20 Lifestyle Changes to Make in Your 20s for a Better Life

20 LIFESTYLE CHANGES TO MAKE IN YOUR 20S FOR A BETTER LIFE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

Your 20s: the perfect balance between being young and energetic, and being practical and worldly wise. It’s the perfect time to make a change!

Your 20s can make you or break you. It contains some of the most exciting years of your life. You are just starting out your career, and you’re either building debt or building an empire. And although this decade can feel like you’re independent and consequence-free, how you spend your life in your 20s will have a huge impact on your life. What you do in this decade matters and may just determine your best shot at success and happiness.

In your 20s, you can experiment with so many things, party all night, go out on dates, travel the globe, and basically be a free bird. And although it’s not bad to enjoy being at the prime of your youth or working for your retirement, there are actually many things that you can do to make the most of your 20s.

Smart lifestyle changes you should be making in your 20s

Below are 20 of the top smart moves you need to make in your 20s that will pay off for the rest of your life.

#1 Travel. Invest in memories and experiences. This is the ideal time because you are young, able, and you have no family obligations. Use your time to meet different people and immerse yourself in different cultures.

#2 Don’t obsess over money. It is understandable to want to live comfortably later on in life, but don’t make your 20s so much about money that the decade passes you by. If you want to take risks or go after things that you are passionate about, then this is the best time. Think of money as a result of your hard work and not as your goal, and you can breathe easy enough to go out there and live a little.

#3 Think of one golden rule: save. Although you should not let money be your sole motivator, this doesn’t mean you should throw financial sensibility out the window. You can party, travel, and shop if you want, but be sure to set aside some extra cash *at least 10% of your income* for your rainy day fund.

#4 Be active. Despite your busy lifestyle, it helps to be active because of two things: you have something else to do other than race after work deadlines, and you are preventing your body from developing heart problems, obesity, diabetes, and other diseases. By squeezing some exercise into your schedule, you have a reason to wake up early and say “no” to that late night party invite every once in a while.

#5 Take care of your teeth. You may not notice it, but reality is, you’re stuck with the same teeth for the rest of your life. It’s not a house that you can skip maintenance on because you can move out anytime—your teeth are yours, and they’re not going anywhere. So even if it costs a lot of money and you think you don’t need it, take care of your teeth now while you can before repairing years of neglect becomes more expensive.

#6 Protect your skin. So your face is supple, you have no wrinkles, and you still have that healthy glow of youth. But you can’t seriously believe it will stay that way forever. Unless the fountain of youth has been discovered, you have to protect your skin. Don’t sleep with makeup on, and more importantly, wear sunscreen.

#7 Develop healthy eating habits. Make conscious beverage decisions that will lessen the negative effects alcoholic drinks bring to your body. Alcohol is, after all, a toxin. So drink wisely and in moderation, and always rehydrate to avoid a raging hangover. As for food, you know that junk food will only bring even more toxins into your body. Tone down your processed food intake, and try to include healthier, more natural food options into your diet.

#8 Lessen your tech ties. Twenty-somethings are known to be highly dependent on their gadgets. If you’re one of those people, learn to put your phone down and make real people-to-people connections.

#9 Set your standards. When you’re young, flirty, and carefree, it can be easy to fall victim to the charms of partners who end up doing nothing for you. Learn from the dating mistakes of your past, and never settle for partners who will only hold you back from living a full life.

#10 Forgive yourself and others. You will make mistakes, and you may learn this the hard way. Accept the fact that there are things you can’t control, such as rejection or heartbreak. Don’t let this embitter you, and instead, learn from this and grow.

#11 Don’t waste your time on drama. You’re all grown up, and you know what you want, so you shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you think you deserve. Cut off people and situations that drain you of your energy. Your time and energy are better off spent on productivity and growth than drama and misery.

#12 Build courage and face your fears. You are young, and you are in the best shape that you can be. The world is your oyster. So if you are ever going to try something daring, now is the best time.

#13 Be less busy and more productive. In other words, learn to manage your time before you run around like a headless chicken. Don’t spread yourself too thin over things that are unnecessary, but instead, keep your laser focus on being effective and get more done in half the time.

#14 Set goals and learn to prioritize. You’re just starting out in your career, so you may think that your responsibilities are still ahead of you. Nope. You should set your goals as early as now, and from here on, take small steps in achieving them.

#15 Learn and learn and learn. Whether it’s baking classes or management lessons, take some time to learn new skills. Before you even think about starting a family and having your hands full, start a hobby or try something new.

#16 Invest in self-awareness and self-knowledge. This is the best time to find yourself and to know what you want and what makes you happy. Learn new things about yourself every day and seize every opportunity to grow.

#17 Stop comparing yourself to others. Who cares if your friend has bought a new house or your colleague already got a promotion? You can’t measure yourself against others, or else you’re never going to appreciate yourself and what you have. Be proud of who you are, and create your own story.

#18 Know what is right from wrong. You’re not a child anymore, so put away childish habits. While it’s okay to make mistakes, take responsibility for your actions. Learn to apologize for what you have done, and learn how you can make amends for actions that have caused others pain, and that includes the environment!

