THREE DAILY RITUALS THAT STOP SPOUSES FROM TAKING EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED
When my wife and I got married, more than twelve years ago now, we were convinced that we would have a happy life together. Our courtship was exciting, and our wedding day was a dream. Little did we know that a switch flipped in both of our heads on the day we said “I do.” Indeed, the very next day—the first full day of our married life—my wife and I would begin taking each other for granted.
It’s only in looking back that I can understand what happened early in our marriage. At the time, the change was so gradual that we didn’t even notice it.
Before our wedding day, our focus was each other, having fun, and building our love. After our wedding day, our focus began to shift. Without realizing it, I viewed our wedding day as the finish line in the courtship race, and I had won the prize: my wife’s love.
5 THINGS YOU CAN DO WHEN HOBBIES THREATEN TO OVERTAKE YOUR MARRIAGE
Aaron & April Jacob
Painting, fishing, bodybuilding, crocheting, gaming, shopping, skiing, and the list goes on. And on. And on.
Life offers us opportunities to learn and participate in so many wonderful activities and interests (alone or with others) that can fill our days with meaningful, happy, and interesting experiences.
However, it is all too easy to become passionate (or obsessed) with one hobby, all at the expense of other more important priorities in our lives.
So, what do you do when your spouse cares more about their hobby than they do about you?
THE MAGIC RATIO OF HAPPY AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Whether it’s about not having enough sex, the dirty laundry, or spending too much money, conflict is inevitable in every marriage.
To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s. They asked couples to solve a conflict in their relationship in 15 minutes, then sat back and watched. After carefully reviewing the tapes and following up with them nine years later, they were able to predict which couples would stay together and which would divorce with over 90% accuracy.
Their discovery was simple. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is the balance between positive and negative interactions during conflict. There is a very specific ratio that makes love last.
11 THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT NEWBORNS (THAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO KNOW)
You’ve read all the parenting books, you have the nursery prepped and your hospital bag is waiting by the door. But before you bring that little bundle of joy home with you, there are a few things you should know about newborns.
- They’re not as cold as you think they are
Imagine someone wrapping you in a hat, scarf and large fleece blanket when you’re already comfortably warm. Many people assume (for reasons unknown) their babies are freezing even in temperature-controlled homes. Sure, you want your baby to be comfortable, but don’t overthink it. If you’re not freezing, your newborn probably isn’t either.
TAKING YOUR SPOUSE’S EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE
Call it sensitivity, call it being “in touch,” call it whatever you want – this small action will make a massive difference in the quality of your marriage. It’s pretty self-explanatory. If you want to be close to your spouse, you should take your their emotional temperature, daily.
Play (Emotional) Doctor
Doctors greet patients (for well or sick visits) by asking questions, taking vital signs, (including a temperature), and making sure that their patients are okay. As husband and wife, it would be wise to play the role of emotional doctor for your spouse from time to time.
DID YOU KNOW THAT HALF OF ALL MARRIAGES LAST FOREVER?
This short clip offers insight into some important statistics about marriage and divorce, and the importance of cluing in to the emotional bids of your spouse. We want to know what YOU think. Did you like the clip? Why or why not? Let us know in the comments below.
HOW TO REPAIR THE LITTLE THINGS SO THEY DON’T BECOME BIG THINGS
All couples argue. Happy couples argue well. They have strategies for dealing with their inevitable disagreements, and they process their feelings so they don’t bottle up.
We know from Dr. Gottman’s research that both partners in a relationship are emotionally available only 9% of the time. This leaves 91% of our relationship ripe for miscommunication.
The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is not that happy couples don’t make mistakes. We all hurt our partner’s feelings. The difference is that happy couples repair, and they do so early and often.