10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR WIFE
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably learned that there are certain things that a husband should not say. Here are ten things you should definitely avoid saying to your wife if you value your mortal existence.
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably learned that there are certain things that a husband should never say to his wife. It was funny to hear about marital strife when you were single, but now you know firsthand how uncomfortable a night alone on the couch can be. Here are ten things you should definitely avoid saying to your wife if you value your mortal existence.
“You’re not that old.”
DEFENSIVENESS DOESN’T PROTECT A RELATIONSHIP
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.
Taylor: You never make love to me anymore. (Criticism)
Sophia: Well, you never take me out on dates. (Defensiveness)
When I see couples like Tyler and Sophia act defensive towards each other, it makes me smile. They have yet to realize they just want more out of each other.
TO THE GUY ASKING FOR MARRIAGE ADVICE
Aaron & April Jacob
So, you are getting married in a few months and you want marriage advice, eh?
You are already in a really good place if you are going into marriage with that kind of maturity and desire to know what to do to make it work – and not just work, but actually have your marriage be wonderful and meaningful. Way to go.
Marriage is a beautiful journey. Remember that. It’ s a journey, not some perfect destination you arrive at overnight. It’s the grandest of adventures, the most beautiful experience, and your perfect opportunity to become a better person with the one that you love by your side.
5 THINGS UNHAPPY PEOPLE REFUSE TO ADMIT TO THEMSELVES
Marc and I recently went roller skating for the first time in forever. Everyone else skating was pretty young, except one man in his late 50’s. He kept falling down, smiling and laughing. And all the kids skating kept smiling and laughing along with him. Finally, I asked him why he decided to skate today and he said, “I was at work earlier and realized I had never been roller skating. And although life hasn’t been easy lately, here I am cracking myself up. It’s totally been worth it!”
Talk about a great reminder, for all of us! Even when life is tough we can choose to smile.
But so many of us don’t…
ONE THING YOU GAIN WHEN YOU LET GO OF CONTROL
Yesterday I met up with an old friend, someone whom I care about deeply but have internally struggled with for years because I’ve always been worried about her health.
I want to help her heal, because I feel I’m losing her.
I want to teach her the time-tested tools for living a happier, simpler, healthier life that I’ve helped so many other people with — so she can give up her addictions, take up exercise and mindfulness, nurture her needs, and suddenly be transformed into a healthy person again.
FAILED MARRIAGE AND RECOVERY
Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32 NIV)
As I have said before, in working with divorced people over the years I have found that far too many divorcees are adept at primarily blaming their partner for the failure of their marriage. Most fail to see what they contributed to the breakup. I once did too.
Before marriage, many of us prayed that we would find the right partner when what we needed to pray was that we would be the right person. As much as many hate the following statement: we are as sick as the people we are attracted to—especially romantically. For those who want a more positive statement we could put it this way: we are as healthy as the people we are attracted to. In other words, if we want to have a healthy and mature marriage, we need to be a healthy and mature person.
HAVE YOU COMMITTED TO A CONTEMPT-FREE MARRIAGE?
The absence of delight in your partner creates an emptiness in a marriage that ruins love. According to Dr. Gottman’s research on long-lasting marriages, the number one predictor as to whether a marriage would last was the presence or absence of contempt.
The music of marriage continues to play as partners dance to the beats of love and respect. But if the drums of respect leave and the sirens of contempt enters, the capacity for communication no longer exists.
Chase: We bought you a new car two years ago and you rarely take care of it. I wash my truck every week.
Heather: It’s hard for me to wash my car.
Chase: I wash my truck and it’s bigger than your car.
Heather: Would you help me?
Chase: Do you help me wash my car?
Heather: I haven’t yet, but I’d help you if you help me.
Chase: Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m not a little princess who believes she can treat her things poorly and then go out a buy a new car every few years. Go back to your castle.
THERE ARE TWO VIEWS TO EVERY CONFLICT AND BOTH ARE VALID
Heather’s voice raises as she says, “How can you not see it my way? It’s the truth and you know it. You’re just too stubborn to admit it!”
Jason responds, “That’s not what happened at all. How can you not see that? I’m right, you’re wrong. You admit it!”
I step in, “Hey, I’m going to stop you guys because it feels like we’re missing each other.”
They both look at me as Heather says, “Well… Who’s right? Me or him?”
“You both are. Let me explain.”
THE JOURNEY IS SO SHORT!
A young lady sat in public transport. An elderly grumpy lady came and sat by her as she bumped into her with her numerous bags. The other neighbor got upset, asking the young lady why she did not protest and insist on her rights. She responded with a smile: “It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant! I’ll alight at the next stop; our journey together is so short,” replied the young lady.
Here’s a response which deserves to be written in GOLDEN letters in our daily behaviours and everywhere:
“It is not necessary to argue over something so insignificant. Our journey together is so short!”