8 Things Healthy Couples Don’t Do

8 THINGS HEALTHY COUPLES DON’T DO

Aaron & April Jacob

We all want to have the “model,” marriage (does that even exist?!), and so we find couples we admire to model our own marriages after.

As important as it is to notice the positive things those couples do, it’s equally important to recognize what they don’t do. Check out this list to see 8 specific things healthy couples don’t do.

1. Expect Perfection

Healthy couples with healthy relationships are real. They understand that everyone is a work in progress, and they don’t expect perfection from their spouse. Rather than worrying about all their spouse’s faults, they focus on improving themselves. Once you’ve reached perfection yourself, then you can begin to expect a little more and start coaching your spouse…but until then, healthy couples choose to look inward.

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10 Ways of Showing Complete Fidelity in Marriage

10 WAYS OF SHOWING COMPLETE FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

Nurturing Marriage

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fidelity as both “the quality or state of being faithful,” along with being “[accurate and exact] in details.” When it comes to fidelity in marriage, the details really do matter. Through small and simple things, you can show your spouse that you are completely committed to them, and to your marriage.

Fidelity in marriage demands 100% commitment and prioritizing your spouse above all else. Will that take effort? Work? Sacrifice? Yes, yes, and yes! But, the reward is far sweeter than any price you may feel you have to pay. Loyalty & fidelity are vital to a happy, healthy, safe, and lasting marriage. Loyalty is the foundation of true love. When you show your loyalty through these 10 ways, your spouse will feel safe and secure with you and with your marriage.

1. Loyal spouses are respectful of each other – in private and in person. 

These are the 5 types of people who betray most, according to science

THESE ARE THE 5 TYPES OF PEOPLE WHO BETRAY MOST, ACCORDING TO SCIENCE

Rachel De Castro

You will be surprised! I did not expect to see number four on this list.

Betrayal can be a big factor when it comes to divorce or breakups. But betrayal doesn’t have to apply only to psychical acts— there are several types.

According to Matthew Hussey, author and “love life strategist,” cheating is “whatever the two of you have decided is beyond the boundary of what is OK.” Betraying can be physical or emotional.

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5 Habits of Emotionally Wealthy Marriages

5 HABITS OF EMOTIONALLY WEALTHY MARRIAGES

Kyle Benson

emotional bank accountIt turns out the number one thing couples fight about is nothing.

This not-so-earth-shattering discovery was made in Dr. Gottman’s Love Lab after spending more than 40 years studying over 3,000 couples. These couples were not arguing about specific topics like sex, money, or in-laws. They were fighting about the failure to connect emotionally.

Every couple has what Dr. Gottman calls an Emotional Bank Account. When we turn towards our partner’s bids for connection, we make a deposit. When we turn away, we make a withdrawal. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble.

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Trust and Betrayal: What Makes Love Last?

TRUST AND BETRAYAL: WHAT MAKES LOVE LAST?

By Jillian Raftery

Dr. John Gottman has found that there are two key ingredients in the success or failure of any relationship: trust and betrayal.

Bill Radke wanted to get deeper into these topics with psychologist Dr. John Gottman, author of “What Makes Love Last?” about what separates healthy relationships from struggling ones.

Dr. Gottman, co-founder of Seattle’s Gottman Relationship Institute, has spent 40 years studying the way couples interact. He says his basic method is to bring them into his Love Lab to observe them for 24 hours just doing what they normally do. Dr. Gottman follows up with these couples, studying some relationships for as long as 20 years.

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One Wife’s Journey to Save Her Marriage After an Affair

ONE WIFES JOURNEY TO SAVE HER MARRIAGE AFTER AN AFFAIR

Rich Nicastro

Healing from an affair

In my role as psychologist and couples counselor, I work with many couples whose lives have been turned inside-out over an affair. Many of them want to heal from the wounds infidelity caused, and many of them do ultimately heal.

Despite the fact that I have many years’ experience working with individuals who have been unfaithful and, on the other side, individuals who have been deeply hurt by the betrayal, my perspective is from the therapist’s chair. Many find it helpful to hear from others who have walked in their shoes, those who know first-hand what it’s like to deal with the emotional upheaval caused by the betrayal of an affair.

In the spirit of that, I am pleased to introduce you to a guest blogger who has that personal perspective.

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Saving a Marriage after an Affair: A Wife’s Story (Part 2)

Affair Recovery Round Rock Texas

SAVING A MARRIAGE AFTER AN AFFAIR: A WIFE’S STORY (PART 2)

Valerie

I didn’t set out to forgive him.

Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have ever been able to. Maybe having that goal—forgiving my husband for betraying me, for forsaking our vows, for wounding me more deeply than I have ever been wounded before or since—right from the outset would’ve prevented me from taking care of myself, really taking care of myself to the point where I only thought about what was best for me and for the kids and didn’t think of him at all.

Only after I gave myself the space for that kind of sustained self-care was I able to think about whether or not there was a “we” worth fighting for, or whether Tim had shattered it when he made the decision to start an affair, and then the series of ongoing decisions to keep the affair going.

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Most cheating husbands DO NOT leave their wives – here are 5 reasons why

MOST CHEATING HUSBANDS DO NOT LEAVE THEIR WIVES – HERE ARE 5 REASONS WHY

Mariel Reimann
Why don’t they leave? These experts’ answers will leave you thinking…

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Healing from Sexual Betrayal

HEALING FROM SEXUAL BETRAYAL

Sexual betrayal threatens the most sacred aspect of a couple’s relationship.Sexual-Betrayal-Counseling-Denver All other aspects of the partnership may overlap with other relationships: recreation, exercise, work, intellectual pursuits, and even spiritual growth. But the sexual relationship is the safe harbor that is supposed to be “our exclusive place… just for us.”Sexual betrayal is felt as deep rejection and even abandonment. The feeling is, “By that behavior you demonstrate that you can’t possibly love me.” But couples show up in therapy because there is still a shred of hope that a life together is possible. Often, the betrayed partner enters therapy emotionally devastated by sexual betrayal but believing they must do whatever possible to keep the family together for the sake of the children.

An initial couple’s session gives the therapist an opportunity to see how the couple is processing the pain in the marriage. Does the betraying partner take responsibility for the behavior or get defensive or blaming? Can the betraying person demonstrate empathy for the partner’s pain and anger? Can the betrayed partner express the pain of the betrayal or simply attack the partner or, still worse, melt into self-recrimination? Can the betrayed person begin to express what he/she needs from the partner?

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The Power of Your Wedding Vows

THE POWER OF YOUR WEDDING VOWS

Bryan Striegler

The words we speak are so important. They have so much value and weight, and can change the people around us including ourselves and our spouses.

A few kind words can bring a smile to someone’s face or a few judgmental words can destroy someone.

No words are more important to a marriage than the wedding vows. They are your promises to the one you love and the one you plan on spending your entire life with. They are something that shouldn’t be broken.

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