10 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE PASSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kids’ activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage.
Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.”
When Kendra drops this bombshell, Jason responds, “I thought we were doing okay, I really did. Even though we don’t have sex much anymore, it just seems like a phase we’re going through. I don’t have any energy left by the time I hit the bed at night.”
RESEARCH REVEALS THE SECRET TO “HAPPILY EVER AFTER”
If you think the way to eternal love is through grand gestures of romance and passion, think again. Sure, love poems, romantic getaways, and surprise flowers are all wonderful for keeping your relationship happy, but the true secret lies in the small, everyday moments.
Remember those first few months of dating? You would spend endless amounts of energy storing up all of those little quirks, likes, and dislikes of your new love. You would dissect everything he or she said, hungry for more. What is her favorite restaurant? What is his favorite cologne? Does she like it when I tickle her here? How does he feel about me putting my hand on his leg here? It was young, fun, and exciting. It seemed effortless, and in a way, it was. Unfortunately, this type of intoxicating persistence seems to dissipate drastically once complacency kicks in. But why should it?
A GOOD HUSBAND ACCEPTS HIS MISTAKES
What does it mean to be a good husband?
This was the question posed to a group of men at a recent men’s workshop. The focus of the workshop was men and intimacy. But a theme emerged about how men in committed relationships can be better husbands and partners.
“What does it even mean to be a good husband?” one man asked the group.
The answers to this and similar questions became the focus of the entire day. Clearly working on how to be abetter husband was central for these men.
SECURE RELATIONSHIP: THE ROLE OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY
When emotional security is lacking…
- “Over the last year we’ve had so many ugly fights that I just don’t trust him with my feelings any more.” ~Lucy, married six years
- “It feels to me like she sends me mixed signals…one moment everything is fine between us, then all of a sudden she’s angry about something and she doesn’t know why. I need something more stable.” ~ Vince, dating eight months
When emotional security is strong and resilient…
- “He’s my rock. I’ve learned over the years that I can trust him with anything!” ~ Barbara, celebrating her thirtieth wedding anniversary
- “We’ve been through some tough times together, and we’ve both said some things I wish could be taken back. But when push comes to shove, we’ve always had each other’s back.” ~ Trish, with her partner for fourteen years
EMOTIONAL SAFETY IS NECESSARY FOR EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
The latest research in neurobiology shows that emotional safety is one of the most important aspects of a satisfying connection in a loving relationship. We need to feel safe before we’re able to be vulnerable, and as Brené Brown reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
Some people get turned off by the idea of prioritizing safety in their relationship because they equate a “safe” relationship with a “boring” one, but it turns out that the secure relationship we all long for is cultivated best when we feel safe.
Stephen Porges, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of neuroscience and one of the world’s leading experts on the autonomic nervous system, confirms that we have an imperative for safety deeply wired into our minds and bodies.
TRY THE 7/7/7 CUDDLING EXPERIMENT
Aaron & April Jacob
Your marriage needs more cuddling.
No matter how many years you have been married, the one thing your marriage could always use more of is cuddling.
That’s the plain and simple truth.
So we are here to tell you about the 7/7/7 Cuddling Experiment – what it is and why you and your spouse are going to want to try it – ASAP!