THE STRANGE REASON BREAKING UP SUCKS
A man will cut your knee cap off and feed it to sharks, but he’ll leave you intact as a human being. He won’t affect who you are. Women. Women are not-so-violent. So they won’t cut you, but they will shit inside of inside your heart, leave it there and then go paint their toenails.
They’ll paint them red, of course. Of all colors, F’ing red.
The color of your broken heart.
There always comes that awkward time when someone doesn’t love you as much as you love them. It’s like being left out of the foursquare box in elementary school. Here’s a picture, because you probably forgot what the game was after the Foursquare App came out:
FAILED MARRIAGE AND RECOVERY
Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32 NIV)
As I have said before, in working with divorced people over the years I have found that far too many divorcees are adept at primarily blaming their partner for the failure of their marriage. Most fail to see what they contributed to the breakup. I once did too.
Before marriage, many of us prayed that we would find the right partner when what we needed to pray was that we would be the right person. As much as many hate the following statement: we are as sick as the people we are attracted to—especially romantically. For those who want a more positive statement we could put it this way: we are as healthy as the people we are attracted to. In other words, if we want to have a healthy and mature marriage, we need to be a healthy and mature person.
THE 9 MOST OVERLOOKED THREATS TO A MARRIAGE
Dr. Kelly Flanagan
I feel bad for marital communication, because it gets blamed for everything. For generations, in survey after survey, couples have rated marital communication as the number one problem in marriage. It’s not…
Marital communication is getting a bad rap. It’s like the kid who fights back on the playground. The playground supervisors hear a commotion and turn their heads just in time to see his retaliation. He didn’t create the problem; he was reacting to the problem. But he’s the one who gets caught, so he’s sent off to the principal’s office.
Or, in the case of marital communication, the therapist’s office.
IT IS A WASTE OF TIME TO DIVORCE A WIFE WITH A CHILD/CHILDREN IN IGBOLAND
Anayo M. Nwosu
Our ancestors had forewarned that “uzo eji nwa adighi èchí échî,” meaning that a marital relationship that has produced a child can never be deemed closed or ended. Even at that, it is natural for a man or woman, when fed up with a marriage, to decide to call it quits.
However, the superiority of the Western courts over Igbo cultural norms has now made it easier for many couples of Igbo extraction to sidestep the extant traditional ways and methods of resolving marriage challenges and now prefer to approach the regular courts for divorce rather than following the ancestral route.
Chief Ekwueme was confused as his head was being pushed out of his neck by the weight of the embarrassment caused by his wife’s sexual escapes disclosed by his cousin who presented him with proofs, dates, places and the names of her male accomplices. It was too much a pain for one man to carry.
He had it up to the hilt and a solution must be found.
“According to your faith will it be done to you.”
(Matthew 9:29, NIV)
In response to the Daily Encounter titled, “Cheaters Never Win,” one man whom I will call Fred wrote saying. “My wife left and divorced me. Now she is remarried. She has moved on. I’m in dreadful pain and can’t seem to move on. She cheated. I didn’t. She broke the rules. I didn’t. She’s happy. I’m not. She seems to have won. I lost.”
It appears to Fred that his former wife won. However, Fred’s issue isn’t about her—whether she is a winner or not—as Fred can’t change her. For Fred the issue is about him and whether he chooses to stay a loser-victim rather than becoming a winning-loser.
WHY INFIDELITY AND DIVORCE ARE MORE AMONG AFRICAN COUPLES
Whoever says most African couples are not romantic is absolutely telling the truth.
Many marriages are just about sleeping, waking, eating, cooking, raising the kids, working and ageing together till death comes.
Many couples only hug each other when they receive good news.
WHY I NEVER TALKED ABOUT MY ABUSIVE ARRANGED MARRIAGE
Why did she, and millions of other women remain in abusive marriages? How can she put it behind her?
Recently, I spent a whole night watching YouTube interviews of victims who have suffered/are suffering from domestic violence. At that time I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing. But I wanted to hear those who’ve had similar lives to mine.
They’ve all suffered to different degrees and at different stages in their relationship. They all had different but equally painful stories to share. At the end of each conversation, the host of the show asks them, “Why would you allow all those wrong things to happen to you? Why didn’t you seek any help?” Most of them didn’t even share their sufferings with anybody. The host asks if they were too ashamed of what happened or of themselves, or was it because they feel no one would understand them? They all replied differently, but none of them knew precisely why.
THE 7 MOST COMMON MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE WHEN THEY GET DIVORCED
Learn from them.
I confess. I was completely overwhelmed by my divorce. Where once I had been on solid ground, now I was at sea without any sense of how I was going to stay afloat, never mind what direction I needed to take. I honestly didn’t know what to do. I was paralyzed, in limbo, while I tried to re-orient myself.
And when I did, I was overwhelmed by the confusing divorce processand my attorney’s sheer lack of empathy. I understand. It’s a business for him — but for me, it was my life.
And now, after my divorce, I can honestly say that, even as a divorce coach, I’m still overwhelmed by picking up the pieces of my life and rebuilding them in a way that serves and fulfills me. Ultimately, divorce is an overwhelming tidal wave of change that happens to you.