An initial couple’s session gives the therapist an opportunity to see how the couple is processing the pain in the marriage. Does the betraying partner take responsibility for the behavior or get defensive or blaming? Can the betraying person demonstrate empathy for the partner’s pain and anger? Can the betrayed partner express the pain of the betrayal or simply attack the partner or, still worse, melt into self-recrimination? Can the betrayed person begin to express what he/she needs from the partner?
The words we speak are so important. They have so much value and weight, and can change the people around us including ourselves and our spouses.
A few kind words can bring a smile to someone’s face or a few judgmental words can destroy someone.
No words are more important to a marriage than the wedding vows. They are your promises to the one you love and the one you plan on spending your entire life with. They are something that shouldn’t be broken.
Aaron & April Jacob
For Emma, it all started when she finally got on Facebook. Her kids had been asking her to set up an account for years, but she was more reserved and didn’t feel like she would have many friends to connect with online. When she joined, she added her extended family, neighbors, and a few friends from her local mom’s club—but that was it.
After a few months, she reconnected with most of her old high school friends, including her old boyfriend Bob.She hadn’t seen or heard from him in many years and found herself excited to accept his friend request.Once connected, Emma spent hours pouring over the pictures of Bob and his family. She thought to herself, What a handsome guy he still is. Her husband, Rich, on the other hand, had let himself go. So when she saw pictures of Bob and all the good things he was accomplishing, she was a bit envious.
BROKEN AFTER SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER WOMAN, SHE THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT REVENGE
She asked, “Should I sleep with the man who decided to marry another after we had three children?”
We called her Nani. She was a beautiful Khasi woman. I met her in Shillong, Meghalaya, while working there in a high school. It was my first opportunity to see a matrilineal society. I was observing the relationship of couples from a different angle. Being a woman from a patriarchal society, it was not easy for me to understand their thoughts, emotions and behaviour. But I was trying.
I met Nani regularly in a local market, where she sold dry fish and vegetables. Her bright smile and hard working nature made me her admirer. We started talking and soon became friends.In spite of coming from different backgrounds, sharing our personal thoughts, plans,and sorrows was no more an odd thing between us. She was totally independent. Many times I experienced her kindness – when a poor boy needed his school fees or an unmarried mother needed a shelter with her baby. I was deeply touched and inspired by her. And one day,suddenly, she opened the painful pages of her life tome.
“WE WERE ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED BUT SHE CHEATED ON ME”
The story of a man who was cheated and broke off his engagement and is rebuilding his life
We never imagine that something terrible can happen to us until it actually does. Was I a fool to think everlasting love exists? Was honesty too much to ask for? Should she not have just told me and moved on with dignity?
Engaged to be married, I caught my fiancé cheating and decided to call the wedding off.
It’s not easy when you share the workplace with your ex and I feel like all eyes are on me and all minds trying to sort out the Gordian knot that my personal life has suddenly become. It’s been two months and I haven’t seen her in the office. It bothers me to think what story she may have spun to explain what happened between us, especially when I get cold stares from her friends.
WHEN MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME, I DECIDED TO SHOW MORE LOVE
He loved her honesty until he discovered the biggest lie. How did he bring her back to him?
(Names changed to protect identities)
I first met Mili when we were in the second year of college. She played Desdemona, the breathtaking beauty killed by her suspicious husband Othello. She gave perfect shape to the character on stage during our college fest. Little did I know that almost two decades later she would drive me to the pinnacles of suspicion.
Mili was pursuing a degree in literature at Jadavpur University, while I was doing engineering. It was not just her beauty that attracted me but her infectious personality. Everything about her seemed to be honest. The more we got to know each other through common friends, the more I realised she was someone who spoke straight from her heart and never tried to hide her feelings or emotions. I told myself, if a woman were this frank, she would always make the best and honest life partner. I was open to her thoughts and respected her views and honesty.
HAVE I FORGIVEN MY HUSBAND FOR HIS AFFAIR?
Theirs was a love marriage and everything seemed ideal until one day she discovered the truth
(Names changed to protect identities)
Having moved from Mumbai to South India for work, I was in a pensive mood most days, until, like a fairy tale, Harish walked into my life.
He was senior to me. Not handsome at first glance but a certain charisma made people steal a second glance. I was a shy and docile girl and didn’t take the first step forward, but knew he was attracted to me when he kept finding excuses to come and talk to me over coffee breaks and lunches. Gradually we started going out for movies and to malls over weekends.
My 24th birthday will forever be etched in my memory. Never had anyone made me feel so special. He threw a party inviting all our close friends, took out a diamond ring and knelt down and proposed marriage. I couldn’t be happier. We got married and started living with his parents in Chennai.
WHY INFIDELITY AND DIVORCE ARE MORE AMONG AFRICAN COUPLES
Whoever says most African couples are not romantic is absolutely telling the truth.
Many marriages are just about sleeping, waking, eating, cooking, raising the kids, working and ageing together till death comes.
Many couples only hug each other when they receive good news.
How to deal with your husband looking at other women
- When I was little, I would watch my father. When we would walk down a street and there was a beautiful woman, he would always watch her closely. Even though his daughters and wife were present, he didn’t mind.My mother didn’t seem to care too much, either. However, since I had the tendency to be jealous, I told myself I would never let my husband look at other women like that in front of me.
I’m fortunate to have a good, respectful man. However, I have caught my husband a few times looking at another woman and we’ve had great discussions about it. After talking it through and explaining our feelings, we were able to understand each other. I know my husband loves me, but that doesn’t mean he can’t notice the people around him. There’s nothing a good, respectful conversation can’t solve.
10 TEXTS A MARRIED MAN SHOULD NEVER SEND
They don’t feel dangerous, but these texts can completely ruin your marriage and happiness.
Men, you love your wife, and you would never try to intentionally hurt her. But these 11 seemingly innocent texts can damage, or completely destroy, even the healthiest relationship if left unchecked.
1. Checking in on your ex-girlfriend