8 WARNING SIGNS SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS A HIGHLY FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC
Picture an alcoholic. What comes to mind? Someone who can’t hold on to a job, someone who alienates everyone in their life, or maybe someone who’s lost it all, sitting somewhere on a curb drinking out of a brown paper bag?
Forget what you think you know about alcoholism. It’s a complex disease that affects everyone a little bit differently. You can have a great job and still be an alcoholic. You can hold your life together and still be an alcoholic. Here’s what to watch out for:
1. They don’t think they have a problem.
Often times, because there are such seriously negative stereotypes surrounding people who are alcoholics, functional alcoholics don’t believe they have a problem. They hold their lives together and do great at work. “So what if I have a few beers after work?” The truth is, functional alcoholism is still alcoholism.
THE 5 TYPES OF COUPLES
Drawing from over four decades of research data, Dr. John Gottman has been able to categorize couples into five types: Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, Volatile, Hostile, and Hostile-Detached. In his new book Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, Dr. Gottman uses love equations to explain his findings. The three happy couple types (Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, and Volatile) come from Harold Raush’s landmark book Communication, Conflict, and Marriage, in which Raush analyzes interactions between partners to discriminate happily from unhappily married couples. Each type is very different from the others, and each type of couple has its benefits and risks. Of the two unhappy couple types Dr. Gottman identified in his lab, Hostile couples stayed unhappily married, while Hostile-Detached couples eventually divorced. Do you know what type you are?
THE HABIT OF CRITICISM IS POISONOUS TO ANY RELATIONSHIP
No one wants to stay in a relationship that makes them feel more judged than admired. Yet, it’s too common for couples to see the other person as the problem.
And since the other partner is the problem, the only solution is for them to change…right?
- If only she would stop criticizing you and start appreciating all of the things you do to help out with the family, things would get better.
- If only he would give more attention to the house and kids, you wouldn’t have to nag him with what needs to get done.
It’s hurtful to be on the receiving end of criticism, and it feels even worse to feel like you have to nag your partner because your requests are being ignored.
FREE AT LAST: I FORGIVE YOU
Forgiveness can be difficult, but is necessary for the health and personal growth of the offended and the continuation of relationships within families and among friends.
Forgiveness is letting go of the feelings associated with an offense or wrongdoing against us. This doesn’t absolve fault, but does free the forgiver from the chains of anger, hatred and vengeance. We all offend and are offended, so why is it sometimes difficult to forgive?
4 TYPICAL SOLVABLE PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Any seasoned counselor will tell you that even the happiest couples have problems. In fact, Dr. John Gottman, famous marriage researcher and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, has identified four of the most typical areas of solvable marital conflict: technology, work stress, money, and housework.
For a review of Dr. Gottman’s teachings on perpetual versus solvable problems, click here.
While something such as housework may seem like no big deal, there is emotional importance attached to these tasks that deepens our bond when they are accomplished. When these tasks are not accomplished, partners no longer feel like a safe haven for each other in the chaos of life—rather they make life for each other feel even more chaotic.
MY FATHER IS THE BEST MOTHER ON EARTH
He was watering the plants in the posh gardens of an international school. The heat and dust didn’t seem to affect him.
“Ganga Das, Principal Ma’am wants to see you – right now.”
The last two words of the peon had lots of emphasis on them, trying to make it sound like an emergency.
He quickly got up, washed and wiped his hands and headed towards the principal’s chamber. The walk from the garden to the office seemed never-ending. His heart was almost jumping out of his chest.
5 SURPRISING REASONS WHY ADULT SIBLINGS SHOULD GET ALONG
Gary & Joy Lundberg
Having a healthy relationship with your siblings will bring a huge measure of happiness into your life as well as your parents’. Here’s how to make it happen.