THE PSYCHOLOGY OF ARROGANCE
5 reasons that arrogant people (regrettably) often succeed
Raise your hand if you like arrogant people?! … Just as I figured – no hands! Hey, I’m with you!
I work with a lot of people and, over the years, I have come to truly believe that there is at least a splash of good in each and every person. And that we all have a ticket on the same ride. I try to be forgiving and I try to respect others as best I can.
This said, if there is one quality in others that gets my goat, it is arrogance. In an article summarizing a provocative set of studies, Johnson, Silverman, Shyamsunder, Swee, Rodopman, Cho, and Bauer (2010, p. 405) define arrogance as “stable belief of superiority and exaggerated self-importance that are manifested with excessive and presumptuous claims.” Sounds about right. We all know one. He or she might belittle you without warning in any context. This person almost definitely talks behind your back. And you go out of your way to avoid having to have interactions with this person as you fear that such interactions may leave you feeling bad for any number of reasons.
SELF CARE: CHERISHING YOURSELF AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
In Wednesday’s posting on The Gottman Relationship Blog, in which we shared a recent study out of UC Berkeley on the relationship between sleep and relationship conflict, we brought up the importance of cultivating good habits in self care, one of the most critical tools in maintaining healthy relationships. This weekend, we offer you a few of Dr. Gottman’s tips for goal-setting and stress management! We hope that the following lists will help you as you work to find balance and create a healthier lifestyle, both for yourself and for your relationship.
DR. GOTTMAN’S TIPS FOR GOAL SETTING:
- Make your goals specific and measurable. Rather than telling your partner that you would like to talk more, suggest that you go on a date every other Saturday. Leave the kids with the babysitter and find some time for just the two of you.
- Think about the pros and cons of making healthy changes. If we stick with the example above, we could imagine that a pro would be the ability to feel closer to each other and relax (at a favorite dinner spot, on a jaunt through a beloved park, in a cozy cafe), and a con could be the price of the babysitter.
Please every parent and guardian should teach their children and wards, especially toddlers, very early about ‘PANTS’ rules. Times have changed and the world has become a very sick and pathetic place to live. There are many paedophiles and rapists out there. Be careful, and note that everyone is a suspect here.
We must prayerfully protect our children by arming them with the right information:
P – Private parts are private. Nobody is permitted to touch them.
A – Always remember that your body is yours and yours only.
IS BEING SEXY MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING BEAUTIFUL?
Should we bring sexy back?
“I think being sexy is far more important for love and sex than beauty; and it is also quickly identifiable. If I see an unsexy pretty man, I can appreciate the looks but I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. This happens often, not just to me, not just to women. I’d like to think of myself as both sexy and good-looking.” A married woman
Both being sexy and beautiful enhance romantic attraction. Which one is more dominant? And which one is more positively received? The answer is not obvious.
12 HARD THINGS YOU NEED TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the mind is your ultimate battleground. It’s the space where the greatest and fiercest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you thought were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your inner resistance buries you with negativity. And, when you allow these thoughts to dwell in your mind, they gradually succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, and ultimately your life. You think yourself right into nervous breakdowns and bouts of depression, time and again.
I know because I’ve been there.
Honestly, we’ve all been there at times.
But, what can we learn from our trials? A whole lot!
WHY DID BIG WEDDING CEREMONIES BECOME THE WAY TO GO?
In recent years, a typical Nigerian wedding has gone from a relatively intimate experience to something between a carnival and a church revival.
Either by nature or the influence of time and other cultures, it’s fair to say that Nigeria is a marriage-crazed society. Here, everything that is related to the union of man and woman is more significant than you’d expect.
Without a doubt, the most accentuated of all these is the wedding, the act of tying two together as one.
10 MINI-TRADITIONS THAT WILL BRING YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER
The family fun won’t stop with these 10 easy family traditions.
“A family that plays together stays together,” isn’t just a popular saying, it is true. When you do things together as a family, you build friendships and create memories that will last even when those hard times come. And you don’t have to plan big events either. You can create small family traditions that will last through the years and be something your children look forward to.
Here are 10 mini-traditions that take little time but create something powerful:
30 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR KID INSTEAD OF “HOW WAS YOUR DAY?”
When I picked my son up from his first day of 4th grade, my usual (enthusiastically delivered) question of “how was your day?” was met with his usual (indifferently delivered) “fine.”
Come on! It’s the first day, for crying out loud! Give me something to work with, would you, kid?
The second day, my same question was answered, “well, no one was a jerk.”
That’s good…I guess.
9 QUALITIES OF A GOOD FATHER
Gary & John Lundberg
A father has many roles to play, all designed to enrich his life and the lives of his children. When these roles are understood and pursued with determination, his whole family is blessed.
When we got married I was excited to be with my wife and start our life together. In the back of my mind was the thought that we would also have a chance to have children and I would then become a dad. Notice the thought was in the back of my mind as I was caught up in the experience of being a newly married husband and completing my education.
My wife was also enjoying her new role, but was more attuned to being a parent. In fact, she told me during our courting days that she wanted thirteen children. I agreed. Of course, that was before we had one. Our journey to having children was different and took longer than we had anticipated. After five years of hoping, the idea of having a big family was diminishing. We would settle for however many we could have. The day finally came and we stood in the newly furnished nursery with our son in our arms. We were excited and humbled realizing our lives were forever changed.