1 Thing Unhappy People Refuse To Do For Themselves

1 THING UNHAPPY PEOPLE REFUSE TO DO FOR THEMSELVES

Angel Chernoff

Life is really hard sometimes. There’s no escaping that reality. It’s impossible to live well without encountering a certain level of struggle, and there are some seasons in our lives that are especially heartbreaking.

For Marc and me, one such season occurred over the course of 15 months when we were in our late-20’s. It was a period of profound loss, beginning when we lost our jobs and our house in the downturn of the economy. It started out as a financially scary and uncertain time for our family. Worry seeped into everyday life. “Unhappiness” is the simplest word to describe it.

Then, as we were learning to navigate our new reality, we were hit with a devastating loss: the death of a mutual best friend from sudden cardiac arrest. The loss of such a key figure in our lives was intense! We were absolutely devastated and knocked down to what seemed like the lowest of lows for weeks on end. And just as we were beginning to get back on our feet, my older brother died by suicide.

Read more

13 Happy Things You Need for a Perfectly Happy Life!

happy life

13 HAPPY THINGS YOU NEED FOR A PERFECTLY HAPPY LIFE!

Elizabeth Arthur

Wondering how to have a happy life? You don’t need too much to get that perfect life. All you need are just these 13 happy things, and nothing more!

A happy life is the dream, isn’t it?

That’s what all of us want.

We struggle and toil day in and day out, with the hope of abundant happiness in the future.

But what if I told you that a happy life is just right around the corner?

What if you could attain it as soon as you read this feature or within a few weeks?

It’s true, really.

Read more

Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

Read more

Sabotaging Your Happiness: 12 Ways You Can Ruin Your Life

find happiness

SABOTAGING YOUR HAPPINESS: 12 WAYS YOU CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and more, yet still be dissatisfied and unhappy with your life. But what can you do to change that?

If you feel down in the dumps about yourself, it’s probably because you have habits, attitudes, and actions that are hindering you from being the best person that you can be. In fact, these things can even ruin you and your chances of happiness. Find out how you might be ruining your own life and the things you can do to stop this from happening.

You are ruining your own life…

#1 By being lazy. It’s natural to be lazy, but it can help tremendously if you keep yourself motivated and driven. Putting off things by procrastinating or not going after what you really want because of the effort it entails is the definition of laziness. This attitude holds you back from progress and growth, whether in your career or your personal life.

Read more

A New Appreciation for Anxiety

A NEW APPRECIATION FOR ANXIETY

LaVerna Wilk

Anxiety is an interesting animal. There is nothing fun about it, no one enjoys a rapid heart rate, the hit of adrenaline, the racing thoughts – no one would choose panic attacks. Yet, there seems to be something perversely protective about anxiety at times.

I know that sounds crazy, even to me, but hear me out.

I made an observation one day as I was doing Neurotherapy with a client. We had her hooked up to a monitor and we were training her Theta/Beta ratio at the back of her head. Together we observed that as her brainwaves were learning to cope better with anxiety and reduce her symptoms, that her anxiety was actually increasing.  As we talked about this she stated that, inside her, it almost felt like we were “storming the castle” so to speak, and that there was an urge to hold on to the anxiety and resist the changes we were trying to achieve. As we began to explore that, she was eventually able to articulate that while she didn’t enjoy her anxiety and the limits it imposed on her life, in theory there were ways in which it was almost soothing and at times protective.  Her symptoms included anxiety about traffic and specifically about being in an accident. When she absolutely had to go somewhere with her husband she would have large reactions to imagined “near misses” at intersections, and was obsessed with watching the rear-view mirror so she would be able to warn him if they were about to get rear ended, etc. She had lived with these symptoms for so long that she had become quite accustomed to simply telling people, “No, I can’t go to the concert/movies/mall because my anxieties have been quite high lately”.  What we discovered after much digging, was that her anxieties kept her vigilant, not only for actual threats to her safety, but imagined ones as well.

Read more

P is for Problems

Image result for picture of parking sign

P IS FOR PROBLEMS

Zach Brittle

John Gottman’s research revealed that about ⅔ of relationship problems are unsolvable. One of my favorite questions for couples is whether that statistic is discouraging or encouraging. Think about that for a second. Does the idea that 69% of your issues are not going away bum you out? Or does it give you hope?

