THE HUMAN HEART WAS MADE TO BE KNOWN AND LOVED
What were you made for?
You were made for someone to study you. To read you. To reflect on you. You were made for someone to be attuned to you.
Attunement is the desire and willingness for someone to travel into your inner world to explore who you are and who you are becoming. In a securely attached relationship, this connection cultivates trust that allows your heart to rest.
To truly love another, we must read them well. I’m not talking about the kind of reading where you skim to the parts of a book you think might be interesting, but the kind of reading that engages you in such a way that you are captivated by the story.
THE GREATER GIFT CAME LATER
My husband was seriously injured at work in August 2002. He was unable to work for about six months. Much of his income is from overtime and his disability pay did not equal even 25 percent of the income we count on. We have five children and this was a massive loss of income for our family. It became necessary for me to work a second full-time job.
Most days I went to my teaching job at 7:00 a.m., went to my second job as a cashier at a local retail store at 4:00 p.m., and dragged myself home around midnight, knowing I had to do the same thing the next day. I still had to do lesson planning and somehow squeeze in family time. I worked seven days a week, and was rarely home. My youngest child, seven years old at the time, missed me so much that he started carrying a picture of me to school in his pocket.
Until then, I’d been very active in my church. But I became too busy for most of my church life and missed many meetings. Word spread about our situation, and I received many calls with words of encouragement and emotional support from fellow church members.
DEAR HUSBAND: I’M NOT THE PERSON YOU MARRIED
I am sorry.
I’m sorry that you’ve been neglected for the last four-and-a-half years. I’m sorry that your needs are secondary. I assure you, you are still one of my top priorities – you just aren’t on the top of the list anymore.
I know that you have needs, wants, dreams, and desires. When I tell you that I want to be the one you lean on, I mean it. I know you are tired of my excuses of being tired, having a headache, or am already snoring when you snuggle up next to me. Trust me, I wish I had the energy I had five years ago. Hell, I wish I had the energy I had two weeks ago when I washed, folded, and actually put away all 10 loads of laundry. Of course, you didn’t see that because I was letting you get some much needed sleep.
WE ARE KILLING OUR CHILDREN AND CALLING IT LOVE!
When I was growing up, one of the worst insults that could be hurled at a child (or his parents) was that he was a spoiled brat. It was a remark that wasn’t used very often, but when it was, it stung. No one wanted to hear the perception that a child was spoiled.
Now, we hardly hear the remark or observation, but maybe it’s because so many children are spoiled. Has the use of the stinging remark decreased as the problem increased?
Out of curiosity, I looked up the meaning of “spoil.” It means “to harm the character of a child by being too lenient or indulgent.”
THE 3 PHASES OF LOVE
What do you do if you love your partner, but you are no longer in love with your partner? Does the feeling of love transform or change over time?
In my book Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, I explain the three natural phases of love. While being in love is a very complex experience, my research has identified choice points when love may either progress to a deeper place, or deteriorate.
Phase 1: Falling in Love – Limerence
In 1979, Dorothy Tennov coined the term “limerence” for the first stage of love, characterized by physical symptoms (flushing, trembling, palpitations), excitement, intrusive thinking, obsession, fantasy, sexual excitement, and the fear of rejection.
5 WAYS TO LET THE GRANDPARENT ENJOY TIME WITH THE KIDS
Everyone can benefit from a little more love in their life.
We all want to grow up and make different choices than our parents. We are going to have different lifestyles, different traditions and sometimes even different beliefs. But there is great importance for your children to connect with their ancestors.
The best way for them to bridge the gap between themselves and their ancestors is through their grandparents. Spending time with grandparents is one of the best things for children to do. Not only do they get to learn more about the past history and ancestors, they also get to connect with someone who is different than they are.
THE DANGER OF MANIPULATIVE LOVE-BOMBING IN A RELATIONSHIP
Spot the warning signs of love bombing early and recover faster with these tips.
“Lisa,” a 30-year-old patient, came to see me regarding a tumultuous relationship: Two years prior, she had met the perfect man, “Jake.” This was a guy who called every day, sent flowers, planned romantic getaways, and was so thoughtful and understanding about everything. After just a few weeks, Lisa was head over heels in love and thought, “this must be my soul mate!”
Then one day, Lisa got a call from an out-of-town college girlfriend, who wanted to go out, have a few drinks, and catch up. She made plans to go, but rather than say, “Have a great time!” Jake became very angry. How dare she spend time with a friend without his permission? He started screaming, “You don’t deserve me,” and stormed out.
Lisa was in shock. How could this loving man, who had been attentive, caring, thoughtful, and considerate in so many ways, suddenly get so angry over something so trivial? Distraught, and desperate to put a positive spin on it, she decided his anger was further evidence of his tremendous love for her; it was protective, not controlling.
21 ROMANTIC TEXTS THAT’LL MAKE YOUR HUSBAND CRAZY FOR YOU
What man wouldn’t love one of these?
Showing love to your husband doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. A simple text can go a long way.
Words of love and affirmation are vital to a healthy relationship. Your husband wants to know that he is an important part of your life. (And he definitely doesn’t mind getting a flirty, romantic message at work to help him through the day.)