#19 Appreciate true friends. Through the course of your life, you will come across different kinds of people. Some will be genuine, while some will try to use you. Don’t waste time on people who will bring you down in the end. Appreciate the people who are there for you, and value their friendship.

#20 Slow down. You may be busy juggling your career, getting started living your independent life, sorting out your messy dating life, and simply enjoying being a twenty-something—but don’t forget to just stop, take a deep breath, and slow down. Success and happiness aren’t races to be won. You have to live your life at your own pace.

Your 20s can be the most exciting decade of your life. During this time, you’ll meet new people, learn new things about yourself, and really open your eyes to the wonders *and pitfalls* of the adult world. You only have 10 years to be a carefree, energetic twenty-something, so shouldn’t you make these 10 eye-opening years count?

While these lifestyle changes may be helpful and insightful, the best way to go through your 20s is to be kind to yourself and to others, make time for what you love, appreciate what you have, and be prepared for the future.

18 Ways to Have High Self-Esteem and Start Winning at Life

18 WAYS TO HAVE HIGH SELF-ESTEEM AND START WINNING AT LIFE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

It’s normal to feel down once in a while, but constant negativity isn’t healthy. Use these tips to have high self-esteem and feel better about yourself.

Having low self-esteem can have a significant impact on virtually every aspect of your life, including your job, relationships, and your mental and physical health. However, the secret to have high self-esteem is not so hard to figure out.

High self-esteem comes from developing a positive self-worth and outlook. This is something you have to proactively build within yourself. There are many ways you can build your own self-esteem little by little. What’s important is that you stay consistent, but not beat yourself up for failing once in a while.

Tips to have high self-esteem

If you suffer from low self-esteem, try to make it a priority in your life to foster positive feelings about yourself. Starting with some of these tips for high self-esteem can be helpful.

#1 Have a vision. Form an image of yourself as the confident, self-assured person you want to be. Often, it all just starts with your mindset. If you believe you can be a confident person with high self-esteem, that’s exactly how you will begin to come off to others as well.

#2 Set realistic goals. It’s not enough that you have dreams and aspirations. You have to set realistic goals that you know you can achieve within a specified timeframe. Practice writing down clear and actionable goals for the day, and don’t forget to set long-term goals, too. This gives you a target to hit, and boy does it feel good when you can actually cross those items off of your list!

#3 Have a plan and follow through. Now that you have goals, the next step is to draw yourself a roadmap for how you will achieve those goals. Planning helps you keep your eye on the prize, so to speak. Otherwise, you may wander off, become sidetracked, or lose your motivation.

#4 Think about yourself in a positive light. Be positive about yourself and the world around you. Don’t dwell on the bad things that are happening or worry about the unpleasant things that could happen. Focus on the here and now and appreciate what you have instead of focusing on what you lack.

#5 Appreciate yourself. If you want to have high self-esteem, make it a habit to give yourself that figurative pat on the back on a regular basis. Even spending just a few moments every day to appreciate yourself can make a huge difference to your mood and to your self-esteem. Think about the people you’ve helped that day, what you’ve accomplished, and the other things that you can thank yourself for.

#6 Silence your inner critic. That voice inside your head that says you’re not good enough can be loud and persistent at times, especially for those who have low self-esteem. Guess what—you don’t need that in your life. Stop putting yourself down, and if there’s one inner voice you should listen to, it’s that one that says, “You’re great and you can do great things!”

#7 Say no to comparisons. Avoid comparing yourself to others. You will always find someone who is better or worse than you, but it’s not a healthy habit for your self-esteem to constantly compare. Celebrate what makes you unique and just look straight ahead with your goals in mind.

#8 Perfection is a myth. Doing things well is highly commendable. However, try to avoid striving for perfection. It is an impossible goal to accomplish. Instead, if you want to have high self-esteem, focus on giving your best in every situation and every task. Also, celebrate your imperfections, as those are what make you unique.

#9 Exercise and be active. Exercise can do wonders to your body, mind, and self-esteem. It releases feel-good endorphins to your brain. Furthermore, it keeps you fit so you feel good about yourself inside and out.

#10 Everyone makes mistakes. Even with the best of intentions, people still make mistakes, so don’t beat yourself up whenever you commit them. Just learn from it and move on. If an apology is in order, be genuine, but don’t let anyone beat you up over mistakes that you take responsibility for.

#11 Focus on what you can change. Stop stressing over the things that you can’t control. Instead, focus on what you can change. Do your best to make your situation better, and believe in yourself and your capabilities.

#12 Make peace with what you can’t change. Now, as for the things that are beyond your control, it is best to make peace with them. There’s no use worrying about these things. Don’t waste your time and energy obsessing over anything that’s clearly beyond your control. Instead, focus your energy on making a positive impact in your life and the lives of others.

#13 Do things that you enjoy doing. Those who do the things that they love and enjoy are happier than those who just go through their days doing something they dislike. So if you’re given the choice, spend your time doing what you love to do.

#14 Do something you’re good at. It’s not enough that you’re doing what you love. You should also do something that you know you’re good at so you have a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. This reinforces your strengths and abilities because you can see for yourself that you are highly productive, your efforts are going somewhere, and you can see the results.

