Don’t Be Afraid to Do These 10 Hard Things for Yourself

DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THESE 10 HARD THINGS FOR YOURSELF

Marc Chernoff

Don't Be Afraid to Do These 10 Hard Things for Yourself

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
―Mae West

This morning a close neighborhood friend, Alison, passed away far too early.  While Angel and I have spent most of the day grieving, I’ve also spent this past hour thinking about the fact that our lives are often much shorter than we expect, and that we need to do some pretty darn hard things to maximize our very limited time.  Alison strongly believed in doing the hard yet necessary things in life—we talked about this topic on several occasions, and she never backed down from a challenge.  So today, I want to reflect on this with you.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run.  Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life.  They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with more possibility and progress.

You know this is true, so…

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Teach your Man to Treat You like a Lady

teach your man to treat you like a lady

TEACH YOUR MAN TO TREAT YOU LIKE A LADY

Team LovePanky

Do you ever wish your boyfriend would just learn to treat you like a lady, without you having to tell him to do things all the time? Try these simple steps to change your playboy into a chivalrous knight.

Do you ever wish your man would just start treating you the way you want to be treated?

Men seem to have evolved physically from the apes, but at times, their chivalry and manners seem to go back to the days of the primitive apes.

Here are a few tips that you could use while you’re with your man to make him learn a few manners himself.

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Why Insecure People Struggle With Vulnerability

WHY INSECURE PEOPLE STRUGGLE WITH VULNERABILITY

Kyle Benson

As we’ve seen on this site, vulnerable communication is the solution for finding a healthy relationship and happy life. At a glance, most treat vulnerability as if it is something every person can do. Many believe that if the person sets their mind to it, they can get their needs met in a healthy manner. Unfortunately, this is only the case for secure individuals.

Secure individuals are capable of expressing themselves and regulating their emotions because they believe they are worthy of love and affection. They expect their partners to be responsive and caring. It’s easy to see that having such beliefs can lead on to not become overwhelmed as easily. Secure individuals have no issue communicating their needs to their significant other.

The problem is that insecure people -my previous self included- struggle to get in touch with what is really bothering them.  Once the emotional floodgates open, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. These can create irrational thoughts, which can end in a person lashing out.

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7 Powerful Yet Simple Metaphors that Will Change the Way You Think

7 POWERFUL YET SIMPLE METAPHORS THAT WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK

Angel Chernoff

7 Powerful Yet Simple Metaphors that Will Change the Way You Think

A metaphor is not an ornament.  It’s a necessary lens of perception that allows us to experience and think about ourselves and the world more clearly.  Metaphors have a way of relating to us in the most profound way, by clarifying immense truths and intricate lessons in fairly minimal space.

Marc and I have shared the following metaphors and corresponding stories with our students, readers, and conference attendees dozens of times over the past decade, and we usually get thanked for doing so.  The specifics differ slightly every time we share them, but the core lessons carry forth.

My challenge for you today is to read the first metaphor below.  Then come back tomorrow and read the next one.  Give yourself a little extra perspective every day this week.  See how doing so gracefully changes your thinking from day to day.

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Time Management Techniques for Couples

time management for couples

TIME MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES FOR COUPLES

Natalia Avdeeva

Together time is something busy couples have a hard time sharing with each other. Use these 12 time management techniques to have a better romance.

In the hectic lifestyle that we have these days, sparing time for each other is turning out to be much harder than we first imagined.

You may be in a relationship or you may be married, but that’s no excuse to ignore each other on the pretext of having busy individual lives.

These days, several couples hardly ever spend an hour together at the end of the day.

It may start off as an inevitable choice, but soon enough, it may turn into a lifestyle change.

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Avoid Them Like The Plague: 16 Types of Guys Not to Date

types of guys

AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE: 16 TYPES OF GUYS NOT TO DATE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

He might seem like a catch at first, but try to imagine him without all that first date charm. Or you could read up on these types of guys to avoid.

Dating can provide you valuable experiences and insights into what kinds of guys are out there. It helps you find out just what you like and don’t like in potential mates and relationships. However, the search for that “someone” can be frustrating. It may come to the point where you’re willing to settle for anyone, overlooking certain qualities you actually don’t like just so you can finally say you’re in a relationship.

