HOW TO BE MINDFUL ABOUT MONEY
If you’ve read Zach Brittle’s Blog Series, you know that M is for Money. M is also for marriage, misunderstanding, multidimensional and maybe, as in maybe a good thing and maybe not. We are conditioned to think of money as an ultimate goal, a passport to the land of eternal peace of mind, but in the long run we know this isn’t quite true. Most of us have figured out by now that money is not the ultimate answer. It can’t really make us happy and isn’t very good at solving our relationship problems.
It’s tempting and convenient to think otherwise, though. Think of the hassled husband (or wife!) on all those TV shows, eternally retreating into their office to escape the myriad challenges of daily life (most commonly, to avoid facing marital conflict). The pursuit of financial security as strategy for avoiding the complexities of human relationships is a common theme. It doesn’t even have to be a conscious decision at first, but it is a slippery slope! After all, we’re only human, and when faced with a choice between an intractable problem and a lovely distraction… well, we often can’t help ourselves.
Unfortunately, workplace escapism often makes things worse. Even solvable problems can become gridlocked issues when avoided long enough. Falling into these habits only increases the distance between us and loved ones, putting stress on relationships and limiting families’ ability to face challenges together. It takes a conscious effort to change our ways, and we may be helped by a change in perspective.
QUALITY OF LIFE
“Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.'”
(Luke 12:15, NIV)
“In The Death of Ethics in America, Cal Thomas quotes a letter written to the Washington Post in the mid ’80s. ‘I’ve lived both lives, Yuppie and non-Yuppie,’ the writer said. ‘In the first, I was married to a professional woman and on our dual incomes we Club Med-ed, sports car-raced, alpine skied and Kennedy Centered our 14-year marriage into oblivion.
“I’m now 42, remarried to a woman who gave up her ‘professional’ career to provide full-time care for our one and five-year-old daughters, and living in Gaithersburg, Maryland—on one salary. Trips to Australia and Europe, Saturday night dining at Nathan’s, and Wolf Trap concerts are distant memories. Vacations are now taken in our nine-year-old used pop-up camper, and dining out means ‘Hooray! Daddy’s bringing home a pizza.’ We’ve just started into the second round of … one hundred readings of Pat the Bunny for our one-year-old. Satisfaction level in my first life measured about 2 on the 10 scale. Measured now, satisfaction is about 9.5.'” (Michael Josephson in Character Counts. www.charactercounts.org)
MONEY MANAGEMENT FOR COUPLES
Newlyweds are a happy lot, and they may know a lot about love. But there’s one thing they really don’t know, and that’s money management for couples. And money and couples just don’t get along unless there’s a clear understanding of finances in marriage.
Rick and Rachael. They were the definition of rugged manliness and drop-dead gorgeous looks in their college years.
Rick was the kind of guy all girls yearned for. Popular, compassionate, understanding, good looking… pretty much the guy any girl would want to spend the rest of her life with.
HOW TO MANAGE MONEY IN A MARRIAGE
Managing money in a marriage is a difficult task which can be heart-shattering at times. Find out how to manage money in a marriage by understanding your partner when it comes to managing money.
Get your priorities right
If you’re living in an independent home, then focus on the purchases of basic requirements rather than going in for fancy gadgets, designer furniture, expensive cars, and other not-so-necessary things.
Save for the future
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PARTNER MAKES LESS MONEY THAN YOU
You’re wrong if you think that just because you make more, you call the shots. There’s a vast middle ground that you can both get comfortable in.
You’ve worked hard for as long as you can remember. You’ve clawed your way to the top. Money is not an issue for you, and you enjoy spending it just as much as you enjoy earning it. You’re hella proud of your success, and rightfully so. However, there is no denying that money can and will be an issue if the person you are in love with makes significantly less than you.
Everyone preaches about equality in a relationship, but how is that possible when you have the capability to do things, buy things and experience things that your partner can only dream of? You may have more than enough to go around. Heck, you may even have enough to support an entire zip code, but is that really what you want to do?
Maryam Habu Shinga
This may not be the best time for me to write on this because of misinterpretations, but I can no longer resist the push. Husband scarcity has become one of the challenges faced by many young girls today. If you go to prayer houses, majority of the intentions are prayer for a life partner. And this calls for concern.
Casting our minds back to the time of our mothers and grandmothers, was there really much husband scarcity problem? Or, maybe there were more men than women then, or there was a corresponding number of both genders. I don’t think so. Maybe then, the women had values and were prepared to build a home and not park into a built home. Then, once a young man came of age and could at least feed himself and his wife, he went out in search of a wife and the woman really appreciated him and helped him to build a future.
What am I really trying to say? Women created for themselves what we now see as husband scarcity. Today, the reverse is the case. Ask an average girl to define her dream husband. You get responses like “He has to be tall, handsome, fair, and rich, own a house at least, and be presentable.” Then she adds “God-fearing” in order not to sound so worldly.
10 MINI-TRADITIONS THAT WILL BRING YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER
The family fun won’t stop with these 10 easy family traditions.
“A family that plays together stays together,” isn’t just a popular saying, it is true. When you do things together as a family, you build friendships and create memories that will last even when those hard times come. And you don’t have to plan big events either. You can create small family traditions that will last through the years and be something your children look forward to.
Here are 10 mini-traditions that take little time but create something powerful:
THE GREATER GIFT CAME LATER
My husband was seriously injured at work in August 2002. He was unable to work for about six months. Much of his income is from overtime and his disability pay did not equal even 25 percent of the income we count on. We have five children and this was a massive loss of income for our family. It became necessary for me to work a second full-time job.
Most days I went to my teaching job at 7:00 a.m., went to my second job as a cashier at a local retail store at 4:00 p.m., and dragged myself home around midnight, knowing I had to do the same thing the next day. I still had to do lesson planning and somehow squeeze in family time. I worked seven days a week, and was rarely home. My youngest child, seven years old at the time, missed me so much that he started carrying a picture of me to school in his pocket.
Until then, I’d been very active in my church. But I became too busy for most of my church life and missed many meetings. Word spread about our situation, and I received many calls with words of encouragement and emotional support from fellow church members.
BREADWINNING MOTHERS CARRY THE MENTAL LOAD AT HOME
Angela Anagnost Repke
Mothers everywhere are increasingly the breadwinners. This title looks great on paper, but with it our “mental load” gets only heavier. When my son was first born I, too, fit that role. I would wake up, feed my baby, take him to his grandparent’s, teach all day, pick up my son, and then do all of the evening stuff at home. My weekends were filled with grading papers, cleaning, meal-prep, and one squeezed-in activity with family or friends.
Sleeping was difficult. My head would rest on the pillow, but the to-do list piled up like a stack of books, keeping my eyelids open. I never felt caught-up. After reading some recent research, turns out, I wasn’t alone in accumulating this “mental load.”
The research was conducted by Business Wire and proved that when women are the breadwinners, we take on more responsibilities outside of work compared to their husbands. Yes, on top of bringing home more money, they truly did it all: cleaning, cooking, paying bills, and the planning all of the extracurriculars. All of this is known as the “mental load.”