#15 Celebrate your triumphs, however small. All great things start from small beginnings and taking baby steps. So don’t be afraid if your triumphs don’t seem to make much of an impact. You are working your way towards your goal, and those little things can add up in no time.

#16 Help others. It’s always fulfilling to be of service to others. Being there for others, even just to brighten up their day with a sincere smile, is enough to put you in a good mood and make you stand a little taller. If nothing good is happening in your life, then be the good thing to happen to others.

#17 Be around supportive people. Birds of the same feather flock together. So if you want to keep your self-esteem up, be around those who have high self-esteem, too. Furthermore, be in the constant company of people who give you constructive criticism and support.

#18 Avoid those who put you down. Avoid negative people like the plague if you want to have high self-esteem. They are energy vampires who will also try to bring you down. Even the people with the highest, healthiest self-esteem can find themselves drained when around negative people.Self-esteem comes from self-determination and self-discipline. Mind your thoughts and interactions with others and the world around you. The more power you have over yourself to think the right thoughts and take the right steps, the more self-esteem you’ll have. And the higher self-esteem you have, the better the quality of life you will live.

Prayers with and for Your Child

PRAYERS WITH AND FOR YOUR CHILD

Experience Hope eDevotional

All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.─ Isaiah 54:13

As a parent or grandparent focused on God’s intentions for our lives, it’s vitally important to pray for and with each of our children or grandchildren every day. There is something that happens when we stop and pray with our kids. It should be more than a quick prayer over dinner or a bedtime prayer. We’re talking about really spending time in prayer for them and with them. 

For those of us who grew up in Christian homes, most of us prayed at the table before meals. Many parents tried to be consistent to pray with the kids every night when they’d put the children to bed too, but prayer should go deeper than that.
 
We need to spend more time with them praying that:

  • They would seek to know God through His Word.
  • They would seek God’s will and leading for their lives.
  • They would experience God – not only know Him – but truly experience Him.
  • As they grow up they would make decisions that would honor Him. 

Imagine what kind of difference it could make in the lives of our children and grandchildren if we developed a habit in our lives to pray with and for them. That one, simple, intentional decision could completely transform our families.

Today’s One Thing

Make a commitment to pray with and for each one of your children (or grandchildren) every day for the next 30 days.  

Go Deeper With Intentional Living

Leading Your Children God’s Way


Raising Exceptional Families with Special Needs Children

RAISING EXCEPTIONAL FAMILIES WITH SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN

Lisa Pinhorn

It’s a given: parenting is hard work. But when you’re raising a child with special needs, the level of care and stress is not just higher—it shifts the foundations of families and adds unimaginable complexities for everyone involved.

Physical disabilities, learning disabilities, illness, Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, OCD, and Developmental Trauma are parenting game changers. At Feeding Futures, we work in the world of exceptional families, so we know all too well how chaotic things can become when you’re caring for a child with special needs. It sounds stressful because it is, and words don’t even begin to do it justice. I know because I’ve lived it.

When my daughter’s Autism diagnosis came, I was new to being a single parent. My emotional reaction was neither pretty nor graceful. Not long after came the news that she also had extreme anxiety and debilitating OCD. The grief that came with each doctor visit was very real. During the slow process of adjusting to a new normal, I became a warrior. And after six years of fighting, I needed a new way forward.

Nobody can prepare you for the emotions that come with parenting special needs children, especially as a single parent. It is full of questions, self-doubt, and eventual acceptance of your situation—a path that should never be seen as a straight line. Each new challenge for my child can trigger old emotions that send me back into the grief cycle, which is full of negative thoughts and less than ideal coping strategies.

What I eventually learned is that I had to make a plan, because at the end of the day, I had a very special child who needed me.

A New Normal for Special Needs

In my work with families, I see special needs parents scrambling to adjust to their new and unexpected role as a healthcare manager for their child. They are prepared to be the catalyst needed to provide an overall positive quality of life for their family, but many are never told how.

Sadly, families receive little instruction on how to best meet the needs of their children without feeding the already toxic levels of extreme family stress. The stress within special needs households is a topic we can no longer ignore.

Here is what I know to be missing in our special needs world: parental self-care. And not normal self-care. We need deep, even radical, self-compassion practices. We are all so concerned about the deficits of our children that no one is looking at the emotional crisis happening in the lives of the parents and overall family.

As parents of special needs children, we need to add ourselves back to the family care list. We actually need to be number one on the list, but I know that’s not always possible for special needs parents. So, if your self-care needs can’t sit at the head of the family care table, you at least need a seat.

Think back to the day the diagnosis came. Were you told to prepare for the grief, recognize your personal stress levels, and strengthen your family relationships as part of your child’s care? Or did you immediately start driving your child to one specialist after another and line up for pharmaceuticals?

These are two very different approaches on many levels. One is void of parental self-care while the other puts parental self-compassion as a necessary part of family-focused care. Sounds radical, even though it shouldn’t be. At Feeding Futures we want parental self-care to be part of the new normal that comes with the special needs diagnosis, and here’s why.

Caregiver Stress Impacts Children

Dr. Stuart Shanker, child psychologist and Founder of The MEHRIT Centre, explains that we’re parenting in an age of toxic stress levels. We are stressed and our kids are stressed. Our bodies and brains are in overdrive all day, every day, and it all flows down into the lives of our children.

