Insights on Same-Sex Marriage from Julie Gottman

Insights On Same-sex Marriage From Julie Gottman

Manchild Alert! 23 Signs You’re Dating an Immature Prick

Manchild-immature-man

MANCHILD ALERT! 23 SIGNS YOU’RE DATING AN IMMATURE PRICK

Bella Pope

When you open yourself up and fall in love, you think you’re falling in love with a man. But what do you do if he ends up being an immature manCHILD?

The last thing I want when I start dating someone is to end up being a babysitter and not a girlfriend. Yet, for some reason, this has happened to me time and time again. I don’t know if it’s because of my motherly qualities or if I just attract needy and childish men, but I seem to be stuck with them a lot.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not some stuck up lady that thinks any guy who knows how to have fun is automatically considered a manchild. But if you’re taking ‘fun’ to such a level that only an 8 year old would enjoy, then I definitely have a problem.

What is a manchild?

Just as Urban Dictionary defines the term manchild, it is a man who is so immature that they are considered a child. By ‘immature’ I mean that this man can’t take care of himself in any way, shape, or form.

For some reason it seems like there is a manchild epidemic threatening to take over the world. Since our generations don’t stress the need for growing up and becoming a ‘man,’ some people just never seem to catch up to their actual age anymore, whereas in past generations, you needed to get your act together by the age of 16 and grow up.

Are you dating a manchild?

For the sake of women everywhere, you should take action when you know you’re dating a manchild. Don’t let him invade your life and continue with his childish antics. If you’re not sure if your man qualifies as an annoying manchild, here are some signs to tell for sure and just what you can do to fix it.

#1 He never cleans up after himself. As in, EVER. A guy who throws dirty dishes into the sink without even rinsing them and then lets them fester there for days until you finally have had enough, is nothing more than your typical manchild.

#2 He doesn’t even know HOW to clean up after himself. And if he doesn’t clean up after himself not because he’s lazy, but because he actually doesn’t know how to work the dishwasher – or hell, even the sink – he’s still a manchild.

#3 He expects you to do the ‘woman’ stuff. If your boyfriend is harping at you to cook, clean, do the laundry, and all of the stuff that the ‘girl is supposed to do’ he hasn’t matured yet at all.

#4 He freaks out if he doesn’t get his way. You know, like how a toddler would throw everything they’re holding and lay on the ground screaming until you give them what they want. He can’t handle it when life in general doesn’t cater to his every need.

#5 He can’t handle constructive criticism. A manchild just can’t take it when someone tells them how they can do something better. In their immature mind, they’re the best at everything. So he’ll just slump down for a while following constructive criticism.

#6 He’s never wrong. If arguing with your boyfriend is completely pointless because there’s just no way he’ll ever see your side because he’s always right, you may be dating a manchild.

#7 Any type of game brings out his ugly side. Forget drinking games, board games, and even a nice game of Frisbee because if he loses – or even if he wins – he’ll be a sore loser or a gloating, insulting winner.

#8 He only thinks about himself. Selfishness is a big trait of a manchild. Their inability to think about anyone else in any given situation just proves their immaturity.

#9 He has no idea how to handle his finances. If he’s spending money left and right with no way of tracking it or even being able to pay for it, you’re dating a manchild.

#10 He lets his mom treat him like a child. Honestly, I would have to say that about 50% of the responsibility for a guy becoming a manchild lies with how his mother treats him.

#11 He can’t take responsibility for his actions. A manchild is someone who always has a scapegoat for everything. They’re never at fault and can do no wrong. Whether they blame someone else or even certain technologies for malfunctioning, he wasn’t the one who messed up.

#12 His friends and hobbies outrank you. If you come last when it comes to his friends and hobbies, you’re dating a manchild who obviously is too immature to handle the realities of a relationship.

#13 He talks a big game… and hardly ever follows through. He may talk tough, he may promise you great things, but if he never–or hardly–follows through with his intentions, then he’s a manchild.

#14 He never plans for his future. Does he have a retirement plan? Does he have a backup savings account for emergencies? Does he even know what he wants to have accomplished in the next 5 years? If not, then he’s too immature to realize that these are important adult matters that need to be taken care of.

