GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT ACCIDENTS
After studying more than 3,000 couples in his Love Lab over the last four decades, Dr. John Gottman has discovered that the most important issue in marriage is trust.
Can I trust you to be there for me when I’m upset?
Can I trust you to choose me over your friends?
Can I trust you to respect me?
5 SECRETS ABOUT SEX YOUR WIFE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU
Men and women think differently about sex. Here are five sex secrets your wife may not tell you.
Sex secret #1 – Help without being asked
Husbands, you need to understand something: getting in the mood starts outside the bedroom. It can often begin at the kitchen sink when you say you’re going to do the dishes tonight. It can occur when you remember to take out the garbage before she has to nag you to do it. Nothing is more sexy to an exhausted new mother than watching her thoughtful husband change the diapers. It’s one of the least known mysteries about women.
8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US
Our intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love.
Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warm inside. But as all of us know, this happens only part of the time. The other part is full of anxiety, confusion, and frustration.
Having problems in our relationships are inevitable. Even our soulmates cause issues sometimes. According to John Gottman, couples disagree on unsolvable never-ending issues 69% of the time.
15 INSANELY NICE THINGS TO SAY
Lifting another’s spirits with a genuine compliment makes you feel pretty great, too. You never know how your kind words will affect those around you.
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
A knee-melting compliment, delivered directly and sincerely, can be life altering. We never know how profoundly our kind words affect the recipient – from a store clerk to our own kids.
In the spirit of Mark Twain, here are 15 really nice gems to throw someone’s way.
MAKING YOUR LIST, CHECKING…WHO IS HOT OR NOT
When you are walking around a Christmas holiday party or swiping faces on your phone, you probably have some idea of the type of person you find attractive.
As you swipe away, you are seeking certain traits – physical, mental, social – you desire. Other traits, you say “fuck no.” Maybe you have a list of these traits, or maybe you just know it when you see it.
Either way, you have evolved to desire specific traits. The melting pot of your childhood, teenage, and adult experiences have sculpted and resculpted which traits you find attractive and which ones you find repulsive.
THE 6 FACTORS THAT DETERMINE WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH
During one of my bro moments, a buddy and I were checking out a bachelorette party and choosing who the sexiest woman was in the room. At first we agreed on basic body types and symmetries. We both liked fit, tall women, but soon we started disagreeing. I liked the Latina girl with almond-shaped eyes, a longer face and proportioned boobs and butt. My friend couldn’t stand longer faces. He was attracted to the blond with a round face, massive boobs and no butt.
These conversations happen all over the world in all types of languages, regarding all types of genders. Some girls go for guys dressed in leather, while others go for Mr. Business Suit. Some guys like dangerous girls who are adventurous, and uninhibited, while another guy likes them reliable, soft-spoken, and boring. Eventually everyone agrees to disagree on who is hot or not.
But why on earth would we have a difference of opinion? Isn’t the ultimate driver reproduction? If that’s the case we would fall in love with potential sex partners of the opposite sex with good genetic fabric, health, wealth, high social status and potentially strong parental qualities.
A LETTER TO MY HUSBAND: I WISH I WERE THE WIFE YOU NEEDED
Marriage can be wonderful and awfully messy.
It wasn’t until we got married that I realized how selfish I am. How unloving I tend to be. My thoughts are not always for you. Although it sounds beautiful to be called your wife, I feel I am not deserving of the title.
A wife is to be patient
I tend to talk all over you instead of waiting for a response. I tend to push you along so that I can get to where I want to be. I can’t stand the silence of you thinking because I can’t wait long enough for you to speak. I have agendas for each day and get upset when things don’t go my way, when things aren’t done.
10 WAYS A WOMAN CAN GRAB THE ATTENTION OF THE MAN SHE LOVES
Need some ideas to grab your man’s attention? Here are 10.
Are things getting a little bit stale in your relationship with the man you love? Try using one of these quick tips for grabbing his attention and shaking things up a bit!
- Be physical
I’m talking about actually physically touching him. Give him a massage, hold his hand, rub his back. All these simple physical touches will make him stop and relax a bit as he tells you about his day, or while you make plans for the night.
THE COST OF UNEXPRESSED NEEDS IN FINDING LOVE
If you have an anxious attachment style, you may have experiences that make you feel like a burden in close relationships, so you hide your needs. Unfortunately, this positive intention backfires. You end up feeling resentful for always giving and never getting. Then you get angry and start fights. Even over the little things.
One of the best ways to improve your relationships is to recognize and honor your relationship needs.
Now, this doesn’t mean calling your partner 20 times in an hour. This means understanding that if your partner is unwilling to meet your needs for intimacy, emotional availability, and security, then you’re going to be unhappy.
DATING YOUR WIFE WITH KIDS UNDER FIVE
“She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen,” you thought when you first laid eyes on that gorgeous woman you now call your wife. She is beautiful, smart, and sophisticated. You pursued her like she was royalty: picking her up for dates, holding doors open, bringing flowers, cooking dinners, the ring, the beautiful wedding. Finally, she became yours.
Fast forward to today. She is still the love of your life, but dating her is like running through an obstacle course, and the babies you had together are both delightful and a terror.
You lean in for a kiss, but you get pushed away by the envious one year old in your wife’s arm. You hug her and the toddler clings to your leg because they also want a hug. You try to have a conversation and every thirty seconds you get interrupted with someone wanting milk, apple juice, crackers, cheerios, and of course the inevitable diaper change. You make plans to go out for dinner and one of the kids gets sick. Perhaps, at last, you decide on an at-home date and she falls asleep during the first thirty minutes of the movie.