Most couples I know are frustrated by the fact that most of their problems are unsolvable. It’s hard to have the same battles over and over again. My personal bias, however, is that I’m glad to know that we’re normal. My wife and I spent way too much time arguing over the fact that we were having the same fight that we ultimately forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.

Dr. Gottman has said that the number one thing that couples fight about is nothing. I can vouch for this. This past weekend, my wife and I got into an argument over fruit flies. It was really stupid. Later, when our older daughter (age 11) was explaining the argument to her sister (age 7), she said, “It’s never about the fruit flies.” Indeed. What’s it about then?

Read more

Being Brave Together

Fear

BEING BRAVE TOGETHER

Famifi

We all want fearless kids, right? Little people who can jump off high dives, check under their own beds for monsters, and brave their way through Halloween night. So how do we help them build up the resilience they’re going to need to do just that?

Developing our kids’ internal compass

Kara Fic leans on lessons learned from her own childhood as she now raises two daughters, one of whom was recently heading out the door on her first solo commute to a school across town. Kara says she slipped her camping compass into the 11-year-old’s hand as she ventured out: “She’s ready for this new challenge,” says Kara, “but it’s still a big city. The compass is really just there as a backup in case she gets disoriented—and as a reminder that she’s navigated denser forests than this.”

Kara refers to the many campouts her family has taken together over the years when her daughters were first earning their stripes as Girl Scouts—and teaching the boys a thing or two about bravery in the process. Bears, bees, rain and rations toughened up the girls, Kara explains, as they did during her own Girl Scout days. She’s happy about how her daughters’ wilderness training now spills over into their city life—and into their fear management in general.

Read more

8 Positive Ways to Deal with Rejection in Any Scenario

ways to deal with rejection

8 POSITIVE WAYS TO DEAL WITH REJECTION IN ANY SCENARIO

Team LovePanky

No one wants to face rejection, but we must learn to handle it. Whether it’s from your job, your partner, or someone else, here’s how to get by.

Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. You start off by working your butt off to achieve something, whether it’s a date with someone, a job, or a promotion. Then, for some reason, you get turned down. Sometimes the way you get turned down is downright harsh and ego-shattering, but there are also times when you’re given a little encouragement to try again, or work just a little bit harder.

How to handle being rejected

In the end, you still need to be able to move on from getting rejected. Yes, we know it’s easier said than done. But to help you through this tough time, we’ve got some tips for how you can deal with rejection.

Read more

11 Tips to Fall in Love with Yourself and be a Better YOU

fall in love with yourself

11 TIPS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF AND BE A BETTER YOU

Team LovePanky

Do you ever feel like you’re not happy being who you are? At times, feeling lonely and all alone may be a reflection of how you feel on the inside. Find out how to love yourself, have better relationships and a better life.

In life, there are times when we feel like a failure.

But that’s no reason to hate yourself or think you’re no good.

Understanding how to love yourself can help you cope with failure and rebuild your confidence, and enjoy a better life.

There may be many reasons behind why you don’t love yourself, all the way from being overweight to not getting attention from others to repeated failures.

Read more

12 Simple Things You Do to Make Your Life Much Worse

make your life worse

12 SIMPLE THINGS YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MUCH WORSE

Lakeisha Ethans

Has life been unfair to you? You may think the issue is external, but the problem is in you. These are 12 things you do to make your life worse.

A lot of people, at some point in time, feel that life is being unfair to them. I feel that, too, at times and to avoid feeling depressed, I constantly struggle and challenge myself to accomplish milestones. After a lot of thought, I realized that the problem was coming from me, and not the world around me. You should remember that your outcomes in life depend on how you think and act. This clearly means that a positive attitude toward life is exactly what makes life easier to deal with. But, of course, we don’t know that until life hits us with lemons!

Expectations and the role they play

Let’s imagine that you’re holding a big, ripe apple in your hand. You take a bite to taste it. You know how an apple is supposed to taste, so when the big, juicy apple is bland and mealy, you grimace. You feel disappointed, and may even toss the apple into the compost pile.

Read more

%d bloggers like this: