in their old age, they were sitting together and the wife leaned over to the husband and gently said, “You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”
What an incredible compliment! One that we’re all trying to live up to.
One of the most wonderful parts of being married is having a companion to share the experiences of life with. Having someone by your side to laugh with, cry with, and work with, who loves you for who you are… quirks and all! Having someone by your side who will cheer you on and push you to be your best self. Having someone by your side who you can share everything with without feeling judged. Having someone to hold you, love you, support you, and care for you. In short, one of the most wonderful parts of being married is having someone at your side who gives you wings to fly.
Sounds pretty awesome, doesn’t it!? Don’t we all want a spouse who gives us wings to fly?
But while we consider how wonderful it is to have someone who gives you wings to fly, let’s also recognize another important question to ask yourself, “Are you giving your spouse wings to fly?” It’s important to remember that marriage is a two-way street – one that requires more giving than receiving to be truly successful. It requires us to look beyond ourselves and consider the needs of our spouse before considering our own. Successful and thriving marriages are built as each companion maintains as their primary objective the happiness of their spouse.
And here’s where the magic happens… when each spouse is more concerned with the well-being of their partner, both spouses end up having their needs, and even some of their wants, met. Plain and simple, marriages built on this strategy last – and the spouses are genuinely happy.
So, what does it mean to support your spouse? How can you give them wings to fly? While each marriage is unique and will function a little differently, here are some ideas for what supporting your spouse may look like.
- Picking up flowers for your wife because you know she’s had a long week at work.
- Greeting your spouse with a big hug and a kiss the moment he or she walks through the door.
- Ironing his shirt for him the morning before his big presentation.
- Taking your husband’s car through the car wash for a well-needed scrub because you know he hasn’t had enough time to do it himself and he loves a clean car.
- Picking up her favorite treat to celebrate her half birthday.
- Doing more than your fair share of work around the house to provide your spouse with some extra time to focus on his/her big project… without complaining.
- Encouraging your spouse to pursue their hobbies and strengthen their talents.
- Not freaking out when your wife goes a little over budget on groceries because she’s trying to prepare a nice meal for the neighbors.
- Taking care of the kids every night for three straight weeks while your spouse crams for a big test.
- Patiently putting up with long hours and some late nights as your spouse volunteers with the local church group.
- Stealing your spouse away for an afternoon date because you know they need a break and an opportunity to recharge.
- Making an extra effort to be physically intimate with your spouse… especially if it’s been a while.
- Attending that sporting event with your husband just because it makes him happy.
- Always speaking highly of your spouse in front of others.
- Believing in them – especially during those times when they’re lacking self confidence.
- Attending the performance your spouse has been preparing for for the past three months… and bringing flowers for them on closing night.
- Getting up at night with the baby so your spouse can catch up on some much-needed sleep.
- Being extra patient with your wife and pampering her a little more during that special time of the month.
- Letting him have time to work on the car – without complaining – because it helps him decompress.
- Giving your spouse a massage at the end of a long day just to show your appreciation and love.
- Waking up extra early to make lunch for your spouse when they have to be out the door at 5:30 a.m.
- Treating your spouse to a well deserved “night out” with their friends while you watch the kids.
- Making an extra effort to acknowledge and express appreciation for all your spouse does for you.
Hopefully, as you read through this list you noticed some ways that support is shown in your marriage. What does support look like for you and your spouse? How can you make sure you’re giving your spouse wings to fly? These are questions worth considering and ideas that are worth making a little extra effort today to pursue. As you do, we guarantee your efforts will nurture your marriage!