In his book Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life, Dr. Shanker describes a body of research on emotional co-regulation that shows the prefrontal cortex of a child’s brain is not fully developed, so it co-regulates with the prefrontal cortex of significant adults. When an adult is in a stress cycle, the “inter-brain” connection with the child is also full of that stress. Dr. Shanker describes this brain sync up like a “bluetooth” or wireless connection between children and adults. When the inter-brain connection is calm and regulated, stress behaviors are reduced.

There is also polyvagal research from Dr. Stephen Porges and other neuroscientists that’s found when stress is high, we all tip into fight, flight, and freeze more often. This state has substantial long-term health impacts on kids, both typical and with special needs.  

Here comes the missing piece that will turn your world upside down, but in a good way. Our children are our mirrors. They show us our stress levels. Each stressful adult day seeps into the nervous system of our children, and they reflect it back to us. Whenever we see a rise in anxiety and stress behaviors in our children, we need to take a good look at our day-to-day lives and our own stress levels. It’s hard to see ourselves as contributing to our children’s challenging behaviors, but the good thing is that it’s never too late to make changes and adopt a softer, more compassionate approach.

The 10% Self-Compassion Promise

Parents of children with special needs require more than just run of the mill self-care practice. They need supercharged, exceptional, and radical self-compassion. I tell parents to imagine they won the “self-care lottery” and they have to use the money on taking better care of themselves or they will lose the prize. Everything about our lives is filled with exceptionalities, and this part of our lives needs to be, too.

I ask families to think how their lives would change if they took 10% of the love and energy they donated each day to their child and gave it back to themselves. Many say they can’t, that it would be selfish, that there is no time. It’s natural that special needs parents are super focused on their children. They have to be. But they also need to care for themselves to avoid the downhill flow of anxiety into their already compromised children. When I remind them of how interconnected stress is within families, they begin to think a little more about a yoga class or going for that swim.

Here are a few things special needs parents can try as they step into the world of exceptional self-care and compassion.

Become a Peaceful Warrior
Special need parenting requires us to fight, so we go at it from a position of a warrior. But what if we come at this type of parenting from a different direction? One where instead of burning through our energy supply like an aggressive warrior, we pause each day and fill our tanks with exceptional compassion towards ourselves. Tell yourself each day that you are doing the job of a giant and that you are doing it well. This I know to be true because I have lived it. You can only be a warrior for so long, then you crash, and no one wins.

“Self-Care Light” Just Doesn’t Cut It
I love spas. I love the music, the muted colors on the walls, the water everywhere, and the services are wonderful. It is a delightful experience, but in my opinion, it is “self-care light.” Like all powerful experiences, we have to go deeper to see changes in our thinking, feeling, and behavior. Sadly, it has taken years for me to figure out this basic fact—leaving the spa and going back into the beehive of a stressful house or busy job is not what I call wise. These days I will keep my hundred dollars of spa money and instead opt for meditation. The Headspace app is a great option.

Learn More About Self-Compassion
Recently, I have taken on a more significant and more in-depth practice of self-compassion.  Self-compassion goes deeper than thinking it is nice to buy yourself that expensive thing because you deserve it. It is a deeper daily practice where you learn how necessary it is to cultivate a kind voice in your head. This voice will get you through the dark days, the medical appointments, the IEP meetings, and whatever your exceptional life will toss at you.  Self-compassion lives within a soft spot within yourself. It provides you with much needed kind attention, and it is the balance to all the attention you have to give to others.

Know That Compassion Has Two Necessary Parts
I remind parents of a concept I learned though buddhist meditation teacher and author Sharon Salzberg. Compassion has two equally important parts: the part you give to others and the part you must give back to yourself. Parents have no issue with the first part. It’s the second part they can’t get their head around. They have never been taught how to care for themselves or even think it is necessary. But it is, and this is the foundation of helping our children with special needs feel better, too.

Consciously Invite Positives Into Your Life
A wise yoga teacher once taught me the power of inviting positives and joys into our lives, and the reason to do it is more profound than you think. This practice teaches us that when our lives become more positive and balanced, we can reflect and observe that negatives have drifted away or at least don’t take up as much space in our lives. The work of Barbara Fredericksonsuggests we broaden and build positive states such as gratitude, kindness, compassion, joy, and peace. Try it for a month, see how your life changes, and how the behavior of your children will change, too. Positive begets positive, and joy generates joy, so pause to celebrate the positives, no matter how small they might appear.

So, are you ready? Ready to try something that will benefit your whole family? Start small. Make a list of things you would like to do for yourself, and carve out time to do it. Your family is not ordinary, it’s exceptional. And so are you.

How to Think Like a Man and Impress your Guy

HOW TO THINK LIKE A MAN AND IMPRESS YOUR GUY

Team Lovepanky

Men complain that women are just too different and difficult to understand. So learn to think like a man and impress your guy just the way he wants!

Do you want to know to think like a man, especially in a relationship?

Ever heard your man grumble that you just don’t understand him?

Or did he whine about how women are just so different?

Now before you try changing yourself for his sake, you should know that men may whine a lot about women and their behavior.

