5 “Notes to Self” About the Precious Little Time You Have Left

5 “NOTES TO SELF” ABOUT THE PRECIOUS LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT

Marc Chernoff

5 Notes to Self About the Precious Little Time You Have Left

A Good Girl (Who Didn’t Make It)

Alyssa was my best friend.  She was a talented musician, a graceful gymnast, a brilliant writer, and a deeply passionate human being.  She cared about people.  Love bled from every facet of her being.  When she spoke, her eyes were as sincere as her words.  And she always wanted to understand what was wrong so she could strive to make it better.

But Alyssa woke up one day during her senior year in college with a strange pain in her chest.  The on-campus doctors didn’t understand why, so they referred her to a specialist.  After several MRIs and blood tests, they determined that she had a rare, escalated case of Hodgkin’s lymphoma—a form of cancer.  She spent the next three years suffering through varying degrees of pain and sickness as multiple doctors treated her with radiation and chemotherapy.  And although these doctors were initially hopeful, Alyssa’s condition worsened, and she eventually succumbed to her cancer, dying on her 25th birthday.

A Bad Guy (Who Did)

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How to Fix a Relationship That’s Falling Apart

fix a relationship

HOW TO FIX A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S FALLING APART

Team LovePanky

A relationship, just like everything else in life, needs care and attention. Many couples overlook this detail and end up unhappy in a perfect relationship. Find out how to fix a relationship and turn things around.

Figuring out how to fix a relationship is a lot like stacking a deck of cards. There are so many different cards involved and it’s really difficult to know where exactly the balance went awry.

Just like a stack of cards, in almost all cases, it’s never a single reason that leads to a failure in love.

It’s a series of disappointments and resentments that lead to an unhappy relationship.

But nevertheless, it really doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love.

How to fix a relationship

If you still love your partner and are willing to work on your relationship, read these five simple pointers on how to fix a relationship.

They are easy and can bring back the happiness that’s lost in all the confusion and pain.

#1 Communication

How did you deal with the situation the last time you disagreed with your partner, or had a little fight?

Most couples prefer to just end an argument with slammed doors and silent evenings rather than face the situation, sort it out and clear the air.

You could give each other some space for a couple of days and wait for the issue to get sorted out by itself. But by avoiding a confrontation, you would end a fight but you really can’t understand each other or help each other. Problems that are brushed under the carpet have a way of raising a stink every now and then.

The next time you’re feeling frustrated and lonely, talk about it with your partner and try to get over the issue. Why do you need to talk to a third person and get help from the outside when you can actually talk frankly and listen to each other instead?

#2 Forgiveness

We’re all human, and all of us make mistakes, even the most perfect of people. If you want to know how to fix a relationship and have a successful one, both of you must learn to forgive each other. And most importantly, you must remember to never judge your partner.

It takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they feel may be bad or hurtful. When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.

The day either of you stop sharing your feelings and thoughts with each other is the day your relationship starts to drift apart, even if only by a small bit every day.

If you feel something’s wrong in the relationship or if your partner’s done something objectionable, talk to your partner without accusing them or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about it instead of yelling or cursing at your lover. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and forget. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.

#3 Compatibility

Compatibility is crucial if you want to know how to fix a relationship. In several cases, opposites attract and you may find yourself married to someone who’s got nothing in common with you. But if you think about it, perhaps, it’s those differences that brought both of you closer. Sometimes, compatibility doesn’t lie in sharing similar likes and dislikes, it lies in wanting to understand and lead the ways of your partner. If you’re having issues with compatibility and want to fix your relationship, you’d know what this means.

If your partner’s too carefree or lighthearted, you may be in love with your partner because you admire that quality, however much it may annoy you at times. Compatibility isn’t about how similar both of you are, but how well you mesh together as a couple.

Don’t look at your differences as burdens, instead look at it as something that either of you can learn from each other. Make a conscious effort to understand your partner and understand their behavior. By understanding each other’s minds, both of you can change and become better individuals and a better couple.

#4 Compromise

Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals fail in a relationship because of this one thing alone. Seriously, how difficult is it for couples to learn to give in selflessly once in a while? Over recent years, men and women have become too bullheaded and stubborn. Couples don’t like to give in, and it’s always my way or the highway. But think about it, if you truly love your partner, seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it?

If your partner’s happiness matters so much, why not go out of your way to compromise on something they like just to see your partner happy? If you can’t give in now and then, you’re cohabiting with your partner, and you’re not really in love with them.

Of course, it’s never good if one person always gives and the other person just takes. It has to be mutual. For starters, you could even keep count if nothing helps. Every time your partner compromises for you, you need to compromise for your partner. Over time, these things will begin to come naturally.

#5 Growing together

Relationships need to grow constantly, just like how individuals need to grow. When a relationship stagnates, you start to lose interest in it and soon, you stop caring about it. And one fine day, you may not even want to do anything with your partner.

Both of you start taking each other for granted and before you know it, the relationship comes to a grinding halt. If you want to know how to fix a relationship, you need to heal it from the inside. You can mend a bird’s feather, but you can’t really heal it until you help the bird move and fly.

Learn to improve a relationship and better it, learn from each other and give enough space to each other to grow as individuals. Only by becoming better individuals can both of you become better lovers.

These five fixes on how to fix a relationship can seem trivial and easy. And that’s the whole point. Sometimes, the most complicated of knots need a small tug where it matters. And just like that, in love too, we all need a small step forward to start creating a happy relationship.