#15 He puts you down in front of your and his friends. If your boyfriend is actually insulting you and putting you down in front of company – especially your friends – he’s doing so to make himself look better. This is a quality most seen in 10 year old bullies. Good luck with your manchild.

#16 His friends possess qualities of being manchildren. Do his friends follow these same personality traits? The more likely a person’s friends are manchildren, the more likely he is to be one.

#17 If he gets sick it’s suddenly the end of the world. Does he actually act like a child when he’s sick? He might just have a cold but in his eyes it’s the worst thing to hit the world since the black plague.

#18 He expects you to handle all the ‘adult’ stuff. Paying bills, getting the cars tuned up, going grocery shopping, etc. If your boyfriend shoves all that aside for you to take care of, he clearly is a manchild who can’t even handle adult aspects of life.

#19 He’s insensitive in bad situations. No matter what the situation or what degree of severity it is, he just doesn’t care if it doesn’t affect him. Manchildren aren’t empathetic people and therefore, don’t really care if hundreds of people die in mass shootings or explosions every year.

#20 He can’t hold a steady job. Does your boyfriend consistently have to be looking for a job because he’ll be fired or quit one after only a few months? If so, it could be a sign that he’s a manchild because he can’t follow rules and maintain a steady job.

The Fix – Turn your manchild into a man

Fixing a manchild isn’t an easy task. It could take a long time for them to properly mature into a real adult. However, there are some ways to hurry the process along.

#1 Be patient. I say this one first because fixing a manchild can be a long and frustrating process. Take it day by day and just remember to be calm. If you really care about him and want to be with him, be patient for his change.

#2 Communicate with them. You have to tell them what they’re doing and how it’s affecting you. They don’t realize that they’re being immature. Make sure they know how you feel and tell them often so they’re always reminded that they have to be changing something.

#3 Use incentives for them to change. If talking to them just isn’t enough, you may have to get real with them. Now, they may not accept this at first, but you’ll have to try. Tell them that if they can’t grow up and get their act together, you may have to move on. It’s a mean incentive, but it’s also honest down to its core.

If you’re dating a manchild, I’m truly sorry. They’re tough to deal with and even harder to fix. But with these signs you’re dating a manchild and solutions to that problem, you could be free of their hindering attitude in no time.

Avoid Them Like The Plague: 16 Types of Guys Not to Date

types of guys

AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE: 16 TYPES OF GUYS NOT TO DATE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

He might seem like a catch at first, but try to imagine him without all that first date charm. Or you could read up on these types of guys to avoid.

Dating can provide you valuable experiences and insights into what kinds of guys are out there. It helps you find out just what you like and don’t like in potential mates and relationships. However, the search for that “someone” can be frustrating. It may come to the point where you’re willing to settle for anyone, overlooking certain qualities you actually don’t like just so you can finally say you’re in a relationship.

However, if you’re a smart enough woman, you’ll know that there are just a few things that you should not put up with. There really are certain types of men that you should stay away from. While you may or may not have dated their kind in the past, there’s still time to change your ways and wise up to their quirks.

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Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

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Intimate Partner Violence and the #MeToo Movement

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE AND THE #METOO MOVEMENT

Mary Beth George

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault and violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Over the years, the term domestic violence has been broadened to the more accurate term, intimate partner violence, acknowledging that abuse can occur regardless of marital status, gender, or sexual orientation.

When you hear the term domestic or intimate partner violence, you probably imagine a woman with a black eye, fleeing in the middle of the night to escape her batterer. While that image is accurate, it does not capture the depth and breadth of what many women experience. It also does not bring into focus the batterer.

I should mention that while the majority of domestic violence victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect. Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey indicates that one in six men in the United States have experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, and 11% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

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What to Do with Feelings of Regret

WHAT TO DO WITH FEELINGS OF REGRET

Shoba Sreenivasan & Linda E. Weinberger

If used properly, it can help you become the type of person you want to be.

One of the most frequently experienced emotions is regret. Feelings of regret can stem from looking back on past behaviors and decisions and believing that a better outcome may have occurred if a different choice was made. Topics that seem to elicit the most regret are educationcareer, romance, parenting, self, and leisure (Newall, Chipperfield, Daniels, Hladkyj, & Perry, 2009; Roese & Summerville, 2005).

