DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF ENGR. CHINYERE SYLVIA AKALEME (NEE IGBO)
The menace of Domestic Violence in Nigeria and its implications on the families of the victims
LATE ENGR. SYLVIA CHINYERE AKALEME
Unfortunately for Sylvia, or Chinyere as she was fondly called by family and close friends, she did not live to tell her own story. She was cut down in her prime by her husband, OBINNA AKALEME, the man she loved till death did them part. She died on the day she was due to give birth after a series of miscarriages in her husband’s house.
If you answer yes to these 11 questions, you’ve experienced emotional abuse (and possibly haven’t realized it)
It can be so subtle, you may not realize it’s happening. But emotional abuse is never OK.
We all hope for healthy relationships throughout our lives, but that doesn’t always happen. Too many people are emotionally abused by parents, siblings, significant others or friends.
It’s often subtle, with the victim (and even the abuser) not realizing it’s happening.
Emotional abuse is more than having a fight and exchanging words you didn’t mean. It can also be more damaging than physical abuse.
According to Psychology Today, “Emotional abuse undercuts a person’s foundational self-confidence and love of self and replaces them with confusion about self-worth, value, justice, mercy, and love.” Emotional abuse, also called mental or psychological abuse, can be aggressive or passive. It can be tricky to identify in your own relationships, but these questions can help:
WHY I NEVER TALKED ABOUT MY ABUSIVE ARRANGED MARRIAGE
Why did she, and millions of other women remain in abusive marriages? How can she put it behind her?
Recently, I spent a whole night watching YouTube interviews of victims who have suffered/are suffering from domestic violence. At that time I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing. But I wanted to hear those who’ve had similar lives to mine.
They’ve all suffered to different degrees and at different stages in their relationship. They all had different but equally painful stories to share. At the end of each conversation, the host of the show asks them, “Why would you allow all those wrong things to happen to you? Why didn’t you seek any help?” Most of them didn’t even share their sufferings with anybody. The host asks if they were too ashamed of what happened or of themselves, or was it because they feel no one would understand them? They all replied differently, but none of them knew precisely why.
HAVE I LOST MY WIFE TO ANOTHER MAN?
Dave and Clara have been married for over nine years without children. They stayed with each other and hoped that they would have a child before their 10th anniversary because they were being persuaded by family and some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t let go because of the love they shared.
Months passed by and, while Dave was returning from work one day, he saw his wife walking down the road with a man, and they looked quite happy.
Another evening, while Dave was coming back from work, he saw the same man drop her off at the house. Dave became sad and angry.
A Message on Domestic Violence by a Former Victim Mary Gilliam
DAISY MY DAUGHTER
Please read and understand that domestic violence must be exposed and stopped!
Daisy was born beautiful. Her mother received her with misty eyes. She felt so proud. After three boys, Manny was beginning to doubt his ability to make a female baby. And now along came Daisy from his loins. He’s a complete man, after all. Right?
There was so much to eat and drink at the naming ceremony of Daisy. She got a name from every member of the family. Quite a list but the one other name that stuck was the one her paternal grandmother gave her, Gift.
How does one approach this kind of premeditated murder attempt? I thought there was a limit to domestic violence. Hasn’t this crossed the boundary?
IF ONE OF THESE 16 TWEETS DESCRIBES YOUR RELATIONSHIP, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY
Do you feel loved? It’s normal to have disagreements with your spouse, but are those fights filled with belittling, guilt tripping and manipulating?
Does your spouse make you feel like no one else would want to be around you because you are ugly or obnoxious?
If so, there is something you need to understand immediately: you are so worth loving.
You might not feel that now, but in time, you can.
Even if he doesn’t hit you, your husband (or wife) can still be abusive.
When writer Zahira Kelly opened a conversation about how utterly destructive emotional abuse is, Twitter exploded with support and insight into the life of those who deal with emotional abuse every day.
Although abusive men in heterosexual relationships were the target of most of these tweets, abuse can happen to anyone. If any of these apply to you, get help immediately.