Intimacy in Your Golden Years: Mindset Is Key

INTIMACY IN YOUR GOLDEN YEARS: MINDSET IS KEY

Dr. Rich Nicastro

It’s an indisputable reality that our bodies change as we age, but when it comes to having a fulfilling intimate life in your marriage or relationship, you may be surprised to hear that your mindset is just as important as your physiology.

The concept of “age-appropriate behavior” was originally used to track developmental progression in children. However, it’s become commonplace to view all phases of life through the lens of appropriateness vs. inappropriateness, a lens that is biased when applied to older adults and sexuality. Sometimes this idea is so subtly internalized that we don’t even realize we’re holding it. And yet, it can stand in the way of meaningful intimacy.

When you think of young lovers, it’s easy to imagine intense amorous energy, but the idea of a couple in their 60s, 70s, and beyond having a life that includes passionate or frequent lovemaking can seem unusual when assessed with society’s skewed criteria.

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10 Ways to Rekindle the Passion in Your Marriage

10 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE PASSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Terry Gaspard

Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kids’ activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage.

Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.”

When Kendra drops this bombshell, Jason responds, “I thought we were doing okay, I really did. Even though we don’t have sex much anymore, it just seems like a phase we’re going through. I don’t have any energy left by the time I hit the bed at night.”

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Research Reveals the Secret to “Happily Ever After”

RESEARCH REVEALS THE SECRET TO “HAPPILY EVER AFTER”

April Eldemire

If you think the way to eternal love is through grand gestures of romance and passion, think again. Sure, love poems, romantic getaways, and surprise flowers are all wonderful for keeping your relationship happy, but the true secret lies in the small, everyday moments.

Remember those first few months of dating? You would spend endless amounts of energy storing up all of those little quirks, likes, and dislikes of your new love. You would dissect everything he or she said, hungry for more. What is her favorite restaurant? What is his favorite cologne? Does she like it when I tickle her here? How does he feel about me putting my hand on his leg here? It was young, fun, and exciting. It seemed effortless, and in a way, it was. Unfortunately, this type of intoxicating persistence seems to dissipate drastically once complacency kicks in. But why should it?

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A Good Husband Accepts His Mistakes

A GOOD HUSBAND ACCEPTS HIS MISTAKES

Rich Nicastro

What does it mean to be a good husband?

This was the question posed to a group of men at a recent men’s workshop. The focus of the workshop was men and intimacy. But a theme emerged about how men in committed relationships can be better husbands and partners.

“What does it even mean to be a good husband?” one man asked the group.

The answers to this and similar questions became the focus of the entire day. Clearly working on how to be abetter husband was central for these men.

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Secure Relationship: The Role of Emotional Safety

SECURE RELATIONSHIP: THE ROLE OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY

Rich Nicastro

When emotional security is lacking…

  • “Over the last year we’ve had so many ugly fights that I just don’t trust him with my feelings any more.” ~Lucy, married six years
  • “It feels to me like she sends me mixed signals…one moment everything is fine between us, then all of a sudden she’s angry about something and she doesn’t know why. I need something more stable.”  ~ Vince, dating eight months

When emotional security is strong and resilient…

    • “He’s my rock. I’ve learned over the years that I can trust him with anything!”  ~ Barbara, celebrating her thirtieth wedding anniversary
    • “We’ve been through some tough times together, and we’ve both said some things I wish could be taken  back. But when push comes to shove, we’ve always had each other’s back.”  ~ Trish, with her partner for fourteen years

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Emotional Safety is Necessary for Emotional Connection

EMOTIONAL SAFETY IS NECESSARY FOR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

Ellen Boeder

The latest research in neurobiology shows that emotional safety is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying connection in a loving relationship. We need to feel safe before we’re able to be vulnerable, and as Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

Some people get turned off by the idea of prioritizing safety in their relationship because they equate a “safe” relationship with a “boring” one, but it turns out that the secure relationship we all long for is cultivated best when we feel safe.

Stephen Porges, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of neuroscience and one of the world’s leading experts on the autonomic nervous system, confirms that we have an imperative for safety deeply wired into our minds and bodies.

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17 Gestures that Make Women Feel Loved

17 GESTURES THAT MAKE WOMEN FEEL LOVED

Aaron & April Jacob

After a huge response to our 17 Gestures that Make Men Feel Loved, here is the long-awaited list of 17 Gestures that Make Women Feel Loved.

Once again, these ideas are simply that – ideas. Not all of them will work in your marriage, but one of them might. And if you implement just one of these into your marriage this week, nurturing is going to happen, friends. And that is very good news.

1. Hug her for at least thirty seconds every day.

Affection. It’s at the heart of what your wife wants. Really, though. Of course she wants more than that, too, but most of all she wants to feel safe in your arms. She wants to feel cared about. She wants to be touched in gentle ways. So hug her for at least thirty seconds every day. Do it. Every day.

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How to Talk to Your Spouse

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR SPOUSE

Aaron & April Jacob

Have you ever found yourself wondering how it is that the person you used to call, text and spend every waking moment with seems to have disappeared from your life? You are like two ships passing in the night. He works late, you leave early.

You never notice when he slips into bed at night, and you hardly see each other in the course of a week. You never have meals together, rarely text each other, and hardly ever have real conversations since your conversations on the phone always seem to go like this,

“Hey hun, did you pick up my dress from the dry cleaners?” “Yes. How was your day?” “Fine. Yours?!” “Good.” “K, well, gotta run, just getting to the store now. Love ya.” “Bye.”

Or perhaps you and your spouse have more time together than ever before, and the kids are grown and gone, but you two seem to just exist in the same space without every really talking much about anything significant.

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Try the 7/7/7 Cuddling Experiment

TRY THE 7/7/7 CUDDLING EXPERIMENT 

Aaron & April Jacob

Your marriage needs more cuddling.

It’s true.

No matter how many years you have been married, the one thing your marriage could always use more of is cuddling.

That’s the plain and simple truth.

So we are here to tell you about the 7/7/7 Cuddling Experiment – what it is and why you and your spouse are going to want to try it – ASAP!

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First Dates Are For Married COUPLES, Too!

FIRST DATES ARE FOR MARRIED COUPLES, TOO!

Aaron & April Jacob

Yes, you read that right. First dates are for married people, too. When we saw this idea from Kristina Kuzmic, we LOVED it, and knew we wanted to help all of you give this a go.

So, first – watch this short, hilarious, witty, and wise clip below.

Pretty awesome, eh?

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