When having regret, a person can experience emotional, cognitive, and neurophysiological effects. Regret is often accompanied by other negative emotions such as guilt, disappointment, self-blame, and frustration. In addition, people frequently engage in cognitive exercises trying to understand why they made a poor decision or acted as they did, and what other choices they could have made to reap a better outcome. Moreover, regret activates certain areas of the cortex region of the brain (viz., lateral orbitofrontal, dorsomedial prefrontal).

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Sabotaging Your Happiness: 12 Ways You Can Ruin Your Life

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SABOTAGING YOUR HAPPINESS: 12 WAYS YOU CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and more, yet still be dissatisfied and unhappy with your life. But what can you do to change that?

If you feel down in the dumps about yourself, it’s probably because you have habits, attitudes, and actions that are hindering you from being the best person that you can be. In fact, these things can even ruin you and your chances of happiness. Find out how you might be ruining your own life and the things you can do to stop this from happening.

You are ruining your own life…

#1 By being lazy. It’s natural to be lazy, but it can help tremendously if you keep yourself motivated and driven. Putting off things by procrastinating or not going after what you really want because of the effort it entails is the definition of laziness. This attitude holds you back from progress and growth, whether in your career or your personal life.

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A New Appreciation for Anxiety

A NEW APPRECIATION FOR ANXIETY

LaVerna Wilk

Anxiety is an interesting animal. There is nothing fun about it, no one enjoys a rapid heart rate, the hit of adrenaline, the racing thoughts – no one would choose panic attacks. Yet, there seems to be something perversely protective about anxiety at times.

I know that sounds crazy, even to me, but hear me out.

I made an observation one day as I was doing Neurotherapy with a client. We had her hooked up to a monitor and we were training her Theta/Beta ratio at the back of her head. Together we observed that as her brainwaves were learning to cope better with anxiety and reduce her symptoms, that her anxiety was actually increasing.  As we talked about this she stated that, inside her, it almost felt like we were “storming the castle” so to speak, and that there was an urge to hold on to the anxiety and resist the changes we were trying to achieve. As we began to explore that, she was eventually able to articulate that while she didn’t enjoy her anxiety and the limits it imposed on her life, in theory there were ways in which it was almost soothing and at times protective.  Her symptoms included anxiety about traffic and specifically about being in an accident. When she absolutely had to go somewhere with her husband she would have large reactions to imagined “near misses” at intersections, and was obsessed with watching the rear-view mirror so she would be able to warn him if they were about to get rear ended, etc. She had lived with these symptoms for so long that she had become quite accustomed to simply telling people, “No, I can’t go to the concert/movies/mall because my anxieties have been quite high lately”.  What we discovered after much digging, was that her anxieties kept her vigilant, not only for actual threats to her safety, but imagined ones as well.

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1 Secret to Getting Through Difficult Situations (and Really Bad Days)

1 SECRET TO GETTING THROUGH DIFFICULT SITUATIONS (AND REALLY BAD DAYS)

Marc & Angel Chernoff

The human experience is filled with love, passion, creativity, joy, connection, compassion, laughter… and the taste of chocolate. But because we as human beings learn, evolve and grow through life’s ups and downs, our experience also includes plenty of difficult situations that round us out.

The key is to not let life’s difficult situations get the best of you.

Think about the most gut-wrenching situations you’ve endured in your life. Doing so likely brings up some very uncomfortable feelings. And the associated memories may stir anxiety, anger or sadness, and thus, may continue to quietly affect the quality of your life. This is a predicament many of us face.

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Are You Dating a Married Man?

dating a married man

ARE YOU DATING A MARRIED MAN?

Team LovePanky

At times, without really wanting to, we may end up having a relationship with married men. So are you dating a married man? Read this experience to understand how it feels to date a married man, and how your life can change when you enter this dark world.

Of all the relationships you can get into as a girl, dating a married man is one of the worst kinds.

When you enter into a relationship with married men, inevitably you step into a world that can reveal a lot of joy, and yet, tear all the happiness away instantly.

And this cycle of happiness and pain repeats itself until you can’t take it anymore. But why do women fall into this trap in the first place?

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