5 Reasons why partners drift apart

what is love?


Mayowa Durojaye

Ever wondered why a relationship that was seemingly going smoothly then takes a bad turn?

The reasons why partners drift apart is no brain teaser at all as they differ in various relationships but there are some reasons that cut across most relationships. The drifting apart might take some time to unfold but what is important is to tackle the issues before it is too late.

Here are the five most common reasons couples drift apart and what you can do to avoid or, as the case may be, correct these issues in your own relationship.

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Why can’t you forgive?


I always tell myself that when you live your life without anyone hurting, disappointing, disgracing or offending you, then it means you never did anything worthy.

I want to tell you that there are so many people who are buried daily, and their crime is that someone they offended couldn’t forgive them.

There are innocent orphans and street children out there whose crime is that someone didn’t forgive their parents.

The reality is that even as you read this piece, there may be someone you have blocked on WhatsApp or Facebook, or you have decided not to respond to his/her posts/messages and the person’s crime is that he/she is naughty, broke your heart, disappointed you or said something that really offended you. You haven’t been talking to your roommate, an old friend, a family member, your ex or that special friend, because they offended you and you can’t forgive them.

Yes, I really understand you, they hurt you. He/she is annoying, rude and not worthy to be part of your life. However, my questions are:
Do you expect someone to forgive you if you can’t forgive others?
Do you think you have never offended anyone before?

The beauty of life is that it comes with disappointments and offences from people you least expect.

Unfortunately some of us spend so much time on the disappointments and offences and end up becoming victims of all circumstances.

Remember this one thing always: Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, as Richard Innes rightly said.

The fact is that the world is full of annoying, naughty and ungrateful people; you will always come across them during the gentle stroll of your lifespan, but the best thing to do is to deal with them with love and maturity. You can’t get everyone to behave like you. Never!!!

Hatred and intolerance have caused many of the world’s problems and have solved none of them. We must learn to tolerate and forgive one another. We must bury the faults of others and move on with life.

As you read this piece, I beseech you to take the pain and forgive that special person you have grudges against and iron out your grievances. Muster the courage and apologize to that person you have offended. The clock is ticking, man is ageing, the grave is calling and we are not in charge. Life is short, you don’t know how much time you have left.

If I have at anytime hurt, offended, disappointed, disgraced, oppressed or cheated you knowingly or unknowingly, please find a place in your heart to forgive me. And may God Almighty forgive all of us!

Live life to please God.

11 Things You Need To Feel Secure In A Relationship


Do you feel secure in your relationship? If your answer is yes, there’s nothing like it, but if you are struggling to find an answer, you’ve come to the right place. We often fall in love because we are attracted to someone, but a long-term relationship needs to survive the very real demands of living together. Hence, it’s important to know what things you need to feel secure about in a relationship and that’s exactly where we come in. Read on and find out.

1. Don’t Compare Your Partner To Your Ex

11 Things You Need To Feel Secure In A Relationship

Remember what happened when Ross compared Rachel with the woman he slept with? They broke up and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t compare your partner with any of your exes. Different people have different approaches towards life and comparing them is just not fair.

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One Daily Reminder That Will Calm The Chaos In Your Life


Angel Chernoff

Life can be hectic; sometimes chaos surrounds us in every imaginable direction.

But just because the world around us is in disarray, doesn’t mean the world within us has to be too.

That’s right, I’m saying there’s a way to stay sane in insane times. I’m saying you can get rid of all the insanity inside you created by others, the past, and uncontrollable events…

Just by being a simple witness of your thoughts.

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The Healing Power of Forgiveness


Dale Archer

The families of slain church members teach us a lesson in forgiveness.

In Charleston, South Carolina, nine black people were killed while attending Bible study. On Wednesday June 17, 2015, Dylann Roof, a white man, asked to join the Bible study group. He was welcomed with open arms. There was no black or white issue; this was a place of worship—this was God’s house. For the next hour Roof was an active participant within the group. And then, the unthinkable. He stood, pulled out a .45-caliber handgun, and said he was there “to shoot black people.” Thus began one of the worst American hate crimes of our generation. In the end, eight people died at the church, and one died in a hospital.