But all said and done, men still want women to behave like women, and leave the “manly” behavior to the men.

There are a few times though, when you behaving like a man can make him exceptionally happy.

So if you want to know how to think like a man, and impress your guy, here are a few starting points.

How to think like a man

Thinking like a man is easy. Girls grow up and become women. Boys get bigger and become men.

If you want to think like a man, all you need to do is bring out your inner tomboy child.

Try these manly behavior traits when you’re with your own man. And big chances are, he’ll bear hug you in happiness or brag about how his girlfriend is the bestest in the whole world to all his friends!

Men don’t beat around the bush

If you want to think like a man, start with this one.

When you’re angry, do you always tell your man straight out about the reason behind your frustration? Most women don’t. They’d rather hold it in and grumble in a corner while the man goes back into a series of flashbacks just to understand what and where he did wrong. And almost always, until he realizes what offended his woman, he pays the price.

Men don’t do that. If your man is angry with you, he’d rather just blurt it out to you in a bad way than hold it in and rephrase the crushing annoyance in a manner that would have the maximum impact. If you want to be a man, the next time you’re upset with him for something, say it out straight and don’t beat around the bush. At least then, he’d know what he’s apologizing for!

Men like their space

Ever seen your man sitting by himself and happily building a car scale model or polishing his car? He likes doing that. Men absolutely love their space. He may feel guilty at times and try to spend more time with you to make up for it though.

The best way to deal with this is by keeping yourself occupied with your own hobby once in a while. Go out with your friends now and then, or indulge yourself in a few activities that you enjoy around your own place. By doing this, you’d lift your man’s bag of guilt off his back, and help him appreciate your independence a lot more!

Men like sex a lot more than foreplay

All women know this well. Your man may be nice enough to spend a while indulging in foreplay for your satisfaction, so learn to return the favor now and then by excusing him off a few tongue twister moves and cuddles before sex. Take him straight to bed and ask him to get on top as soon as you feel ready down there. He’d probably be surprised, but it’s going to be a happy one

Your man loves his gadgets and games

All men love playing on their game consoles or even spending time with their little remote controlled cars. It may seem immature, but for a man, it gives him a bit of time to get away from the world. Now men know their women would never understand this fascination.

But if you want to know how to think like a man, let him know that you can enjoy a good game too. The next time your man’s out for a while, play with his man toys and try to enjoy a good game. There’s a good chance that you may understand his fascination after a while too.

And when your man does get back home and sees you busy enjoying his game, there’s a big chance his eyes will well up with tears of joy!

Men love getting wasted

Men just love losing control of their senses now and then. Every man has his own reason, all the way from hoping he’d get molested in a drunken stupor by a group of sexy girls, to drinking being his way of dealing with the crap life throws at him.

Plan a Saturday night for him. Stock up your refrigerator with beer and booze and get wasted together. Just make sure the doors are locked and you’re close to the bed and the loo. Remember, the fun starts when both of you start trash talking. The best part is that your man would never forget those happy nights when you both have fun binge drinking together. Dealing with the hangover come Sunday morning, well, that’s a small price for a load of happiness, isn’t it?

Men love porn

Ever caught your man in front of his computer late at night with his hands deep inside his pants? Of course, your man will be embarrassed to get caught in a compromising position.

You may be pissed off or even insulted to see that he actually had to watch another naked woman to get an erection and have a bit of fun when he already has you. It’s natural that you’d feel that way, but men don’t understand that.

For men, porn is porn. And looking at another naked woman or two isn’t cheating, it’s having a good time.

Instead of rebuking him or getting upset and throwing a pillow for him to sleep on the couch, join him and watch the movie together if you want to think like a man. Watching erotica together can be a lot of fun and he’ll feel relieved too.  How many lucky guys get to have sex with their woman while watching a few other women at the same time? And odds are, you’ll love the hot men in the movie too!

Times when he won’t enjoy your manly behavior

Now that you know how to think like a man, use these tips to impress him and let him know how understanding you can be.

But at the same time, don’t overdo it. It would only upset him or make him wonder what’s going on. Here are a few great examples of woman showing man behavior gone wrong.

# Sex is just sex. Don’t fall asleep immediately after sex like a man does, without even looking at him. If it happens a few times in a row, he’ll probably spoon you and cry himself to sleep.

# Men look at other women even if they’re in love. Don’t do the same. He’d probably pick a fight with the guy you’re staring at, or think you’re a flirty cheat-in-the-box. But use this move if he disrespects you by ogling a lot at other women all the time.

# Men don’t change their favorite frayed pants or tee shirts unless his woman throws it out. If you wear your old, fading clothes and laze on the couch, he’ll probably think you’re starting to look ugly.

# Men burp and fart with their friends. But in your endeavor to think like a man, don’t ever do that. He’d think he’s turning gay or you’re turning into a guy. Either ways, it’s not good news for you.

Now that you know how to think like a man, try these moves and impress your guy with ease. Well, just as long as you don’t go overboard with your manly behavior!

The Termination Letter

THE TERMINATION LETTER

Japheth Prosper

I still remember how my father walked into the house that evening and announced that he had been fired.

“I have just been fired,” he said to my mother miserably and languidly sank into the chair. “I have just received my termination letter. My own is finished. I am finished. We are finished.”

