THE STORY OF US: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPY AND UNHAPPY COUPLES
Every relationship is bound in the pages of stories. There’s the chapter when you sat alone in a romantic restaurant because John was late for date night. Or the countless nights your wife puts on her “no sex” sweatpants to tell you she’s off limits.
Our lives and our relationships are constantly narrated by the storyteller of our minds. This narrator is either going to write a miserable love memoir, or the best damn romantic novel in existence (despite the dark times).
All relationships, happy and miserable, experience regrettable incidents. According to John Gottman, 90% of the time couples misunderstand one another, leaving the plot of love ripe for a dark tale. I’m not talking about the 50 Shades of Grey dark tale; I’m talking about the story that no one wants to read.
A LETTER TO MY HUSBAND: I WISH I WERE THE WIFE YOU NEEDED
Marriage can be wonderful and awfully messy.
It wasn’t until we got married that I realized how selfish I am. How unloving I tend to be. My thoughts are not always for you. Although it sounds beautiful to be called your wife, I feel I am not deserving of the title.
A wife is to be patient
I tend to talk all over you instead of waiting for a response. I tend to push you along so that I can get to where I want to be. I can’t stand the silence of you thinking because I can’t wait long enough for you to speak. I have agendas for each day and get upset when things don’t go my way, when things aren’t done.
10 WAYS A WOMAN CAN GRAB THE ATTENTION OF THE MAN SHE LOVES
Need some ideas to grab your man’s attention? Here are 10.
Are things getting a little bit stale in your relationship with the man you love? Try using one of these quick tips for grabbing his attention and shaking things up a bit!
- Be physical
I’m talking about actually physically touching him. Give him a massage, hold his hand, rub his back. All these simple physical touches will make him stop and relax a bit as he tells you about his day, or while you make plans for the night.
5 SITUATIONS WHERE A DIVORCE IS JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD
There are many reasons why someone can seek divorce without violating sacred vows made before God.
My greatest wish for couples who are facing problems in their relationship is that they are able to resolve their differences and be happy together. Unfortunately, not all marital problems are so easily conquered.
I often receive messages from readers who explain their serious and devastating problems in their marriage. I always strive to help them identify the problem, suggest ways to treat their wounds and help them rescue their love. Some situations, however, require immediate action. There are many people who need the courage to escape from their toxic relationships as soon as possible.
COUPLES WHOSE LOVE LASTS FOREVER AGREE ON THESE 6 THINGS FROM THE BEGINNING
Here are 6 things couples who last need to agree on right from the beginning.
Everyone feels butterflies and a warm glow in the beginning stages of a relationship. Love is easy to get off the ground, but it takes some planning to keep things from falling back down to earth.
If you really want your love to last, it needs to start out on the right foot. Here are six things successful people do in the beginning of their relationships:
5 REASONS I DESPERATELY NEED MY HUSBAND
I loved being a single lady and basking in its freedom. However, once I married, that all changed.
My husband ruined me. Yes, he completely ruined me. Growing up, I was quite the independent girl. I could stay all alone overnight without grasping a baseball bat at every little sound. I was even able to put together a bookshelf all by myself – with tools. However, once I married, I began to rely on my husband for so many things that I use to do myself. Even after five years of marriage, those feelings haven’t changed. In fact, I realize I need him more than ever.
Here are five reasons why I desperately need my husband and why you probably need yours as well.
DEFENSIVENESS DOESN’T PROTECT A RELATIONSHIP
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.
Taylor: You never make love to me anymore. (Criticism)
Sophia: Well, you never take me out on dates. (Defensiveness)
When I see couples like Tyler and Sophia act defensive towards each other, it makes me smile. They have yet to realize they just want more out of each other.
TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS IS BUILT AND BROKEN IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATION
Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Intimacy: See Fear, The opposite of.
Well, not really. Not entirely. Fear was taken from the reality of Merriam-Webster. Intimacy was taken from the reality of human relationships. But, ultimately, it’s true – when we are afraid of the consequences, we cannot trust our partners to listen to or fully support us. When we are anxious about their reception, it’s terrifying to consider revealing our deepest feelings, hopes, or dreams.
And why should we make ourselves completely vulnerable when we are afraid? Our internal wiring does its best to prevent us from opening our hearts to those we fear will hurt us emotionally, let us down, or leave us, and this – in the language of evolutionary psychology – may be called an adaptive trait! It’s healthy. We need to protect ourselves!
HOW STRONG IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP? TAKE THE QUIZ…
This quiz will determine if you and your partner truly meet each other’s needs.
Healthy and happy relationships despite setbacks or problems are built on a sturdy foundation of trust that keeps love strong. The secret to lasting love can be answered in one simple question: When shit happens, can you talk to each other and truly listen?
Does your partner stop and listen when you are hurting? Or do they say, “You’re acting needy. Stop being such a baby. Grow up.”
I’M LETTING MY WIFE GO
Seth Adam Smith
If you truly love someone, have the faith to “let them go.”
I’m sure it may come as a shock to some people, but I let my wife go. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but it was the right thing for the both of us.
No, we’re not getting a divorce and no, we’re not separating. Truth be told, the practice of “letting go” has actually brought us closer together. But in order to understand what I mean by “letting go,” you must first understand that Kim and I are two very different people.