How Self Respect Affects You and Your Relationship

self respect

HOW SELF RESPECT AFFECTS YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Alison Ricard

Self respect plays a very important part in relationships and happiness. But can you differentiate the line between giving in and losing your own respect?

We’ve all heard this line before, that love needs understanding and compromise to be successful.

And it’s definitely true.

But love works best only when both partners understand each other and compromise for each other.

If you give while your partner only takes, no matter how compromising or caring you are, you can’t hold on to happiness forever.

And that’s where self respect comes into the picture.

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Should You Never Make Someone a Priority?

making someone a priority

SHOULD YOU NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY?

Morgan Miller

Ever heard that line, you should never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option? Well, here’s what you need to know about it.

When you love someone dearly, it’s obvious that you’ll make them a priority in your life.

But what do you do when the feeling isn’t mutual?

Well, that’s where everything starts to go wrong in a relationship.

Misunderstandings in expectations from each other are almost always the biggest reason for bad relationships and friendships.

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20 Things Happy Couples Don’t Do in a Perfect Relationship

20 THINGS HAPPY COUPLES DON’T DO IN A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP

Shawn Lehrke

There are many things you can do to build a perfect relationship. However, sometimes it’s the things you don’t do that make all the difference.

Achieving a happy relationship with someone takes more than just a bit of good luck. It requires daily exercise in healthy relationship practices that help build a strong bond between two people. While couples do many things to keep their relationships happycommunicating, for examplethe things they don’t do might lend more to their happiness as a couple than you may think.

Things you shouldn’t do if you want a happy relationship

If you’re looking for ways to build a happy relationship with someone special, consider the following “don’t do” tips that other happy couples swear by.

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Selfishness in Relationships: 15 Tips to Do the Right Thing

selfishness-in-a-relationship

SELFISHNESS IN RELATIONSHIPS: 15 TIPS TO DO THE RIGHT THING

Danielle Anne

Being selfish is okay once in a while, especially in relationships. But is there ever a place for selfishness in a relationship? And if so, when?

Selfishness is one of the negative traits that a person can possess. Although it is a general guideline to not be selfish at all, most people are still victims of their own whims.

The urge to become selfish pops up when you least expect it. Nobody really goes out of their way to be selfish. It usually occurs when someone asks you for something that you don’t want to give. Of course, in order to love someone else, you do need to be able to love yourself; but you don’t want to take your self-love too far. Here are some general guidelines on what selfishness is in the first place, and when it may or may not be okay to act a little self-centered in your relationship.

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Your Guy’s Annoying Friends and How to Deal with Them

your boyfriend's annoying friends

YOUR GUY’S ANNOYING FRIENDS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Danielle Anne

You can’t stand his friends, but they’re an important part of who your man is. How can you come to terms with this common relationship conundrum?

Dating someone can be complicated, especially when their friends are involved. You know the person you like, but knowing their friends is another story. You can become friends with your partner’s friends, but it does not mean that everything will always work out the way you want it to.

Some people have friends who have less than agreeable personalities. This is especially true when you just started seeing someone, and then found out that their friends were bad influences. If you encounter those, there’s not much you can do. I repeat, not much you can do, but I’m sure we can find something to ease your woes.

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Manchild Alert! 23 Signs You’re Dating an Immature Prick

Manchild-immature-man

MANCHILD ALERT! 23 SIGNS YOU’RE DATING AN IMMATURE PRICK

Bella Pope

When you open yourself up and fall in love, you think you’re falling in love with a man. But what do you do if he ends up being an immature manCHILD?

The last thing I want when I start dating someone is to end up being a babysitter and not a girlfriend. Yet, for some reason, this has happened to me time and time again. I don’t know if it’s because of my motherly qualities or if I just attract needy and childish men, but I seem to be stuck with them a lot.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not some stuck up lady that thinks any guy who knows how to have fun is automatically considered a manchild. But if you’re taking ‘fun’ to such a level that only an 8 year old would enjoy, then I definitely have a problem.

What is a manchild?

