MAKING YOUR LIST, CHECKING…WHO IS HOT OR NOT
When you are walking around a Christmas holiday party or swiping faces on your phone, you probably have some idea of the type of person you find attractive.
As you swipe away, you are seeking certain traits – physical, mental, social – you desire. Other traits, you say “fuck no.” Maybe you have a list of these traits, or maybe you just know it when you see it.
Either way, you have evolved to desire specific traits. The melting pot of your childhood, teenage, and adult experiences have sculpted and resculpted which traits you find attractive and which ones you find repulsive.
THE 6 FACTORS THAT DETERMINE WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH
During one of my bro moments, a buddy and I were checking out a bachelorette party and choosing who the sexiest woman was in the room. At first we agreed on basic body types and symmetries. We both liked fit, tall women, but soon we started disagreeing. I liked the Latina girl with almond-shaped eyes, a longer face and proportioned boobs and butt. My friend couldn’t stand longer faces. He was attracted to the blond with a round face, massive boobs and no butt.
These conversations happen all over the world in all types of languages, regarding all types of genders. Some girls go for guys dressed in leather, while others go for Mr. Business Suit. Some guys like dangerous girls who are adventurous, and uninhibited, while another guy likes them reliable, soft-spoken, and boring. Eventually everyone agrees to disagree on who is hot or not.
But why on earth would we have a difference of opinion? Isn’t the ultimate driver reproduction? If that’s the case we would fall in love with potential sex partners of the opposite sex with good genetic fabric, health, wealth, high social status and potentially strong parental qualities.
THE STORY OF US: THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAPPY AND UNHAPPY COUPLES
Every relationship is bound in the pages of stories. There’s the chapter when you sat alone in a romantic restaurant because John was late for date night. Or the countless nights your wife puts on her “no sex” sweatpants to tell you she’s off limits.
Our lives and our relationships are constantly narrated by the storyteller of our minds. This narrator is either going to write a miserable love memoir, or the best damn romantic novel in existence (despite the dark times).
All relationships, happy and miserable, experience regrettable incidents. According to John Gottman, 90% of the time couples misunderstand one another, leaving the plot of love ripe for a dark tale. I’m not talking about the 50 Shades of Grey dark tale; I’m talking about the story that no one wants to read.
10 WAYS A WOMAN CAN GRAB THE ATTENTION OF THE MAN SHE LOVES
Need some ideas to grab your man’s attention? Here are 10.
Are things getting a little bit stale in your relationship with the man you love? Try using one of these quick tips for grabbing his attention and shaking things up a bit!
- Be physical
I’m talking about actually physically touching him. Give him a massage, hold his hand, rub his back. All these simple physical touches will make him stop and relax a bit as he tells you about his day, or while you make plans for the night.
2 BIASES THAT MAY BE HURTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Researchers Elizabeth Robinson and Gail Price found that couples in unhappy marriages tend to underestimate the number of positive interactions in their marriage by 50%. As Dr. John Gottman explains, every couple has a “Story of Us Switch.”
When the switch is turned on, couples tend to look back on their early days fondly. When they talk about the tough times they’ve had, they glorify the struggles they’ve been through, drawing strength from the adversity they’ve survived together.
When the switch is turned off, however, couples tend to look back on their early days with resentment and blame. For some of these couples, the Story of Us Switch may seem stuck in the off position.
DATING YOUR WIFE WITH KIDS UNDER FIVE
“She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen,” you thought when you first laid eyes on that gorgeous woman you now call your wife. She is beautiful, smart, and sophisticated. You pursued her like she was royalty: picking her up for dates, holding doors open, bringing flowers, cooking dinners, the ring, the beautiful wedding. Finally, she became yours.
Fast forward to today. She is still the love of your life, but dating her is like running through an obstacle course, and the babies you had together are both delightful and a terror.
You lean in for a kiss, but you get pushed away by the envious one year old in your wife’s arm. You hug her and the toddler clings to your leg because they also want a hug. You try to have a conversation and every thirty seconds you get interrupted with someone wanting milk, apple juice, crackers, cheerios, and of course the inevitable diaper change. You make plans to go out for dinner and one of the kids gets sick. Perhaps, at last, you decide on an at-home date and she falls asleep during the first thirty minutes of the movie.
HOW TO BE KIND WHEN YOU’RE UPSET WITH YOUR PARTNER
One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. In fact, it is in these moments that Dr. Gottman can predict the success or failure of the relationship with over 90% accuracy.
In a popular Atlantic Magazine interview, Dr. Julie Gottman explains that, “Kindness doesn’t mean that we don’t express our anger, but the kindness informs how we choose to express the anger. You can throw spears at your partner. Or you can explain why you’re hurt and angry, and that’s the kinder path.”
The Vow of Kindness
Kindness is not just important in the heat of an argument, rather, it is about your mindful and considerate behavior throughout your relationship.
5 SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE
Stael Ferreira Pedrosa
The signs that your husband does not love you may be staring you in the face, but you just don’t want to see them.
If a spouse has fallen out of love, the signs are often obvious, but there are many reasons they don’t see them, according to marriage counselor Kurt Smith. The main reason is because they don’t want to see the signs. It’s painful for a woman to say “my husband does not love me anymore.”
Smith warned that demonstrations of affection and loving words on dates such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or Christmas, are not usually reliable sources for demonstrations of love. On those dates, there is social pressure to display affection so they may not always be true. True love is expressed in everyday actions when there is no commemorative pressure.
15 THINGS MEN ONLY DO IF THEY ARE BEING 100 PERCENT FAITHFUL
Faithful men always do these things for the woman they love.
Many people look for loyalty in a potential partner. However, infidelity is becoming more common. Results from a study in 2016 showed 41 percent of married couples admitted to being unfaithful, and over half of men and women said they had been unfaithful before.
But not to worry, if your man has these 15 characteristics, he’ll always be faithful to you:
6 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW WERE CONSIDERED CHEATING
You could be hurting your spouse without even realizing it.
Where is the line drawn between a loyal relationship and a cheating relationship? Is it from the moment an unfaithful thought crosses your mind or when physical bounds have been broken? Experts reveal what is really considered cheating:
1. Fantasizing about someone else
It’s natural to think someone is attractive. However, fantasizing about someone else could be more dangerous for your marriage.