The deaths of these people in such a brutal and vicious fashion, and Roof’s stated wish of starting a race war, seemed not only a possibility but a probability, up until his arraignment. Only 60 hours after the shooting, one by one, family members addressed Roof saying how much they missed their loved ones, and then, miraculously, said they forgave him. For those who chose to speak directly to Roof, here is what the family members of the deceased said. We could not see their faces, but their voices rang loud and their message was deafening:

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After Cheating: Restoring Relationship Trust



Robert Weiss

After so many lies and secrets, can trust ever be restored?

How do you define infidelity? Does looking at porn count as cheating? What about webcam sex? If you play around on hookup apps but never actually hook up in person, are you cheating? If you’re chatting with an old flame on social media, is that a form of infidelity? What about playing virtual-reality sex games?

Do you think that you and your partner might have different ideas about the behaviors that do and don’t qualify as infidelity? With all of the uncertainty about what does and does not qualify as cheating, it’s high time we had a universal, digital-era definition. And here it is, as it appears in my book, Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating:

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How Forgiveness Can Transform Your Marriage


Terry Gaspard

Recent studies have shown that forgiveness is an essential component of successful romantic relationships. In fact, the capacity to seek and grant forgiveness is one of the most significant factors contributing to marital satisfaction and a lifetime of love.

Forgiving yourself and others is about being willing to acknowledge that you are capable of being wounded. It also means that you are willing to step out from the role of victim and take charge of your life.

Couples who practice forgiveness can rid themselves of the toxic hurt and shame that holds them back from feeling connected to each other. In The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman explains that emotional attunement is a skill that allows couples to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, and ultimately create a stronger bond.

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Forgive yourself and make room for happiness in your life


Shannon Symonds

Feeling weighed down by your past mistakes? Learn to forgive yourself and put down the burden of shame and blame. Forgive yourself and create space in your life for joy.

Imagine that everything you have ever done wrong is a rock. For example you have a nice, round one-pound smooth rock and you see written on it, “Told a lie.” You also have a rock that is labeled, “Didn’t report income to the government,” or “Yelled at kids.” Now take all of your imaginary rocks and put them in your pockets and hold them while you read this article.

We are often harder on ourselves than anybody else. When someone compliments us, we can’t take it in. We feel unworthy of love and sometimes punish ourselves internally. If we had an actual rock for each mistake, sin or misdeed we felt responsible for, we could build a large rock wall and fence ourselves in, shamed and hidden from the world.

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5 ways to start over after the abuse has ended


Danica Trebel

Betrayed by the abuse of the one person you trusted with every aspect of your life, you wonder if the day will ever come when forgiveness will replace the pain. These concepts can help you forgive your husband as well as heal in the process.

Marriage is one of life’s most sacred relationships. It’s built on love, trust and the promise of “till death do you part.” But when you’re betrayed by the abuse of the one person you trusted with every aspect of your life, you wonder if the day will ever come when forgiveness will replace the pain and the devastation you’ve suffered at the hand of your husband.

Forgiveness is choosing to release yourself from the pain, bitterness and shame of the past in order to live a happier, healthier life now. It in no way excuses the wrong you endured or requires you to stay in an unsafe situation. It does, however, have the power to reshape your perspective, your life and your marriage, and it now places that very power in your own hands.

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Repairs During Conflict are a Superpower of Emotionally Connected Couple


Kyle Benson


When you think about it, every couple in every relationship is set up for failure. It is impossible to be emotionally available to your partner 100 percent of the time. In fact, you will miss most of your partner’s bids for emotional connection out of mindlessness.

But failure is not the problem. Even a mother who failed to be responsive and available 50 percent of the time can raise a child to be a healthy adult who has healthy relationships. According to psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, the difference between “good mothers and bad mothers is not the omission of errors but what they do with them.” How a child copes with everyday failures and fluctuations is directly related to the degree in which their parent creates an environment for a secure attachment bond and how that parent repairs their errors.

This is no different in our romantic relationships. The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is not that happy couples don’t make mistakes. We all do. How couples handle conflict resolution is what separates the relationship Masters from the Disasters.

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