The Little Things That Will Make or Break Your Relationship

THE LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Caroline Sweatt-Eldredge

He comes home from work exhausted again. After yet another frustrating meeting that could have been covered in an email, a tense conversation with a co-worker about the state of the break room refrigerator, and predictably awful traffic on the way home, he crashes onto the living room sofa, lets out a deep breath, and turns on his favorite show. All he wants to do is decompress in silence.

As if on cue, he hears the back door open. His wife is home — and somehow she’s more chipper than ever. As she enters the room and removes her coat, she takes a moment to pause at the front window, saying, “What beautiful weather — it’s just lovely today.”

What should he do next? The answer may matter more than you think.

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Three Daily Rituals That Stop Spouses from Taking Each Other for Granted

THREE DAILY RITUALS THAT STOP SPOUSES FROM TAKING EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED

Peter McFadden

When my wife and I got married, more than twelve years ago now, we were convinced that we would have a happy life together. Our courtship was exciting, and our wedding day was a dream. Little did we know that a switch flipped in both of our heads on the day we said “I do.” Indeed, the very next day—the first full day of our married life—my wife and I would begin taking each other for granted.

It’s only in looking back that I can understand what happened early in our marriage. At the time, the change was so gradual that we didn’t even notice it.

Before our wedding day, our focus was each other, having fun, and building our love. After our wedding day, our focus began to shift. Without realizing it, I viewed our wedding day as the finish line in the courtship race, and I had won the prize: my wife’s love.

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8 Things Healthy Couples Don’t Do

8 THINGS HEALTHY COUPLES DON’T DO

Aaron & April Jacob

We all want to have the “model,” marriage (does that even exist?!), and so we find couples we admire to model our own marriages after.

As important as it is to notice the positive things those couples do, it’s equally important to recognize what they don’t do. Check out this list to see 8 specific things healthy couples don’t do.

1. Expect Perfection

Healthy couples with healthy relationships are real. They understand that everyone is a work in progress, and they don’t expect perfection from their spouse. Rather than worrying about all their spouse’s faults, they focus on improving themselves. Once you’ve reached perfection yourself, then you can begin to expect a little more and start coaching your spouse…but until then, healthy couples choose to look inward.

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Taking Your Spouse’s Emotional Temperature

TAKING YOUR SPOUSE’S EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE

Nurturing Marriage

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Call it sensitivity, call it being “in touch,” call it whatever you want – this small action will make a massive difference in the quality of your marriage.  It’s pretty self-explanatory. If you want to be close to your spouse, you should take your their emotional temperature, daily.

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Play (Emotional) Doctor 

Doctors greet patients (for well or sick visits) by asking questions, taking vital signs, (including a temperature), and making sure that their patients are okay.  As husband and wife, it would be wise to play the role of emotional doctor for your spouse from time to time.

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Did You Know That Half of All Marriages Last Forever

DID YOU KNOW THAT HALF OF ALL MARRIAGES LAST FOREVER?

Nurturing Marriage

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This short clip offers insight into some important statistics about marriage and divorce, and the importance of cluing in to the emotional bids of your spouse. We want to know what YOU think. Did you like the clip? Why or why not? Let us know in the comments below.

The 3 reasons you should not try to make anyone happy

THE 3 REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT TRY TO MAKE ANYONE HAPPY

Kelly Flanagan

We are shoveling mulch like our lives depend upon it.

My three kids are loading wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow, and I’m hauling and dumping and spreading and sweating. Eventually, my nine-year-old son Quinn asks a completely reasonable question. “Why are we going so fast?” I tell him I want the flower beds to look beautiful when his mom gets home. To which he responds with another totally reasonable question: “Because you are trying make her happy?”

The word “exactly” is on the tip of my tongue. But then I bite my tongue.

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10 Ways of Showing Complete Fidelity in Marriage

10 WAYS OF SHOWING COMPLETE FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

Nurturing Marriage

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fidelity as both “the quality or state of being faithful,” along with being “[accurate and exact] in details.” When it comes to fidelity in marriage, the details really do matter. Through small and simple things, you can show your spouse that you are completely committed to them, and to your marriage.

Fidelity in marriage demands 100% commitment and prioritizing your spouse above all else. Will that take effort? Work? Sacrifice? Yes, yes, and yes! But, the reward is far sweeter than any price you may feel you have to pay. Loyalty & fidelity are vital to a happy, healthy, safe, and lasting marriage. Loyalty is the foundation of true love. When you show your loyalty through these 10 ways, your spouse will feel safe and secure with you and with your marriage.

1. Loyal spouses are respectful of each other – in private and in person. 

What You Don’t Understand About Your Emotionally Unavailable Partner

WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER

I was at a conference this weekend where it was once again reiterated to me how impactful our attachment in our early relationships is on our current relationships. When we talk about “attachment,” we usually mean how safe and connected we feel to our partner (or friend, or parent, etc.). What the research has shown over the years is that our attachment style is mostly dictated by the relationship we had with our parents when we were little, but it can change as we have new relationship experiences throughout our lives. There are a few main attachment styles that I want to unpack today, because I think they’re often misunderstood and this misunderstanding can cause major problems in relationships.

Secure Attachment

When you meet someone with a secure attachment style, they probably grew up with a steady flow of comfort, validation, empathy, and love from their parents and family. These are the people who aren’t too anxious, but aren’t scared of relationships either.

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Chronic Stonewalling Imprisons a Relationship

CHRONIC STONEWALLING IMPRISONS A RELATIONSHIP

Kyle Benson

Stonewalling
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?
“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy, daddy, watch me.”

But what happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive? The child will experience distress.

It doesn’t matter if you are 5 months old or 45 years. There are still two basic responses to an unavailable attachment figure.

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7 Enhancing Lovemaking Conversations for Couples

7 ENHANCING LOVEMAKING CONVERSATIONS FOR COUPLES

Kyle Benson

Lovemaking in a monogamous relationship is said to be heart-pounding, breath-taking, and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us settle for the same sexual positions?

Far too often, spouses become “too important” for experimenting in the bedroom. This takes the mysterious element of sex between two people and puts our wild erotic nature into a jar that will never be opened again.

Sometimes partners stop putting in the effort to seduce their partner. They assume the ring on the finger means they don’t have to try; that a wedding band means you’ll be turned on by me, no matter what I do or how I look. You’ll love me till death do us part.

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