As he cried, my mother came to sit beside him. God bless my mother. She just helped him to unbutton his shirt, remove his jacket and turn the fan to face him.
“You are not finished, my husband. You are not finished.”

She summoned my elder sister.

“Lucy, bring your father food to eat.”

I could see the shock in my father’s eyes. How could she not understand that he had just lost his job? I believed that was what he was thinking. But my mother remained in that manner as if nothing had happened.

Lucy brought my father’s food while my mother called on me to bring her a paper and a pen. I wondered what was on her mind. There were tears already hanging on my cheeks because I didn’t like the mood I saw my father in that evening. I had never found him in such a vulnerable situation before.

When I gave my mother the pen and paper, she began at once to scribble something on it. I wondered what it was. Although I sat in front of the television, my ears were cocked to pick up every sound. I wanted to know what they were going to do with that piece of bad news that my father had brought.

He just ate about ten spoonfuls of the rice that my sister had placed on the dining table for him. The meat, he did not even touch. My father was a very heavy eater. He must really be in a terrible mood for him not to have eaten from the food. I felt for him. I really felt for him.

Soon, his head was cradled in his palms. I knew he was thinking. I quickly remembered my classmate Biodun whose father had died of hypertension and when I asked my sister what could lead to such sickness, Lucy had said it was ‘too much thinking.’

I wanted to tell my father not to think because I did not want him to die but we were taught to keep quiet when our parents were having a heart-to-heart talk. For this reason I simply maintained a dignified silence.

“Chai! Upon all the things I did for these people, they still had the mind to fire me! This world is wicked! This world is crazy,” my father kept on lamenting.

Heaving, my mother said, “Mr. David Kadema, we are not going to discuss the past now. We are going to discuss the present and the future. You have lost your job and it is now in the past. We are not going to talk about it. We are going to talk about what we are going to do from now onwards because, job or no job, this family must feed and carry on with life.”

My father was just staring at my mother as if she was his teacher and he was a very obedient pupil. He was just staring at her as if she had just returned from Jupiter.

“What are we going to do now?”

I was surprised to hear my father ask my mother such a question. What did he mean by that? He had always been the breadwinner and the one who took almost all the decisions in the house.

My mother asked, “How much do you have?”

He looked at my mother as if she had just asked a very difficult question on rocket science.

“Mr. David Kadema, talk to me. How much money do you have in your account?”


Somewhat reluctantly, he mumbled a sum. My mother heaved a long sigh.

“I have double that amount in my account,” she said. “We can start up something with what we both have and live happily.”

From where I sat, I saw the palpable shock in my father’s eyes. “How did you get such money?”

He did not expect that my mother could have such amount of money in her account because my mother sold only soft drinks with ice blocks at home. Most people who always go to work usually look down on people who did petty business. However, I have come to realize that this assertion was completely wrong. Because he was usually not at home, he didn’t realize that my mother was making so much money from her petty business.

Again, my mother was not an impulsive buyer like my father. Every kobo counted whenever she wanted to buy or sell. As far as being prudent was concerned, my mother could score a hundred marks.

“We are going to start selling eggs in crates and we shall be using your Sienna minivan to do supplies.”

“What?” Wild horror lined my father’s face. “What are you talking about? You mean…?”

“Yes,” she replied without waiting for him to conclude. “We are going to be selling eggs and your car will be used to supply them.”

My father sat like a cocked gun. I could sense the irritation in him but he was calm. I think the termination letter with the figure my mother said she had in her account had humbled him.

My mother began to talk about her proposed business and, with rapt attention, he listened. They talked for a very long time.

“We are going to draft a new food roaster,” my mother said. “From today, we are cutting down expenses. Only needs will be taken care of from today. No money will be spent on wants and frivolities. Please let me be the boss for six months and, thereafter, you will take over fully.”

I thought my father was going to object to that but he didn’t. Instead he agreed to all the things that my mother was saying nodding at various intervals.

“And lastly, you will not lament to anyone that you have lost your job. As far as I am concerned, you resigned and got a better one because no job is as good as the one you do for yourself.”

My mother went on talking for a long time and my father kept listening and nodding at everything she was saying.

Finally, she looked at me and said, “Mercy, are your brothers at home?”

“No, Mummy,” I shook my head. “They have gone to play football.”

“Tell your sister to fetch water for your father to bathe with,” she said and turned to my father, “Congratulations, Mr. David Kadema. Take your bath and rest your bones.”

Somehow, I saw the relief in his eyes as he got up from his seat and went to the bathroom.

Later that evening while he was asleep, my mother gathered us all for a meeting. My brothers Jerry and Eugene had both returned from the field. Jerry had just got admission into the university and had only returned after the first semester. He was going to become a civil engineer. Eugene was going to SS3 while Lucy was in JS3. I was going to JS1.

We all gathered at the dining table as she talked. “Your father has just lost his job,” she began rather expressionlessly.

“What!” Jerry and Eugene cried in unison. Lucy’s hands were on her head.

“What happened?” Lucy asked. “Did he fight with someone?”

My mother shook her head. “I don’t care what happened. I am only concerned about now and after. I want you all to assume that nothing happened and we will all get our hands on deck.”