However, if you’re a smart enough woman, you’ll know that there are just a few things that you should not put up with. There really are certain types of men that you should stay away from. While you may or may not have dated their kind in the past, there’s still time to change your ways and wise up to their quirks.

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Positive Parenting: Accept Feelings, Limit Actions

person and two toddler's playing at the seashore

POSITIVE PARENTING: ACCEPT FEELINGS, LIMIT ACTIONS

Rebecca Eanes

Over the years of moderating a popular parenting page on Facebook, I have had the opportunity to listen to many parents voice their concerns about changing their parenting paradigms to peaceful, positive parenting. One of the major goals of positive parenting is to raise emotionally intelligent children, and this is because research has shown that children with high emotional intelligence are less defiant, mentally healthier, and more successful both academically and in relationships.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, evaluate, and regulate emotions. In our quest to raise emotionally intelligent children, positive parents understand the importance of accepting a child’s feelings. A common misconception is that accepting all feelings means accepting all actions resulting from those feelings, leading to an unruly and disrespectful or spoiled and coddled child.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are what they are. We feel what we feel. What we do with those feelings, though, is extremely important, and that is a large part of emotional intelligence. It’s not about just understanding and accepting feelings but also teaching children appropriate actions around those feelings.

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Being Brave Together

Fear

BEING BRAVE TOGETHER

Famifi

We all want fearless kids, right? Little people who can jump off high dives, check under their own beds for monsters, and brave their way through Halloween night. So how do we help them build up the resilience they’re going to need to do just that?

Developing our kids’ internal compass

Kara Fic leans on lessons learned from her own childhood as she now raises two daughters, one of whom was recently heading out the door on her first solo commute to a school across town. Kara says she slipped her camping compass into the 11-year-old’s hand as she ventured out: “She’s ready for this new challenge,” says Kara, “but it’s still a big city. The compass is really just there as a backup in case she gets disoriented—and as a reminder that she’s navigated denser forests than this.”

Kara refers to the many campouts her family has taken together over the years when her daughters were first earning their stripes as Girl Scouts—and teaching the boys a thing or two about bravery in the process. Bears, bees, rain and rations toughened up the girls, Kara explains, as they did during her own Girl Scout days. She’s happy about how her daughters’ wilderness training now spills over into their city life—and into their fear management in general.

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Proven Strategies To Help Your Kids Manage Fear

Parent and Child Swimming

PROVEN STRATEGIES TO HELP YOUR KIDS MANAGE FEAR

Famifi

Helping our children manage their fears can be a complex task. And with every kid being different, no one strategy fits all.

We put together this list of 10 strategies and 6 books to get your kids facing and conquering their fears:

Strategies

• Find examples of kids being brave in books or films and talk about how those stories relate to the fear he or she is currently experiencing.

• Help them make fear manageable: Feel it, label it, share it, watch it go. Then make a plan for the next time fear shows up.

• Find ways to be brave together: take family adventures – camping, hiking, standing up for convictions, trying things outside your comfort zone.

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Conversations: What Keeps You Up at Night as a Parent?

People Talking

CONVERSATIONS: WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT AS A PARENT?

Famifi

Parents gather in all kinds of communities to talk about things that matter most to them. Here we asked two moms and a dad what keeps them up at night as they think about their families.

Jane:

My kids, so far, are pretty confident and self-possessed, so my biggest fear isn’t that they’re heading toward some cataclysmic meltdown, or whatever else typically ranks high on the lists of parent fears. My anxiety is much more mundane and basic. It’s really just about money. Not crazy amounts, mind you. My concern is about having enough to cover just really basic things. That’s a concern that has yet to go away. And to see the rich parents around me every day, (none of you lovely people, of course…) but to see them in their expensive highlights and handbags…from the signals they’re putting out, I’m not sure it ever does go away—for any of us. I’m talking about moms with crazy resources at their disposal but from the look of their clenched jaws and nervous eyes, it doesn’t look to me like they have any more peace of mind than I do. I would guess that behind many of those manicured, boxwood hedges there is plenty of stress too. Not from personal experience mind you…but I think money creates about as many problems as it solves. So give me my middle class family and middle class problems any day, because I know how to handle them. …But I do still worry.

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