Don’t take it personally.

Remember back in elementary school when parents or teachers talked to us about bullies? We all got a lesson on how to handle being picked on and what not to do, but the most important thing we learned was that it wasn’t really about us at all.

The bully who claims to hate you so much really don’t care about you that much. All the teasing and the put-downs don’t have anything to do with you and everything to do with the bully.

Well, the same rule applies to men — especially guys who mistreat women.

Guys who make girls feel like they’re special and then completely change their minds just a few weeks later don’t do it just because they don’t like the girl anymore. They do it because they don’t like themselves. 

When a healthy, confident person is dating, and they come to the conclusion they’re no longer interested in you, they simply tell you in a nice, respectful way. Rejection will always sting, but it’s hard to get too upset when it’s done so nicely.

When an insecure person is dating, they tend to want everything from you instantly upon meeting. They talk about trip plans and meeting your parents and how happy they are that they met you. You’ve only known each other for five minutes, but already you’re lighting up their world — until a few days later when the excitement wears off and you stop hearing from him.

Those guys don’t mean anything they say. In fact, they really should just be saying it to themselves. Because anyone who intentionally hurts another person is only doing so because they’re insecure.

They can’t like you because they can’t even like themselves. 

So be cautious around the kind of guys who want to give you their all right away. Be wary of anyone who wants to jump into a relationship with you without taking the time to get to know you first.

And if you find yourself on the bad side of an insecure man, don’t listen to a word he says. Your confidence doesn’t have to be shaken by someone who can’t find their own.