“Will he start looking for a job?” Jerry threw in.

“No,” Mother said shaking her head. “He just got another job.”

Lucy raised her hands to the air, “Praise the Lord!”

“Thank God ooo,” Eugene heaved. “I hope it’s a better job ooo.”

“Yes, it is,” my mother nodded.

“What job is that?” they all chorused with naked curiosity.

That was when I spoke for the very first time. Before my mother would reply, I muttered, “He will be selling eggs.”

“What?”

They all turned to my mother. Eugene’s eyes darted with inquisitiveness. “Mother, is it true?”

“Yes,” she nodded, and I saw the disappointment in their eyes. “Your father is now an egg dealer. He is going to start working for himself now and no more rushing his meals just to go to work on time. He will plan his day from now onwards and his time will be spent in doing his own business not another man’s business.”

She went on to tell us so many things and in the end we were all convinced that the termination letter was a blessing in disguise.

“All hands must be on deck. Your father has been working for this company for over a decade now and we still live in a rented apartment. If the job was that good, we ought to have been living in our own house by now.”

She wrote so many things on a sheet of paper and mapped out duties for all of us. The next day, she made zobo and kunu and bottled them. Lucy and I went from house to house telling people that we now sold cold kunu and zobo.


Mother bought a bigger refrigerator a week after and we began to sell more sachet water along with the kunu and zobo.

Within a month, we had found a shop across the street. My mother set up a laundry shop for my elder brothers there and they were always busy because she announced it at the church. Almost half of the men in our church patronized them. Most evenings, we all joined hands in washing while Eugene and Jerry did the ironing. When they had so much work, they would invite their friends and pay them for the services rendered. Our house became more like a business hub.

The egg business started a month later and my father got very busy. His phone was always buzzing with people calling for supplies. Mother was always counting money. With the interest that came from the business, she bought agro products and kept them in a very big shop which we rented months later.

When it was six months and mother was to hand over to my father, he smiled and said, “Be the boss, my love. Just be the boss and I will forever be at your beck and call.”

By the time Jerry returned to school, he opened another laundry shop there.


We now have three Sienna cars to distribute eggs. We now have people working for us. We now have three shops and own two houses which we gave out for rent. Our own living house will soon be completed. It might seem like magic to some people but we are all proud of my mother. We all saw how it began and she was transparent enough to let us know how every penny was got or spent.


To crown it all, my brother Jerry will be graduating this year while Lucy will be heading for Finland to further her education.

WHAT MEN LIKE IN WOMEN MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE

What Men Like in Women More than Anything Else

Team Lovepanky

Men can’t help but love women. But do you really know what men like in women and what is it about a woman that they find most attractive? Find out here.

Men like women. A lot.

But there are a few kinds of women that men absolutely adore and fall in love with, wherever they go.

Ever seen an ad on the television where a girl walks across the street and all the guys either trail her or wolf whistle in appreciation?

Want to be that girl?

When it comes to appreciation at first sight, what different men like in women doesn’t really vary a lot.

It’s the simple things really.

And it’s really simple to become that woman who can make heads turn and men swoon wherever you go.

Find out what men like in women and be that attractive woman that all men want and desire.

But then again, once you know what men really like in women, what are you going to do with all that attention?!

What men like in women

Attraction and infatuation at first sight are very different from the deep appreciation that men get once they get to know a woman well.

But for starters, here are the special aspects about women that make men thank the one above for creating women in the first place.

#1 A cheerful attitude

The cheerful laugh or a flirty giggle of a happy, cheerful woman can melt even the hardest of manly hearts. Have a happy, cheerful personality and try to look at the happier side of life all the time. There’s something about a cheerful woman whose eyes light up with joy that draws all men to her.

#2 The way she looks and dresses

It’s always easier to attract attention from men when you make an effort to look good and dress well. A bright red umbrella is always a lot more attention grabbing on a rainy day amidst all the dull umbrellas, doesn’t it?

Dress well and feel good about yourself. You don’t really have to try and stand out with bold, flashy colors all the time. Just dress like a perfect ten in well fitting clothes and appear confident. And yes, don’t forget that dab of perfume to leave a trail of men swooning over your fragrance as you walk past them!

#3 Flirty gestures

What men like in women is a streak of flirty seduction. Do you curl your lips or hold a pen in your lip when you’re trying to come up with an idea? Do you wink or raise your eyebrows flirtily when you say goodbye or pass a smart remark? Well, if you do indulge in any of those expressions or even a million other expressions that make you look cuter-than-cute, then you’re already on your way to make hearts beat a lot faster.

Men can’t get enough of flirty gestures from women. Stand in front of the mirror and try a few flirty moves. It may seem dumb at first, but hey, remember what men like in women and try this tip. It’s guaranteed to show results within seconds!

#4 Just a little bit of skin

Want that glance to turn into a second and third glance? Learn to show a bit of skin. An outright pound of cleavage or a slab of midriff can seem attractive, but it’s also trashy and crude. And it makes you look like you’re trying too hard to please and get attention.

Play subtle. It works a lot better. A shirt or a tee that ends just right around where your jeans start, or a perfectly fitting top with a wider neck that shows a bit but yet needs a bit of craning to get a peep is just perfect for men. They love the nearly-there peeks and their curiosity would drive them crazy enough to stare, again and again.

