How to Listen Without Getting Defensive in Relationship Conflict

HOW TO LISTEN WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE IN RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT

Kyle Benson

defensive

Understanding your partner requires the capacity to listen. Really listen. Couples are advised to hear each other’s complaints without feeling attacked, and as great as this sounds, it’s often unrealistic.

When something you said (or didn’t say) hurts your partner’s feelings, there’s a strong impulse to interrupt with, “That wasn’t my intention. You’re misunderstanding me,” even before your partner is done talking.

Unfortunately, when the listener reacts to what the speaker is saying before the speaker gets the chance to fully explain themselves, both partners are left feeling misunderstood.

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5 behaviors you can spot in toxic people before their true self comes out

5 BEHAVIORS YOU CAN SPOT IN TOXIC PEOPLE BEFORE THEIR TRUE SELF COMES OUT

Kim Giles

If you’re in a relationship, be aware of these early signs of a toxic person.

Hindsight is 20/20 they say, and it’s funny how often at the end of a bad relationship, we wonder why we didn’t see the red flags sooner. Were they there? Should we have seen them? How did we miss them?

The truth is, we see what we want to see most of the time. At the beginning of any relationship, we are primarily looking for the good, especially if we want it to work out. We do this at work and in our personal relationships, but there are a few early warning signs it might help to flag when you see them. This may save you from unrealistic expectations and real disappointment. It might also mean protecting yourself and using some caution around people who could be toxic.

Here are five behaviors to watch for early in a relationship:

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Defensiveness Doesn’t Protect a Relationship

DEFENSIVENESS DOESN’T PROTECT A RELATIONSHIP

Kyle Benson

defensiveness
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.

Taylor: You never make love to me anymore. (Criticism)

Sophia: Well, you never take me out on dates. (Defensiveness)

When I see couples like Tyler and Sophia act defensive towards each other, it makes me smile. They have yet to realize they just want more out of each other.

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If you answer yes to these 8 questions, you are in a happy relationship

IF YOU ANSWER YES TO THESE 8 QUESTIONS, YOU ARE IN A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP

McKenna Park

Are you truly in a happy relationship? Will the two of you stick it out for the long run, or are things headed downhill?

With pesky doubts and second guesses that are prone to pop up once you start dating someone seriously, it can sometimes be hard to tell if you’re really in a good, happy relationship. By answering these eight questions, you can gain some insight and clarity into your love. But remember, it’s important to be honest with yourself and truthfully answer each one.

  1. Are they on your mind quite a bit?

How often does your mind gravitate towards thoughts of them? A good sign of a happy relationship is if they are the first person you think of when you wake up.

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How to Repair the Little Things So They Don’t Become Big Things

HOW TO REPAIR THE LITTLE THINGS SO THEY DON’T BECOME BIG THINGS

John Grey

All couples argue. Happy couples argue well. They have strategies for dealing with their inevitable disagreements, and they process their feelings so they don’t bottle up.

We know from Dr. Gottman’s research that both partners in a relationship are emotionally available only 9% of the time. This leaves 91% of our relationship ripe for miscommunication.

The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is not that happy couples don’t make mistakes. We all hurt our partner’s feelings. The difference is that happy couples repair, and they do so early and often.

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Do You Know What Love Looks Like?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE?

Nurturing Marriage

Love.  It’s a beautiful thing.  It grows with time, effort, kindness, thoughtfulness, and occasionally some sticking-it-out-through-thick-and-thin.

So, what does love look like?   Well, a lot of things.  Check out this list and stand up and do a little celebratory dance (seriously, do it!) when you recognize something from your marriage. Or – start making your own list. And add to it as time goes on.

Keep nurturing love. Keep nurturing your marriage.

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How Strong is Your Relationship? Take the Quiz…

HOW STRONG IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP? TAKE THE QUIZ…

Kyle Benson

This quiz will determine if you and your partner truly meet each other’s needs.

Healthy and happy relationships despite setbacks or problems are built on a sturdy foundation of trust that keeps love strong. The secret to lasting love can be answered in one simple question: When shit happens, can you talk to each other and truly listen?

Does your partner stop and listen when you are hurting? Or do they say, “You’re acting needy. Stop being such a baby. Grow up.”

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10 Ways of Showing Complete Fidelity in Marriage

10 WAYS OF SHOWING COMPLETE FIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

Nurturing Marriage

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines fidelity as both “the quality or state of being faithful,” along with being “[accurate and exact] in details.” When it comes to fidelity in marriage, the details really do matter. Through small and simple things, you can show your spouse that you are completely committed to them, and to your marriage.

Fidelity in marriage demands 100% commitment and prioritizing your spouse above all else. Will that take effort? Work? Sacrifice? Yes, yes, and yes! But, the reward is far sweeter than any price you may feel you have to pay. Loyalty & fidelity are vital to a happy, healthy, safe, and lasting marriage. Loyalty is the foundation of true love. When you show your loyalty through these 10 ways, your spouse will feel safe and secure with you and with your marriage.

1. Loyal spouses are respectful of each other – in private and in person. 

4 qualities of a keeper: how to recognize a good guy

4 QUALITIES OF A KEEPER: HOW TO RECOGNIZE A GOOD GUY

Megan Gladwell

When it comes to marriage, don’t settle. Read on for the non-negotiable traits in your future husband.

I have a dear friend who was once vivacious and cheerful. As a teenage girl, she had a promising future. She was beautiful, warm, smart and talented. She dated a lot and was widely admired. She had “the pick of the litter” as far as guys went. In college, she met a charismatic guy who made her laugh. He swept her off her feet and they married.

Soon enough, she found out that Prince Charming was really a sociopath. She stayed with him for the sake of her children and suffered in an unhappy, abusive marriage for many years before leaving.

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The Strange Reason Breaking Up Sucks

THE STRANGE REASON BREAKING UP SUCKS

Kyle Benson

A man will cut your knee cap off and feed it to sharks, but he’ll leave you intact as a human being. He won’t affect who you are. Women. Women are not-so-violent. So they won’t cut you, but they will shit inside of inside your heart, leave it there and then go paint their toenails.

They’ll paint them red, of course. Of all colors, F’ing red.

The color of your broken heart.

There always comes that awkward time when someone doesn’t love you as much as you love them. It’s like being left out of the foursquare box in elementary school. Here’s a picture, because you probably forgot what the game was after the Foursquare App came out:

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