Conflict is Growth Trying to Happen

CONFLICT IS GROWTH TRYING TO HAPPEN

Crystal Bradshaw

Conflict makes appearances in all relationships, successful, happy ones included. The key isn’t to avoid conflict, as many couples mistakenly try to do, it’s to navigate conflict successfully and repair as needed.

In order to do this, you only need one big shift in your current conflict strategy: Focus on the underlying emotion of the conflict.

Emotions are the result of:

what happens
AND
the story we tell ourselves about what happens.

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5 situations where a divorce is justified before God

5 SITUATIONS WHERE A DIVORCE IS JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD

Erika Strassburger

There are many reasons why someone can seek divorce without violating sacred vows made before God.

My greatest wish for couples who are facing problems in their relationship is that they are able to resolve their differences and be happy together. Unfortunately, not all marital problems are so easily conquered.

I often receive messages from readers who explain their serious and devastating problems in their marriage. I always strive to help them identify the problem, suggest ways to treat their wounds and help them rescue their love. Some situations, however, require immediate action. There are many people who need the courage to escape from their toxic relationships as soon as possible.

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5 ways to start over after the abuse has ended

5 WAYS TO START OVER AFTER THE ABUSE HAS ENDED

Danica Trebel

Betrayed by the abuse of the one person you trusted with every aspect of your life, you wonder if the day will ever come when forgiveness will replace the pain. These concepts can help you forgive your husband as well as heal in the process.

Marriage is one of life’s most sacred relationships. It’s built on love, trust and the promise of “till death do you part.” But when you’re betrayed by the abuse of the one person you trusted with every aspect of your life, you wonder if the day will ever come when forgiveness will replace the pain and the devastation you’ve suffered at the hand of your husband.

Forgiveness is choosing to release yourself from the pain, bitterness and shame of the past in order to live a happier, healthier life now. It in no way excuses the wrong you endured or requires you to stay in an unsafe situation. It does, however, have the power to reshape your perspective, your life and your marriage, and it now places that very power in your own hands.

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What I wish abused women understood

WHAT I WISH ABUSED WOMEN UNDERSTOOD

Dan Bates

As a therapist, I’ve worked with dozens of abused women and children. Here is what I want abused women to understand.

I’m a therapist who has worked with women, children, even abusers, in domestic violence and abuse (DVA) situations. These are never easy families to work with. Often I walk away from sessions feeling hopeless, and scared for the victims’ safety — but not for the reason that you think.

I don’t feel that hopelessness because the situation truly has no solution. And I don’t feel this way because the abuser really has all the power.

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How to Repair the Little Things So They Don’t Become Big Things

HOW TO REPAIR THE LITTLE THINGS SO THEY DON’T BECOME BIG THINGS

John Grey

All couples argue. Happy couples argue well. They have strategies for dealing with their inevitable disagreements, and they process their feelings so they don’t bottle up.

We know from Dr. Gottman’s research that both partners in a relationship are emotionally available only 9% of the time. This leaves 91% of our relationship ripe for miscommunication.

The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is not that happy couples don’t make mistakes. We all hurt our partner’s feelings. The difference is that happy couples repair, and they do so early and often.

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Domestic Violence: The Untold Story of Engr. Chinyere Sylvia Akaleme

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF ENGR. CHINYERE SYLVIA AKALEME (NEE IGBO)

The menace of Domestic Violence in Nigeria and its implications on the families of the victims

LATE ENGR. SYLVIA CHINYERE AKALEME

Unfortunately for Sylvia, or Chinyere as she was fondly called by family and close friends, she did not live to tell her own story. She was cut down in her prime by her husband, OBINNA AKALEME, the man she loved till death did them part. She died on the day she was due to give birth after a series of miscarriages in her husband’s house.

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If you answer yes to these 11 questions, you’ve experienced emotional abuse (and possibly haven’t realized it)

If you answer yes to these 11 questions, you’ve experienced emotional abuse (and possibly haven’t realized it)

Wendy Jessen

It can be so subtle, you may not realize it’s happening. But emotional abuse is never OK.

We all hope for healthy relationships throughout our lives, but that doesn’t always happen. Too many people are emotionally abused by parents, siblings, significant others or friends.

It’s often subtle, with the victim (and even the abuser) not realizing it’s happening.

Emotional abuse is more than having a fight and exchanging words you didn’t mean. It can also be more damaging than physical abuse.

According to Psychology Today, “Emotional abuse undercuts a person’s foundational self-confidence and love of self and replaces them with confusion about self-worth, value, justice, mercy, and love.” Emotional abuse, also called mental or psychological abuse, can be aggressive or passive. It can be tricky to identify in your own relationships, but these questions can help:

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Why I never talked about my abusive arranged marriage

Domestic Abuse - Let's talk about it | Bonobology

WHY I NEVER TALKED ABOUT MY ABUSIVE ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Mira Soni

Why did she, and millions of other women remain in abusive marriages? How can she put it behind her?

Recently, I spent a whole night watching YouTube interviews of victims who have suffered/are suffering from domestic violence. At that time I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing. But I wanted to hear those who’ve had similar lives to mine.

They’ve all suffered to different degrees and at different stages in their relationship. They all had different but equally painful stories to share. At the end of each conversation, the host of the show asks them, “Why would you allow all those wrong things to happen to you? Why didn’t you seek any help?” Most of them didn’t even share their sufferings with anybody. The host asks if they were too ashamed of what happened or of themselves, or was it because they feel no one would understand them? They all replied differently, but none of them knew precisely why.

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Only A Man Who Doesn’t Love Himself Mistreats A Woman Who Loves Him

ONLY A MAN WHO DOESN’T LOVE HIMSELF MISTREATS A WOMAN WHO LOVES HIM

Don’t take it personally.

Remember back in elementary school when parents or teachers talked to us about bullies? We all got a lesson on how to handle being picked on and what not to do, but the most important thing we learned was that it wasn’t really about us at all.

The bully who claims to hate you so much really don’t care about you that much. All the teasing and the put-downs don’t have anything to do with you and everything to do with the bully.

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Have I lost my wife to another man?

Image result for picture of a black couple holding hands

HAVE I LOST MY WIFE TO ANOTHER MAN?

Dave and Clara have been married for over nine years without children. They stayed with each other and hoped that they would have a child before their 10th anniversary because they were being persuaded by family and some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t let go because of the love they shared.

Months passed by and, while Dave was returning from work one day, he saw his wife walking down the road with a man, and they looked quite happy.

Another evening, while Dave was coming back from work, he saw the same man drop her off at the house. Dave became sad and angry.

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