Just as Urban Dictionary defines the term manchild, it is a man who is so immature that they are considered a child. By ‘immature’ I mean that this man can’t take care of himself in any way, shape, or form.

For some reason it seems like there is a manchild epidemic threatening to take over the world. Since our generations don’t stress the need for growing up and becoming a ‘man,’ some people just never seem to catch up to their actual age anymore, whereas in past generations, you needed to get your act together by the age of 16 and grow up.

Are you dating a manchild?

For the sake of women everywhere, you should take action when you know you’re dating a manchild. Don’t let him invade your life and continue with his childish antics. If you’re not sure if your man qualifies as an annoying manchild, here are some signs to tell for sure and just what you can do to fix it.

#1 He never cleans up after himself. As in, EVER. A guy who throws dirty dishes into the sink without even rinsing them and then lets them fester there for days until you finally have had enough, is nothing more than your typical manchild.

#2 He doesn’t even know HOW to clean up after himself. And if he doesn’t clean up after himself not because he’s lazy, but because he actually doesn’t know how to work the dishwasher – or hell, even the sink – he’s still a manchild.

#3 He expects you to do the ‘woman’ stuff. If your boyfriend is harping at you to cook, clean, do the laundry, and all of the stuff that the ‘girl is supposed to do’ he hasn’t matured yet at all.

#4 He freaks out if he doesn’t get his way. You know, like how a toddler would throw everything they’re holding and lay on the ground screaming until you give them what they want. He can’t handle it when life in general doesn’t cater to his every need.

#5 He can’t handle constructive criticism. A manchild just can’t take it when someone tells them how they can do something better. In their immature mind, they’re the best at everything. So he’ll just slump down for a while following constructive criticism.

#6 He’s never wrong. If arguing with your boyfriend is completely pointless because there’s just no way he’ll ever see your side because he’s always right, you may be dating a manchild.

#7 Any type of game brings out his ugly side. Forget drinking games, board games, and even a nice game of Frisbee because if he loses – or even if he wins – he’ll be a sore loser or a gloating, insulting winner.

#8 He only thinks about himself. Selfishness is a big trait of a manchild. Their inability to think about anyone else in any given situation just proves their immaturity.

#9 He has no idea how to handle his finances. If he’s spending money left and right with no way of tracking it or even being able to pay for it, you’re dating a manchild.

#10 He lets his mom treat him like a child. Honestly, I would have to say that about 50% of the responsibility for a guy becoming a manchild lies with how his mother treats him.

#11 He can’t take responsibility for his actions. A manchild is someone who always has a scapegoat for everything. They’re never at fault and can do no wrong. Whether they blame someone else or even certain technologies for malfunctioning, he wasn’t the one who messed up.

#12 His friends and hobbies outrank you. If you come last when it comes to his friends and hobbies, you’re dating a manchild who obviously is too immature to handle the realities of a relationship.

#13 He talks a big game… and hardly ever follows through. He may talk tough, he may promise you great things, but if he never–or hardly–follows through with his intentions, then he’s a manchild.

#14 He never plans for his future. Does he have a retirement plan? Does he have a backup savings account for emergencies? Does he even know what he wants to have accomplished in the next 5 years? If not, then he’s too immature to realize that these are important adult matters that need to be taken care of.

#15 He puts you down in front of your and his friends. If your boyfriend is actually insulting you and putting you down in front of company – especially your friends – he’s doing so to make himself look better. This is a quality most seen in 10 year old bullies. Good luck with your manchild.

#16 His friends possess qualities of being manchildren. Do his friends follow these same personality traits? The more likely a person’s friends are manchildren, the more likely he is to be one.

#17 If he gets sick it’s suddenly the end of the world. Does he actually act like a child when he’s sick? He might just have a cold but in his eyes it’s the worst thing to hit the world since the black plague.

#18 He expects you to handle all the ‘adult’ stuff. Paying bills, getting the cars tuned up, going grocery shopping, etc. If your boyfriend shoves all that aside for you to take care of, he clearly is a manchild who can’t even handle adult aspects of life.

