THE LITTLE THINGS IN LOVE THAT MAKE ROMANCE BETTER
Love and romance isn’t just about splurging on expensive gifts or jet-setting on luxurious vacations. What really holds true love together are the little things in love, the little acts of love that really count.
Why are little acts of love so important to keep that warm buzz of love and that glow alive?
There are times in your life when you just sit down and watch the rain pitter-patter against the window pane.
At times like these, you wish you could do so many things for your lover.
BE A LITTLE MORE OPTIMISTIC: 6 THINGS OPTIMISTS DO DIFFERENTLY
If the grass looks greener on the other side…
And START watering the grass you’re standing on!
Truly, the most powerful weapon against daily stress is our ability to choose one thought, or response, over another. I was reminded of this today when a course student named Sarah sent me the following in an email (I’m sharing this with permission):
MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK!!!
Dr. D.K. Olukoya
Many years ago I interpreted the saying “Marriage is not for small boys” to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years.
I asked her, “So what is the secret of your over 47 successful years in marriage?”
Beaming with smiles, she retorted, “My son, the expectations you bring into marriage will spell either its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or him buying cars for me but, with time, my patience, hard work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of getting cars, houses, taking care of our children and all that.
DATING MYTHBUSTERS: YOU’LL FIND LOVE IF YOU STOP LOOKING
Is it true?
If you have been single for a while you are bound to get advice from family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances alike. There is nothing like a single person to bring out the relationship expert in us all. The trouble is, there is a lot of bad advice out there. This advice is often built around myths that have come to be culturally accepted and more widespread than personal data collected on a popular social media app.
One of the more common dating myths is that you will find someone when you stop looking for a relationship. This could not be farther from the truth. Here is why:
DATING MYTHBUSTERS: THERE IS A BETTER HALF OUT THERE FOR YOU
Does your “better half” exist?
We hear it all of the time. “I am ready to meet my better half?” “You are so lucky that you have found your better half!” “When are you going to settle down with your better half?” This turn of phrase has been used so many times that it has become the way we describe our partners or potential partners. So people everywhere are out there searching for this “better half”. You know, the one person whose presence in your life will not only make you feel complete but will also do so by being BETTER than you are. Wait…WHAT?!
The mere notion that there is a better half out there for you implies that you are not complete on your own. To be happy, you need another person to share your life with who will magically transform your lack luster existence into a life of bliss. The problem is, this will never work! Here’s why:
DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THESE 10 HARD THINGS FOR YOURSELF
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
This morning a close neighborhood friend, Alison, passed away far too early. While Angel and I have spent most of the day grieving, I’ve also spent this past hour thinking about the fact that our lives are often much shorter than we expect, and that we need to do some pretty darn hard things to maximize our very limited time. Alison strongly believed in doing the hard yet necessary things in life—we talked about this topic on several occasions, and she never backed down from a challenge. So today, I want to reflect on this with you.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with more possibility and progress.
You know this is true, so…
7 STEPS TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART
“Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” is not just a hit song from the 1960s, it is a fact. Anyone who has gone through a break up knows that a broken heart can be difficult to mend. This universal emotional response to the sudden, unexpected or unwanted loss of love is often characterized by an intense longing, hurt and/or desire for an ex or unrequited love. And it can hurt like hell. For some, it feels like their whole world is caving in on them. And in many cases, because the pain is so great and the path to mending it seems so daunting, people avoid healing their broken heart. This avoidance can lead to many unwanted side effects including but not limited to greater internal conflict, complicated emotional responses, withdrawal and difficulty in future relationships.
So, how do you heal a broken heart? Here are a few tips I have picked up in my training, clinical experiences and late night calls with girlfriends and family members.
Take Your Time
10 REASONS YOU MAY BE STUCK IN AN UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIP
Stephen J Betchen
A fear of change often prevents people from ending a destructive relationship.
Goethe wrote: “Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.” A client—who was in a miserable and unworkable relationship—decided to stay and suffer rather than make a change. His reasoning was, “I’d rather live with the devil I know than the devil I don’t know.” In response I asked him: “How do you know you will end up with another devil?” He said, “Why take a chance.” This individual’s stance is all too common. Most people seek psychotherapy to ease their pain but are reluctant to exert the effort required to do so. These individuals weigh the of price of change unfavorably against the gain it may bring. Because clinicians cannot offer any guarantee of success people are reluctant to risk their status no matter how dysfunctional. To shed some light on this issue, I offer 10 reasons people often remain stuck in an unhappy or destructive relationship:
1. To avoid anxiety. When we make a change, we usually experience at least a modicum of anxiety about our future. Self-doubt may flood us: Am I making a big mistake? Will I miss my old life? While there is rarely a guarantee that all will end well, our dynamic will most likely remain the same or worsen if we do nothing.
THESE 4 BEHAVIORS RUIN MARRIAGES IN LESS THAN 6 YEARS (AND WHAT TO DO INSTEAD)
There are four toxic behaviors that harm all relationships. They are toxic because they take away the emotional safety required for emotional connection and conflict resolution.
Dr. Gottman calls these four behaviors the Four Horsemen. Like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the New Testament, they symbolize the end of time for a relationship.
When these four behaviors become a habitual way of communicating problems, they end a relationship within 6 years, according to Dr. Gottman’s research.