BROKEN AFTER SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER WOMAN, SHE THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT REVENGE
She asked, “Should I sleep with the man who decided to marry another after we had three children?”
We called her Nani. She was a beautiful Khasi woman. I met her in Shillong, Meghalaya, while working there in a high school. It was my first opportunity to see a matrilineal society. I was observing the relationship of couples from a different angle. Being a woman from a patriarchal society, it was not easy for me to understand their thoughts, emotions and behaviour. But I was trying.
I met Nani regularly in a local market, where she sold dry fish and vegetables. Her bright smile and hard working nature made me her admirer. We started talking and soon became friends.In spite of coming from different backgrounds, sharing our personal thoughts, plans,and sorrows was no more an odd thing between us. She was totally independent. Many times I experienced her kindness – when a poor boy needed his school fees or an unmarried mother needed a shelter with her baby. I was deeply touched and inspired by her. And one day,suddenly, she opened the painful pages of her life tome.
“WE WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED BUT SHE CHEATED ON ME”
The story of a man who was cheated and broke off his engagement and is rebuilding his life
We never imagine that something terrible can happen to us until it actually does. Was I a fool to think everlasting love exists? Was honesty too much to ask for? Should she not have just told me and moved on with dignity?
Engaged to be married, I caught my fiancé cheating and decided to call the wedding off.
It’s not easy when you share the workplace with your ex and I feel like all eyes are on me and all minds trying to sort out the Gordian knot that my personal life has suddenly become. It’s been two months and I haven’t seen her in the office. It bothers me to think what story she may have spun to explain what happened between us, especially when I get cold stares from her friends.
WHEN MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME, I DECIDED TO SHOW MORE LOVE
He loved her honesty until he discovered the biggest lie. How did he bring her back to him?
(Names changed to protect identities)
I first met Mili when we were in the second year of college. She played Desdemona, the breathtaking beauty killed by her suspicious husband Othello. She gave perfect shape to the character on stage during our college fest. Little did I know that almost two decades later she would drive me to the pinnacles of suspicion.
Mili was pursuing a degree in literature at Jadavpur University, while I was doing engineering. It was not just her beauty that attracted me but her infectious personality. Everything about her seemed to be honest. The more we got to know each other through common friends, the more I realised she was someone who spoke straight from her heart and never tried to hide her feelings or emotions. I told myself, if a woman were this frank, she would always make the best and honest life partner. I was open to her thoughts and respected her views and honesty.
HAVE I FORGIVEN MY HUSBAND FOR HIS AFFAIR?
Theirs was a love marriage and everything seemed ideal until one day she discovered the truth
(Names changed to protect identities)
Having moved from Mumbai to South India for work, I was in a pensive mood most days, until, like a fairy tale, Harish walked into my life.
He was senior to me. Not handsome at first glance but a certain charisma made people steal a second glance. I was a shy and docile girl and didn’t take the first step forward, but knew he was attracted to me when he kept finding excuses to come and talk to me over coffee breaks and lunches. Gradually we started going out for movies and to malls over weekends.
My 24th birthday will forever be etched in my memory. Never had anyone made me feel so special. He threw a party inviting all our close friends, took out a diamond ring and knelt down and proposed marriage. I couldn’t be happier. We got married and started living with his parents in Chennai.
WAS YOUR SPOUSE UNFAITHFUL TO YOU? 5 THINGS YOU MUST DO TO HEAL FROM THE INFIDELITY
Trust me, it’s going to get better.
Uncovering an infidelity is heartbreaking and recovering can be even harder. At first you may be shocked and confused. Then you could become enraged and volatile. Disintegrating into a deep depression, becoming paralyzed and numb, or ignoring the incident all together are also typical responses. But healthier methods for moving forward together or apart are available.
Here are five ways to get yourself back on track and heal after your partner has been unfaithful.
YOU KILLED A FOWL
As a kid I liked playing with stones, till one day I threw one and it hit and killed my mother’s fowl instantly. I thought I was alone but, surprisingly, my sister was right behind me watching. Then she said, “Give me N100 and I won’t tell Mum.”
I said, “I don’t have the money but please don’t tell her, she will beat me.”
The following day Mum told my sister to wash the plates and sweep the compound. To my surprise she answered, “Mum, TOM said he will do it.” She then came to me and said, “TOM, you wash the plates and sweep the compound or else… Don’t forget you killed a fowl.”
THE POWER OF ‘I AM SORRY’
I am sorry, a short but mighty sentence!
If you wish to live long, don’t joke with this short sentence, I am sorry. Do you know how many people who have gone to early grave because they neglected the therapeutic power of I am sorry?
Most of the troubles in most homes are heightened because wives are too big to say I am sorry to their husbands and you can trust the ego of husbands in saying same to their wives.
HOW FORGIVENESS CAN TRANSFORM YOUR MARRIAGE
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW
Recent studies have shown that forgiveness is an essential component of successful romantic relationships. In fact, the capacity to seek and grant forgiveness is one of the most significant factors contributing to marital satisfaction and a lifetime of love.
Forgiving yourself and others is about being willing to acknowledge that you are capable of being wounded. It also means that you are willing to step out from the role of victim and take charge of your life.
Couples who practice forgiveness can rid themselves of the toxic hurt and shame that holds them back from feeling connected to each other. In The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman explains that emotional attunement is a skill that allows couples to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, and ultimately create a stronger bond.
THE GIFT OF TRUE FORGIVENESS
It’s hard to believe there are only a few more days until Christmas. Yes, as the song says: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” It really is wonderful! We are flooded with Christmas music, Christmas lights, and lots of Christmas “activities.” And although the season contains many distractions which attempt to pull us away, we generally make time to gather with family and friends and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.
But many will find this time of year to be very painful. The memories of past hurt, which may remain hidden throughout the year, are now driven to the surface. Many are required to face someone who has caused them pain, or face the memory of a past Christmas which brings the person, and pain, back into view.
Obviously, this is not the turmoil which God intends for our life…especially not as we celebrate the birth of His Son.
BEFORE YOU CHEAT: 14 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW
Before you consider cheating on your spouse, here are 14 things you should know.
It seems that every three months or so we learn of another celebrity caught cheating on his or her spouse. To say adultery is an epidemic in our current culture is an understatement. And it doesn’t seem to be a respecter of position. Regardless of what we do for a living, (politicians, pastors, teachers, athletes, actors, musicians, etc.) cheaters are in our midst. It seems to be so prevalent today that the question isn’t who is cheating but rather – who isn’t?
Too many treat their most important relationships casually and their commitments to them as optional. Our microwave society mentality (quick and easy) has infiltrated our most sacred institution, marriage. Many cheaters try to justify their reasons for infidelity. To a cheater, their reasons make sense. Perfect sense. To those who have never strayed they just don’t understand why.