#19 He’s insensitive in bad situations. No matter what the situation or what degree of severity it is, he just doesn’t care if it doesn’t affect him. Manchildren aren’t empathetic people and therefore, don’t really care if hundreds of people die in mass shootings or explosions every year.

#20 He can’t hold a steady job. Does your boyfriend consistently have to be looking for a job because he’ll be fired or quit one after only a few months? If so, it could be a sign that he’s a manchild because he can’t follow rules and maintain a steady job.

The Fix – Turn your manchild into a man

Fixing a manchild isn’t an easy task. It could take a long time for them to properly mature into a real adult. However, there are some ways to hurry the process along.

#1 Be patient. I say this one first because fixing a manchild can be a long and frustrating process. Take it day by day and just remember to be calm. If you really care about him and want to be with him, be patient for his change.

#2 Communicate with them. You have to tell them what they’re doing and how it’s affecting you. They don’t realize that they’re being immature. Make sure they know how you feel and tell them often so they’re always reminded that they have to be changing something.

#3 Use incentives for them to change. If talking to them just isn’t enough, you may have to get real with them. Now, they may not accept this at first, but you’ll have to try. Tell them that if they can’t grow up and get their act together, you may have to move on. It’s a mean incentive, but it’s also honest down to its core.

If you’re dating a manchild, I’m truly sorry. They’re tough to deal with and even harder to fix. But with these signs you’re dating a manchild and solutions to that problem, you could be free of their hindering attitude in no time.

Avoid Them Like The Plague: 16 Types of Guys Not to Date

types of guys

AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE: 16 TYPES OF GUYS NOT TO DATE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

He might seem like a catch at first, but try to imagine him without all that first date charm. Or you could read up on these types of guys to avoid.

Dating can provide you valuable experiences and insights into what kinds of guys are out there. It helps you find out just what you like and don’t like in potential mates and relationships. However, the search for that “someone” can be frustrating. It may come to the point where you’re willing to settle for anyone, overlooking certain qualities you actually don’t like just so you can finally say you’re in a relationship.

However, if you’re a smart enough woman, you’ll know that there are just a few things that you should not put up with. There really are certain types of men that you should stay away from. While you may or may not have dated their kind in the past, there’s still time to change your ways and wise up to their quirks.

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Positive Parenting: Accept Feelings, Limit Actions

person and two toddler's playing at the seashore

POSITIVE PARENTING: ACCEPT FEELINGS, LIMIT ACTIONS

Rebecca Eanes

Over the years of moderating a popular parenting page on Facebook, I have had the opportunity to listen to many parents voice their concerns about changing their parenting paradigms to peaceful, positive parenting. One of the major goals of positive parenting is to raise emotionally intelligent children, and this is because research has shown that children with high emotional intelligence are less defiant, mentally healthier, and more successful both academically and in relationships.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, evaluate, and regulate emotions. In our quest to raise emotionally intelligent children, positive parents understand the importance of accepting a child’s feelings. A common misconception is that accepting all feelings means accepting all actions resulting from those feelings, leading to an unruly and disrespectful or spoiled and coddled child.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are what they are. We feel what we feel. What we do with those feelings, though, is extremely important, and that is a large part of emotional intelligence. It’s not about just understanding and accepting feelings but also teaching children appropriate actions around those feelings.

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Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

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Intimate Partner Violence and the #MeToo Movement

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE AND THE #METOO MOVEMENT

Mary Beth George

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault and violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Over the years, the term domestic violence has been broadened to the more accurate term, intimate partner violence, acknowledging that abuse can occur regardless of marital status, gender, or sexual orientation.

When you hear the term domestic or intimate partner violence, you probably imagine a woman with a black eye, fleeing in the middle of the night to escape her batterer. While that image is accurate, it does not capture the depth and breadth of what many women experience. It also does not bring into focus the batterer.

I should mention that while the majority of domestic violence victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect. Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey indicates that one in six men in the United States have experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, and 11% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

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