Take a baby step into knowing how to fix a relationship today, and you’ll see how much better your relationship can get in under a week, just as long as you remember these tips.

The Joys (and Tears) of Parenting My Adult Children

THE JOYS (AND TEARS) OF PARENTING MY ADULT CHILDREN

Shantel Patu

I watched as she stormed into the house. Peril, sheer peril, if you let her tell it.

She hadn’t noticed me reading, quietly in the corner, so she went about, slamming cabinets and drawers, then finally ending her assault on the kitchen by opening and staring into the fridge. I heard her mumble something about hating her job, her co-workers, her commute, and of course, her meager paycheck that she waited for each week. She was adorable.

I peered over my book and examined her. She was considered an average-sized person, about 5’7”, which was a giant to my 5’1” frame. She had these amazing, almond-shaped, bright brown eyes, which she was constantly complaining about the size and the color of, but to me and her father, they were gorgeous.

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How Do I Get Over a Broken Heart

get over a broken heart

HOW DO I GET OVER A BROKEN HEART

Team LovePanky

Ever wondered how you could get over a broken heart and walk away from it all? Break ups can hurt a lot, but you do have the power to get over a broken heart and move on if you really make up your mind… and follow these tips.

 

If you’ve read the first six points on getting over a broken heart in the introduction, you’d see how important it is to actually stick to your decision and make a conscious effort to move on from an ex lover.

Here are a few pointers that can definitely help you forget your old flame and move on to a happier life.

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How to Get Over a Broken Heart

How to Get Over a Broken Heart

HOW TO GET OVER A BROKEN HEART

Team LovePanky

Want to know how to get over a broken heart? A breakup can feel like the end of the world, but if you really do want to move on, here’s a complete guide on how to deal with a broken heart.

At some point in your life, if not already, the proverbial “shit happens”.

And all you really want to do after that is try and figure out how to get over a broken heart.

If it hasn’t already, it may soon, or you may be one of those lucky few who are able to cruise through their entire life with just one loving mate.

But to the awful tons of people who aren’t that lucky, and have broken up, or are still licking their wounds or still crying their hearts out over a dead relationship, this may be an eye-opener.

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How to deal with difficult emotions

HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS

The Gottman Institute

The key to dealing with difficult emotions like anger, confusion, fear, loneliness, and sadness is mindfulness.

Practicing mindfulness enables you to calm down and soothe yourself. When you’re calm, you have space to reflect and thoughtfully respond, rather than react.

Following these six steps will help you to understand and deal with your difficult emotions in a mindful way.

6 Steps to Mindfully Deal with Difficult Emotions

Mindfully dealing with emotions is hard and it takes time. Be kind, compassionate, and patient with yourself and your partner.

10 Things You Do That’ll Bring Your Soulmate to You

soulmate

10 THINGS YOU DO THAT’LL BRING YOUR SOULMATE TO YOU

Team LovePanky

Many of us spend all our lives searching for the perfect partner. But it can be really easy to know how to find your soulmate if you understand these tips.

We spend several years trying to find that perfect partner who can fill our lives with happiness and love.

Sometimes, we get lucky and meet the love of our lives at the very first real date.

And at other times, it takes a bit of searching and prodding.

But the truth is, there’s a soulmate for every one of us.

And there’s a great chance that they’re right around the corner and looking for love too.

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How to be Happy in Life and Live Life to the Fullest

How to be Happy in Life and Live Life to the Fullest

HOW TO BE HAPPY IN LIFE AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

Team LovePanky

Knowing how to be happy in life is a secret many can never understand. We struggle, save money and work hard just to fill our life with happiness, but can there be an easier way to understand how to be happy in life? Here’s a checklist that can change your life!

All of us want to know how to be happy in life. But we look for happiness in different ways.

And almost all the time, greed and want for luxury takes the driver’s seat in the pursuit of happiness.

And many years later, the older folk look back and realize how their pursuit of the finer things actually stopped them from enjoying the true happiness life can offer all around us.

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How to Make Yourself Happy: 20 Habits of Incredibly Happy People

how to make yourself happy

HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY: 20 HABITS OF INCREDIBLY HAPPY PEOPLE

Bella Pope

If you’re like most of us out there and feel bogged down with the struggles of life, here’s how to make yourself happy and love your life more.

I’ve been there before. We’ve all been there before. The daily mishaps in life have you down, and you’re feeling as though you’re stuck in quicksand, slowly sinking deeper into the pit of despair. It’s common for life to get difficult from time to time. But if you don’t know how to make yourself happy and pick yourself back up, you can run into trouble.

Getting stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of disappointment and internal agony is the worst thing that can happen to a person. These people usually end up depressed, unmotivated, and quite frankly, miserable to be around. But they don’t have to stay that way.

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The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Trap: An Interview with Amir Levine Part II

anxious-avoidant

THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP: AN INTERVIEW WITH AMIR LEVINE PART II

Kyle Benson

Interview Guest: Amir Levine, M.D., is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and co-author of a popular book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, which has been translated into 14 languages. You can read Part I of the interview with Dr. Levine here.

It’s important to be in a secure relationship because insecure relationships are “a recipe for a lot of pain,” according to Dr. Levine.

This doesn’t mean that partners in insecure relationships don’t love each other. They often love each other a lot. The problem is that in an anxious-avoidant relationship, there tends to be a sense of “stable instability.”

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