DON’T BE AFRAID TO DO THESE 10 HARD THINGS FOR YOURSELF
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
This morning a close neighborhood friend, Alison, passed away far too early. While Angel and I have spent most of the day grieving, I’ve also spent this past hour thinking about the fact that our lives are often much shorter than we expect, and that we need to do some pretty darn hard things to maximize our very limited time. Alison strongly believed in doing the hard yet necessary things in life—we talked about this topic on several occasions, and she never backed down from a challenge. So today, I want to reflect on this with you.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you absolutely need to do hard things to be happy in the long run. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life. They make the difference between existing and living, between knowing the path and walking it, between a lifetime of empty promises and one filled with more possibility and progress.
You know this is true, so…
LOVE CHEMISTRY AND SPARKS IN LOVE
Do you believe in love chemistry and sparks in love when you like someone? Most people wouldn’t be able to recognize a romantic spark even if it hit them full-on on their face! Matthew Rhodes was one of those men who didn’t believe in chemistry in love until it was a tad too late…
My tryst with love chemistry
Last night, I was watching this sappy, schmaltzy movie on television. Now I’m still nowhere near my story about sparks in love and chemistry in love, but this is a good start.
I was watching The Princess Diaries II. It was a good movie, and I think Anne Hathaway is really hot, which is why I actually watched the movie in the first place.
SEEING BEYOND DEPRESSION
There’s new evidence that depression is not just a disorder of the mind—and blood tests for signs of inflammation promise treatment options precisely tailored to each patient’s needs.
Mrs. P’s symptoms, which were intimately interconnected in her lived experience of arthritis, were split apart by doctors into mental and physical symptoms. Having diagnostically divided Mrs. P in two, we proceeded to treat her physical disease—her swollen joints—in completely different and disconnected way from her mental illness—her depression and fatigue. We used the medical language of immune cells to treat her inflammation, and a different team of doctors, in a different hospital, used the language of serotonin and psychotherapy to treat her depression.
12 SIGNS IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LET GO
The renowned psychologist Carl Rogers noted that people are often unhappy because of a lack of congruence in their lives, which is another way of saying momentary complexity blinds us to the simple solutions of life. For Rogers, simply sitting with a patient and having them talk through their problems, without the therapist leading them or making judgments or giving advice, was the best way for them to let go of their problems. Rogers determined that when you give a person a safe and supportive space to think through things, they tend to do so more effectively.
Right now, I want to give you a safe and supportive space to think, so you can let go of any extra baggage that’s been weighing you down. Try this: pause for a second to notice what’s going on in your body. Are your jaw muscles clenched? Are your shoulders or neck tightened? Do you notice a part of your body holding on to tension—perhaps tension fueled by something you’re subconsciously worried about?
Most of us are holding tension in our bodies and stress in our minds, whether we realize it or not.
DIVORCE RATES AROUND THE WORLD: A LOVE STORY
What do we know about the rates of divorce all around the world, and how they have been changing over time? Thanks to a recently published study, we now know a whole lot more than we did before.
University of California at Irvine sociologists Cheng-Tong Lir Wang and Evan Schofer analyzed nearly four decades of divorce data (1970-2008) from 84 countries around the world. They looked at changes in rates of divorce over time and different rates of divorce in different places. Their report, “Coming out of the penumbras: World culture and cross-national variation in divorce rates,” was published in the December 2018 issue of Social Forces.
The approach that psychologists use to understand whether someone is likely to divorce is to look at individual life experiences and choices, such as a person’s education, employment, income, and the age at which they marry. The sociologists Wang and Schofer were interested in societal factors that might be relevant to rates of divorce, such as a nation’s level of economic development and the proportion of their women who are in the workforce. They also wanted to learn about global norms and values, such as the belief in human rights and gender equality, and whether they had anything to do with rates of divorce.
THE HARDEST THING YOU NEED TO REMEMBER WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG
In our office, there’s a framed entry from Marc’s grandmother’s journal, dated September 16, 1977. It reads:
“Today I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts removed. But in a strange way, I feel like the lucky one. Until now I have had no health problems. I’m a sixty-nine-year-old woman in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than seventeen.”
This journal entry is displayed in our office because it continues to remind us that there is always, always something to be thankful for. And that no matter how good or bad we have it, we must wake up each day thankful for our lives, because someone, somewhere is desperately fighting for theirs.
5 SIGNS YOU’RE ADDICTED AND 15 WAYS TO GET OVER PORN!
Having trouble with your porn addiction? Use these 15 tips on how to stop watching porn and get your life back in order by dealing with the addiction.
Do you hate the amount of time you spend watching porn every day?
Watching porn isn’t wrong if you’re old enough.
And it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
But if you feel like it’s taking away a lot of your time and you’re left frustrated as soon as you finish the deed, here’s what you need to do to get your furious hands under control and wean yourself off the habit over time.
MAJOR CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN NIGERIA
Here are the leading causes of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE in Nigeria and most countries. The problem is quite widespread so it is better to know the main reasons, and maybe this will help to avoid such anathema at home.
The list of domestic violence causes
HOW TO END AN AFFAIR AND GET OVER IT COMPLETELY
Even the best of us can go astray and tread into the wrong path. Are you ready to walk away from an affair? Find out how to end an affair and get over it.
Knowing how to end an affair just isn’t easy.
You may feel guilty about it, but like an addiction that’s hard to resist, an affair can control your life and eventually dominate it and tear it apart.
Wanting to end an affair is the first step, and it is the right one.
If you’re determined to end an affair, we’ll tell you how to go about it the right way.