Is Love Really a Choice?

IS LOVE REALLY A CHOICE?

Aaron & April Jacob

Once upon a time Dr. Stephen R. Covey told a story about a man he met at a seminar. It’s a fascinating story and suggests something bold and beautiful about marriage that we think you’re going to like.

Listen up:

“At one seminar, after I’d spoken on the importance of demonstrating character within the family, a man came up and said, ‘I like what you’re saying, but my wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other that we used to. I guess we don’t love each other anymore. What can I do?

“‘Love her,’ I replied.

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Taking Your Spouse’s Emotional Temperature

TAKING YOUR SPOUSE’S EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE

Nurturing Marriage

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Call it sensitivity, call it being “in touch,” call it whatever you want – this small action will make a massive difference in the quality of your marriage.  It’s pretty self-explanatory. If you want to be close to your spouse, you should take your their emotional temperature, daily.

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Play (Emotional) Doctor 

Doctors greet patients (for well or sick visits) by asking questions, taking vital signs, (including a temperature), and making sure that their patients are okay.  As husband and wife, it would be wise to play the role of emotional doctor for your spouse from time to time.

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What You Don’t Understand About Your Emotionally Unavailable Partner

WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER

I was at a conference this weekend where it was once again reiterated to me how impactful our attachment in our early relationships is on our current relationships. When we talk about “attachment,” we usually mean how safe and connected we feel to our partner (or friend, or parent, etc.). What the research has shown over the years is that our attachment style is mostly dictated by the relationship we had with our parents when we were little, but it can change as we have new relationship experiences throughout our lives. There are a few main attachment styles that I want to unpack today, because I think they’re often misunderstood and this misunderstanding can cause major problems in relationships.

Secure Attachment

When you meet someone with a secure attachment style, they probably grew up with a steady flow of comfort, validation, empathy, and love from their parents and family. These are the people who aren’t too anxious, but aren’t scared of relationships either.

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Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

CHRONIC STONEWALLING IMPRISONS A RELATIONSHIP

Kyle Benson

Stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?
“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy, daddy, watch me.”

But what happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive? The child will experience distress.

It doesn’t matter if you are 5 months old or 45 years. There are still two basic responses to an unavailable attachment figure.

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7 Enhancing Lovemaking Conversations for Couples

7 ENHANCING LOVEMAKING CONVERSATIONS FOR COUPLES

Kyle Benson

Lovemaking in a monogamous relationship is said to be heart-pounding, breath-taking, and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us settle for the same sexual positions?

Far too often, spouses become “too important” for experimenting in the bedroom. This takes the mysterious element of sex between two people and puts our wild erotic nature into a jar that will never be opened again.

Sometimes partners stop putting in the effort to seduce their partner. They assume the ring on the finger means they don’t have to try; that a wedding band means you’ll be turned on by me, no matter what I do or how I look. You’ll love me till death do us part.

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Why Couples Stop Having Sex: The Paradox Of Yes In Saying No

WHY COUPLES STOP HAVING SEX: THE PARADOX OF YES IN SAYING NO

Kyle Benson

Sexual desire is leaving the American bedroom faster than a Kansas tornado will rip apart a house.

Long-term relationships, far too often, experience a dwindling sex life. “Experts” often blame the coals of passion on women; their vanishing libido post-marriage. Their keen focus on raising the little ones while ignoring the man next to them.

The lack of female desire is a profitable industry. Thousands of books, full of “theories” on why women lose desire, fill bookstores. Meanwhile drug companies with pills like Addyi are “closing the gap” with a Viagra like pill for women.

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One little thing your relationship could use more of

ONE LITTLE THING YOUR RELATIONSHIP COULD USE MORE OF

Nurturing Marriage

The one thing your relationship could use more of is affection.

Yes, affection.

Affection is a good thing for your relationship.

A very good thing.

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5 secrets to make him crazy for you

5 SECRETS TO MAKE HIM CRAZY FOR YOU

Suely Buriasco

It’s easier than you think to seduce your husband.

Intimate relationships are very important in a couple’s life. Besides being able to create children, sex generally brings couples closer together and improves better understanding between each spouse.

It is important for men and women to understand the differences in feelings and actions each gender has when it comes to sex. This article specifically deals with how men handle sex, and in return, how women can keep them interested, even after years of marriage.

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5 Habits of Emotionally Wealthy Marriages

5 HABITS OF EMOTIONALLY WEALTHY MARRIAGES

Kyle Benson

emotional bank accountIt turns out the number one thing couples fight about is nothing.

This not-so-earth-shattering discovery was made in Dr. Gottman’s Love Lab after spending more than 40 years studying over 3,000 couples. These couples were not arguing about specific topics like sex, money, or in-laws. They were fighting about the failure to connect emotionally.

Every couple has what Dr. Gottman calls an Emotional Bank Account. When we turn towards our partner’s bids for connection, we make a deposit. When we turn away, we make a withdrawal. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble.

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Couples who do these 4 things together are happier, according to experts

COUPLES WHO DO THESE 4 THINGS TOGETHER ARE HAPPIER, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS

McKenna Park

The little choices you make every day within your marriage determine your overall marital happiness. Research from psychologists and family experts show that there are specific things blissfully happy couples do that struggling couples don’t.

Some study results might seem like common sense, but it’s definitely interesting to see which factors are scientifically proven to make marriages happier.

Share laughter

If you and your partner laugh a ton together, there’s good news in store for you. According to a marriage study, couples who share more genuine laughter together are closer.

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