Understanding the source of anger

UNDERSTANDING THE SOURCE OF ANGER

Os Hillman

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”
(Proverbs 29:11)

The workplace can be a pressure-packed world. The demands that are often put on us can bring out things that we never knew were there. Sometimes we begin to think that the source of that pressure is to blame for our response to the pressure. It could be an event, a spouse, a boss, a client, a child, or even a driver who cuts us off in traffic.

I recall responding to a close friend one time, “If you had not done that, I would never have responded that way.” Later I learned that this response had little truth to it. We all choose to get angry. No one else is to blame for our anger.

“The circumstances of life, the events of life, and the people around me in life, do not make me the way I am, but reveal the way I am” [Dr. Sam Peeples].

This simple quote has had a profound impact on how I view my anger now. Anger only reveals what is inside of me. I can’t blame anyone but me for my response to a situation. I have learned that anger is only the symptom of something else that is going on inside of me. This quote now resides on my refrigerator door as a daily reminder of the truth about my response to life’s situations.

It has been said that anger is like the warning panel on the dash of your car. It is the light that tells us something is going on under the hood and we need to find out what is the source of the problem. I discovered that the source of anger is often unmet expectations or personal rights. We believe we are entitled to a particular outcome to a situation. When this doesn’t happen, it triggers something in us. At the core of this is fear, often a fear of failure or rejection, fear of what others think, fear of the unknown.

If you struggle with anger, ask God to reveal the source of that anger. Ask Him to heal you of any fears that may be the root of your anger. Ask God to help you take responsibility for your response to difficult situations.

Major causes of domestic violence in Nigeria

MAJOR CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN NIGERIA

Here are the leading causes of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE in Nigeria and most countries. The problem is quite widespread so it is better to know the main reasons, and maybe this will help to avoid such anathema at home.

Major causes of domestic violence in Nigeria

The list of domestic violence causes

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16 Abusive Relationship Signs of a Devious Lover

abusive relationship signs

16 ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SIGNS OF A DEVIOUS LOVER

Elizabeth Arthur

Are you being tricked into living with abuse by your lover? Use these 16 shocking and devious abusive relationship signs to see the veiled truth.

It usually starts with verbal abuse.

Sarcasm enters the picture.

And one day, something gets thrown at you.

An abusive relationship isn’t scary just because it hurts.

It’s scary because you’re usually tricked into it.

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Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

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Intimate Partner Violence and the #MeToo Movement

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE AND THE #METOO MOVEMENT

Mary Beth George

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault and violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Over the years, the term domestic violence has been broadened to the more accurate term, intimate partner violence, acknowledging that abuse can occur regardless of marital status, gender, or sexual orientation.

When you hear the term domestic or intimate partner violence, you probably imagine a woman with a black eye, fleeing in the middle of the night to escape her batterer. While that image is accurate, it does not capture the depth and breadth of what many women experience. It also does not bring into focus the batterer.

I should mention that while the majority of domestic violence victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect. Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey indicates that one in six men in the United States have experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, and 11% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

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The lion inside a man does not eat women

THE LION INSIDE A MAN DOES NOT EAT WOMEN

At one time a newly married young man was shouting at his 20-year-old wife. His father called him inside and said to him, “We only shout at people our threats can give fear but not the same to a woman especially the one you call your wife. The way you are shouting, you are giving away your power and she is the one you are giving it to. Your threats make her stronger.”

Most men believe that a woman is subdued when she is being threatened, but that’s a lie. Nothing is further from the truth!

Let us not be blind and still feel we have our eyes wide open. Why is it that the moment a man starts having sex, even with a 15-year-old little girl, his partner stops fearing him? If she was used to running away to hide when she saw him before then, that would stop. I will tell you something about women we have never believed.

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21 Big Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

21 Big Signs Of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking

21 BIG SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE YOU MAY BE OVERLOOKING

Natalia Avdeeva

Emotional abuse is extremely easy to overlook. Just take a look at these 21 signs of emotional abuse to see if you’re being abused instead of loved!

As humans, we’re not dumb. When someone opposes or oppresses us with emotional abuse, we’re always ready to strike back.

But what do you do when you’re manipulated just a little bit every day?

What do you do if you just don’t realize you’re being tricked and duped into abuse with sweet words of love?

What if your love for this person convinces you that you need to bend over backwards just to please them, even if that translates to emotional abuse?

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Am I in an Abusive Relationship? 17 Sure Signs!

abusive relationship

AM I IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP? 17 SURE SIGNS!

Elizabeth Arthur

Are you being abused without even realizing it? Use these self-reflecting signs to find the answer to your question, ‘Am I in an abusive relationship?’

You love your partner.

And your partner loves you.

And the world’s a beautiful place.

But what do you do when abuse finds a way to seep into your romance?

Of course, as humans, we won’t be sitting ducks just waiting to be abused by someone else.

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How to Respect Women: We’re So Glad You Want to Know This Today

how to respect women

HOW TO RESPECT WOMEN: WE’RE SO GLAD YOU WANT TO KNOW THIS TODAY

Samantha Ann

If you are wondering how to respect women, you are taking a step in the right direction. The fact that you’re worried about this at all is refreshing.

Learning how to respect women is not all that complicated. By following the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, you should be okay.

But I am also aware of how our patriarchal society has conditioned all men and even women to disrespect women for our bodies, minds, and more. So there may be times that you think you are being perfectly respectful but are in fact falling flat.

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7 Steps to Handling Conflict In Your Relationship

7 STEPS TO HANDLING CONFLICT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Darren Wilk

Conflict is normal in every type of relationship – from business to personal, and especially intimate relationships. Every couple goes through it. This is for a number of reasons including the fact that when you enter into a relationship, it isn’t just between two people. It’s between two unique personalities, shaped by unique circumstances.

Conflict can arise when we feel threatened. It’s not about physical danger but relates more to our needs, wants, desires and, most importantly, our expectations of the other person.

What Really Matters

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