WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER
I was at a conference this weekend where it was once again reiterated to me how impactful our attachment in our early relationships is on our current relationships. When we talk about “attachment,” we usually mean how safe and connected we feel to our partner (or friend, or parent, etc.). What the research has shown over the years is that our attachment style is mostly dictated by the relationship we had with our parents when we were little, but it can change as we have new relationship experiences throughout our lives. There are a few main attachment styles that I want to unpack today, because I think they’re often misunderstood and this misunderstanding can cause major problems in relationships.
When you meet someone with a secure attachment style, they probably grew up with a steady flow of comfort, validation, empathy, and love from their parents and family. These are the people who aren’t too anxious, but aren’t scared of relationships either.
7 ENHANCING LOVEMAKING CONVERSATIONS FOR COUPLES
Lovemaking in a monogamous relationship is said to be heart-pounding, breath-taking, and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us settle for the same sexual positions?
Far too often, spouses become “too important” for experimenting in the bedroom. This takes the mysterious element of sex between two people and puts our wild erotic nature into a jar that will never be opened again.
Sometimes partners stop putting in the effort to seduce their partner. They assume the ring on the finger means they don’t have to try; that a wedding band means you’ll be turned on by me, no matter what I do or how I look. You’ll love me till death do us part.
WHY COUPLES STOP HAVING SEX: THE PARADOX OF YES IN SAYING NO
Sexual desire is leaving the American bedroom faster than a Kansas tornado will rip apart a house.
Long-term relationships, far too often, experience a dwindling sex life. “Experts” often blame the coals of passion on women; their vanishing libido post-marriage. Their keen focus on raising the little ones while ignoring the man next to them.
The lack of female desire is a profitable industry. Thousands of books, full of “theories” on why women lose desire, fill bookstores. Meanwhile drug companies with pills like Addyi are “closing the gap” with a Viagra like pill for women.
A Message From a Woman to All Men
WHEN MEN STEP IN…
My husband has a way of settling issues or quarrels among our children which works perfectly and amazes me. Well, I’m blessed to be married to a very wise man. Let me share some of his tips and hope that they will help you.
My children, especially the youngest two, always fight over things like pencils, crayons, cups, plates, teddy bears, etc. I thought the solution was to buy for everyone – and that was what I did. I felt that if everyone had their own fighting would cease, as well as that disturbing cry of children when they are fighting for something. To my amazement and bewilderment, however, the fights continued and, in fact, escalated as one child would misplace his red pencil and would cry for the other person’s yellow pencil. I was practising law in the house, playing solicitor and judge at the same time. Sometimes it can be so depressing.
One day my husband just got up and announced, “From now going forward, all the pencils, erasers, crayons, teddy bears, cups, plates and toys in this house belong to me, and whoever wants to use any should take permission from me, period!”
A GOOD HUSBAND ACCEPTS HIS MISTAKES
What does it mean to be a good husband?
This was the question posed to a group of men at a recent men’s workshop. The focus of the workshop was men and intimacy. But a theme emerged about how men in committed relationships can be better husbands and partners.
“What does it even mean to be a good husband?” one man asked the group.
The answers to this and similar questions became the focus of the entire day. Clearly working on how to be abetter husband was central for these men.
6 ARGUMENTS ALL MARRIED COUPLES HAVE
In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman lists the 6 most common areas of marital conflict. He explains that, “even in very happy and stable marriages, these issues are perennial.” We will touch on these six types of arguments, the task they each represent for a marriage, and offer practical advice for addressing the solvable disagreements they often trigger.
Remember that all couples argue, and that’s okay. We grow in our relationships by reconciling our differences. That’s how we become more loving people and truly experience the fruits of marriage.
MY FATHER IS THE BEST MOTHER ON EARTH
He was watering the plants in the posh gardens of an international school. The heat and dust didn’t seem to affect him.
“Ganga Das, Principal Ma’am wants to see you – right now.”
The last two words of the peon had lots of emphasis on them, trying to make it sound like an emergency.
He quickly got up, washed and wiped his hands and headed towards the principal’s chamber. The walk from the garden to the office seemed never-ending. His heart was almost jumping out of his chest.
WHY MEN CHANGE FOR WOMEN
Men who have low self-esteem tend to perceive themselves with low value. They lack strong core values because they are constantly seeking approval. These are the kind of men who struggle to maintain the status quo. They feel the need to meet everyone else’s metric in order to feel valued. They believe that without acceptance, there is no value.
When one lacks the belief that they are high value, it creates an inferiority gap. This sets the values of others on a pedestal, and deeming them more important. As a result, these guys are liable to get run over by others.
When one feels like they are low value, they’re likely to base their feelings of success and worthiness on how well they meet the needs of others, instead of their own. Even though the entire idea of it is to gain others’ approval, this needy behavior actually repels others. Not to mention that it invites all sorts of problems into one’s life.
6 THINGS A MAN IS ONLY WILLING TO DO FOR THE WOMAN HE REALLY LOVES
When a man loves a woman, nothing will stop him from doing these 6 things.
It was a few weeks after my incredible wedding to my wonderful husband that I started to worry about everything under the sun.
With all the pressure of becoming a wife, going to my first semester of college full-time and learning how to live with another person, my mental health decreased to the point where I was having full-blown panic attacks over the silliest things.
My anxiety got so bad that some nights I would just cry for no reason at all. I couldn’t stop, either. Sometimes, it was sort of a laugh-cry because I was laughing at myself for crying.