#5 A seductive voice

If there’s anything that makes the hair on the back of a man’s neck stand in excitement, it’s a woman’s sweet and sexy voice. Now mastering the art of the husky voice takes time, so don’t give it too much of a thought just yet.

When you’re speaking with a man, speak in a low tone and avoid the high pitched glass shattering squeal that most women use when they’re surprised or ecstatic with joy. A low, soft voice inadvertently sounds more arousing and attractive. And the best part here, it’s easy to speak in a low, softer tone without seeming like you’re trying too hard. Try your new softer voice the next time you’re on the phone. And don’t blame us if the man on the other end gets flirty!

#6 A woman who asks for help

This is every man’s dream. Well, as long as he isn’t your man already!

Men like to feel wanted and appreciated by women. Most women think men are slobs who hate working or running errands, but that’s the case only if he’s already in a long term relationship with you. If he’s single and a woman with all the aforementioned characteristics walks up to him and asks him to help her out with a smile, he’d jump up like a jack in the box.

Men absolutely love a woman who asks for help. It makes them feel more macho, gives them an excuse to have a conversation with a pretty woman, and reawakens their evolutionary desire to be the provider and the protector. And when you thank a man with a flirty smile, there’s a good chance that he’d gush with awkward embarrassment and ask for your phone number!

#7 A woman’s ability to flirt back

Do you ever flirt back with a man, even if it’s just for fun? Many women feel awkward, embarrassed or even threatened when a friendly guy starts a little flirting game.

Just because you indulge in a friendly game of flirting doesn’t mean you’re falling for a guy, remember that. If you want to impress a man, have a fun conversation with him. If you bring your flirty expressions into the conversation, there’s a good chance that any guy would want to flirt with you or sweet talk you, even if he’s with his own girlfriend!

But you don’t always have to flirt back with a guy, sometimes when you play hard to get and blow hot or cold once in a while, it’ll throw a guy off guard and make him try harder to please you.

#8 A woman who acknowledges a man’s stare

You may like a guy who’s sipping his whiskey at the far end of the bar counter. How would you feel if he looks at you, gives you his dirtiest stare and looks away? You’d feel shattered, of course.

Men have a heart too, you know. If a guy’s trying to catch your attention or trying to exchange a glance, you don’t need to reciprocate all the time. But if he does seem decent enough, it’s a warm gesture to lock eyes for a second and look away.

You don’t need to date him or have his babies, but a simple acknowledgement that you noticed him can make his day, especially when you’re such a stunning woman with all the charms. You can look once and forget all about it, and any guy would appreciate that. If there’s one thing men like in women, it’s the ability to acknowledge a man without blowing him off in the first glance.

You could give him your dirtiest stare though, if he seems too eager to continue the game or makes a move to talk to you.

Now that you know what men like in women, use these eight tips and you’ll see how easy it can be to win the attention of men around you. And the best part, it’ll never appear like you’re trying to make an impression!

Don’t Be Afraid to Do These 10 Hard Things for Yourself

DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THESE 10 HARD THINGS FOR YOURSELF

Marc Chernoff

Don't Be Afraid to Do These 10 Hard Things for Yourself

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
―Mae West

This morning a close neighborhood friend, Alison, passed away far too early.  While Angel and I have spent most of the day grieving, I’ve also spent this past hour thinking about the fact that our lives are often much shorter than we expect, and that we need to do some pretty darn hard things to maximize our very limited time.  Alison strongly believed in doing the hard yet necessary things in life—we talked about this topic on several occasions, and she never backed down from a challenge.  So today, I want to reflect on this with you.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run.  Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life.  They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with more possibility and progress.

You know this is true, so…

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Teach your Man to Treat You like a Lady

teach your man to treat you like a lady

TEACH YOUR MAN TO TREAT YOU LIKE A LADY

Team LovePanky

Do you ever wish your boyfriend would just learn to treat you like a lady, without you having to tell him to do things all the time? Try these simple steps to change your playboy into a chivalrous knight.

Do you ever wish your man would just start treating you the way you want to be treated?

Men seem to have evolved physically from the apes, but at times, their chivalry and manners seem to go back to the days of the primitive apes.

Here are a few tips that you could use while you’re with your man to make him learn a few manners himself.

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Why Insecure People Struggle With Vulnerability

WHY INSECURE PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH VULNERABILITY

Kyle Benson

As we’ve seen on this site, vulnerable communication is the solution for finding a healthy relationship and happy life. At a glance, most treat vulnerability as if it is something every person can do. Many believe that if the person sets their mind to it, they can get their needs met in a healthy manner. Unfortunately, this is only the case for secure individuals.

Secure individuals are capable of expressing themselves and regulating their emotions because they believe they are worthy of love and affection. They expect their partners to be responsive and caring. It’s easy to see that having such beliefs can lead on to not become overwhelmed as easily. Secure individuals have no issue communicating their needs to their significant other.

The problem is that insecure people -my previous self included- struggle to get in touch with what is really bothering them.  Once the emotional floodgates open, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. These can create irrational thoughts, which can end in a person lashing out.

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