The 5 Types of Couples

THE 5 TYPES OF COUPLES

Michael Fulwiler

Drawing from over four decades of research data, Dr. John Gottman has been able to categorize couples into five types: Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, Volatile, Hostile, and Hostile-Detached. In his new book Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, Dr. Gottman uses love equations to explain his findings. The three happy couple types (Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, and Volatile) come from Harold Raush’s landmark book Communication, Conflict, and Marriage, in which Raush analyzes interactions between partners to discriminate happily from unhappily married couples. Each type is very different from the others, and each type of couple has its benefits and risks. Of the two unhappy couple types Dr. Gottman identified in his lab, Hostile couples stayed unhappily married, while Hostile-Detached couples eventually divorced. Do you know what type you are?

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10 Ways to Rekindle the Passion in Your Marriage

10 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE PASSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Terry Gaspard

Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kids’ activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage.

Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.”

When Kendra drops this bombshell, Jason responds, “I thought we were doing okay, I really did. Even though we don’t have sex much anymore, it just seems like a phase we’re going through. I don’t have any energy left by the time I hit the bed at night.”

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3 Tips for Handling Conflicts About Money

3 TIPS FOR HANDLING CONFLICTS ABOUT MONEY

Rich Nicastro

Richard Nicastro Georgetown TX Psychologist

If you’ve struggled with these issues, it may or may not be comforting to know that the most common causes of conflict within marriages and intimate relationships are sex and money. For many people, they’re understandably immediately concerned with how their own lives are playing out. For many others, they still have that immediate concern, but they also can take solace from the fact that they’re not alone and that their struggles are not unusual.

Regardless of where you stand on the comfort-little comfort spectrum, it is true that when couples have lasting or recurring fights, power struggles about money frequently tops the list.

No couple is impervious to arguing over finances

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The Best Marriage Advice Around

THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE AROUND

Nurturing Marriage

It’s true. We have gathered some of the best marriage advice around – from ordinary (and amazing) people just like you. People who are living proof that this kind of advice helps. People who are experiencing the ups and downs of married life, just like you. We wanted to know what married people, who are in the thick of things, would share with other couples, and we were blown away by the plethora of deep and wise advice that these folks shared. This is the kind of advice that helps nurture marriages, friends.

So, enjoy reading all of this awesomeness. And don’t be shy – leave your best marriage advice in the comments, please!

“Marriage is not a 50/50 give/take way of life it is a 100/100 give/take situation.” – Don

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Research Reveals the Secret to “Happily Ever After”

RESEARCH REVEALS THE SECRET TO “HAPPILY EVER AFTER”

April Eldemire

If you think the way to eternal love is through grand gestures of romance and passion, think again. Sure, love poems, romantic getaways, and surprise flowers are all wonderful for keeping your relationship happy, but the true secret lies in the small, everyday moments.

Remember those first few months of dating? You would spend endless amounts of energy storing up all of those little quirks, likes, and dislikes of your new love. You would dissect everything he or she said, hungry for more. What is her favorite restaurant? What is his favorite cologne? Does she like it when I tickle her here? How does he feel about me putting my hand on his leg here? It was young, fun, and exciting. It seemed effortless, and in a way, it was. Unfortunately, this type of intoxicating persistence seems to dissipate drastically once complacency kicks in. But why should it?

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A Good Husband Accepts His Mistakes

A GOOD HUSBAND ACCEPTS HIS MISTAKES

Rich Nicastro

What does it mean to be a good husband?

This was the question posed to a group of men at a recent men’s workshop. The focus of the workshop was men and intimacy. But a theme emerged about how men in committed relationships can be better husbands and partners.

“What does it even mean to be a good husband?” one man asked the group.

The answers to this and similar questions became the focus of the entire day. Clearly working on how to be abetter husband was central for these men.

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Domestic Violence: The Untold Story of Engr. Chinyere Sylvia Akaleme

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: THE UNTOLD STORY OF ENGR. CHINYERE SYLVIA AKALEME (NEE IGBO)

The menace of Domestic Violence in Nigeria and its implications on the families of the victims

LATE ENGR. SYLVIA CHINYERE AKALEME

Unfortunately for Sylvia, or Chinyere as she was fondly called by family and close friends, she did not live to tell her own story. She was cut down in her prime by her husband, OBINNA AKALEME, the man she loved till death did them part. She died on the day she was due to give birth after a series of miscarriages in her husband’s house.

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Secure Relationship: The Role of Emotional Safety

SECURE RELATIONSHIP: THE ROLE OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY

Rich Nicastro

When emotional security is lacking…

  • “Over the last year we’ve had so many ugly fights that I just don’t trust him with my feelings any more.” ~Lucy, married six years
  • “It feels to me like she sends me mixed signals…one moment everything is fine between us, then all of a sudden she’s angry about something and she doesn’t know why. I need something more stable.”  ~ Vince, dating eight months

When emotional security is strong and resilient…

    • “He’s my rock. I’ve learned over the years that I can trust him with anything!”  ~ Barbara, celebrating her thirtieth wedding anniversary
    • “We’ve been through some tough times together, and we’ve both said some things I wish could be taken  back. But when push comes to shove, we’ve always had each other’s back.”  ~ Trish, with her partner for fourteen years

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Emotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection

EMOTIONAL SAFETY IS NECESSARY FOR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

Ellen Boeder

The latest research in neurobiology shows that emotional safety is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying connection in a loving relationship. We need to feel safe before we’re able to be vulnerable, and as Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

Some people get turned off by the idea of prioritizing safety in their relationship because they equate a “safe” relationship with a “boring” one, but it turns out that the secure relationship we all long for is cultivated best when we feel safe.

Stephen Porges, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of neuroscience and one of the world’s leading experts on the autonomic nervous system, confirms that we have an imperative for safety deeply wired into our minds and bodies.

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The #1 Thing Couples Fight About Based On 40 Years of Research

THE #1 THING COUPLES FIGHT ABOUT BASED ON 40 YEARS OF RESEARCH

Kyle Benson

Most often couples fight about nothing

Do you know Angelina Jolie?

She’s that beautiful actor who adopts Asian babies, and married the world’s most gorgeous man. They even had their own movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Well, I’ve never met her. She sounds like a deadly assassin with a secret identity.

But I do know Christina.

Like Angelina, Christina is an admirable and beautiful woman. She also happened to marry a beautiful man named Brad.

When they first met, he was something different. Mesmerizing. Passionate. But now there is a huge space between them, and it keeps getting bigger.

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