10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR WIFE
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably learned that there are certain things that a husband should not say. Here are ten things you should definitely avoid saying to your wife if you value your mortal existence.
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably learned that there are certain things that a husband should never say to his wife. It was funny to hear about marital strife when you were single, but now you know firsthand how uncomfortable a night alone on the couch can be. Here are ten things you should definitely avoid saying to your wife if you value your mortal existence.
“You’re not that old.”
7 SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS
These experts reveal what it really takes to have a happy, lasting relationship.
All the good fairy tales end with the iconic phrase “and they lived happily ever after.” Children love listening to those magical stories of love and adventure, but as we grow older, we start to think happily ever afters only exist in books and movies.
While you might not live blissfully the rest of your life, with some work, you can have the happy marriage you’ve always dreamed of. Here are seven secrets to a happy marriage, according to experts.
COUPLES WHOSE LOVE LASTS FOREVER AGREE ON THESE 6 THINGS FROM THE BEGINNING
Here are 6 things couples who last need to agree on right from the beginning.
Everyone feels butterflies and a warm glow in the beginning stages of a relationship. Love is easy to get off the ground, but it takes some planning to keep things from falling back down to earth.
If you really want your love to last, it needs to start out on the right foot. Here are six things successful people do in the beginning of their relationships:
HOW TO LISTEN WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE IN RELATIONSHIP CONFLICT
Understanding your partner requires the capacity to listen. Really listen. Couples are advised to hear each other’s complaints without feeling attacked, and as great as this sounds, it’s often unrealistic.
When something you said (or didn’t say) hurts your partner’s feelings, there’s a strong impulse to interrupt with, “That wasn’t my intention. You’re misunderstanding me,” even before your partner is done talking.
Unfortunately, when the listener reacts to what the speaker is saying before the speaker gets the chance to fully explain themselves, both partners are left feeling misunderstood.
5 BEHAVIORS YOU CAN SPOT IN TOXIC PEOPLE BEFORE THEIR TRUE SELF COMES OUT
If you’re in a relationship, be aware of these early signs of a toxic person.
Hindsight is 20/20 they say, and it’s funny how often at the end of a bad relationship, we wonder why we didn’t see the red flags sooner. Were they there? Should we have seen them? How did we miss them?
The truth is, we see what we want to see most of the time. At the beginning of any relationship, we are primarily looking for the good, especially if we want it to work out. We do this at work and in our personal relationships, but there are a few early warning signs it might help to flag when you see them. This may save you from unrealistic expectations and real disappointment. It might also mean protecting yourself and using some caution around people who could be toxic.
Here are five behaviors to watch for early in a relationship:
DEFENSIVENESS DOESN’T PROTECT A RELATIONSHIP
Being defensive blocks connection, compassion, and isolates you from your partner. Instead of focusing on we-ness, a defensive person focuses on me-ness. Defensiveness is one of the most dangerous signs of toxic fighting because it creates never-ending cycles of negativity.
Taylor: You never make love to me anymore. (Criticism)
Sophia: Well, you never take me out on dates. (Defensiveness)
When I see couples like Tyler and Sophia act defensive towards each other, it makes me smile. They have yet to realize they just want more out of each other.
7 COMMON THINGS THAT ARE SURPRISINGLY BAD FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Thanks to the internet, it’s extremely easy to find information and advice on marriage. In fact, sometimes advice you don’t even want is just thrown in your face and you have to take it with a smile (and a grain of salt).
To make things even more confusing, sometimes the advice you get is completely opposite from what you’ve heard before. Someone tells you you should never go to bed angry, but the next day someone else says you should absolutely go to bed angry. How do you know what to believe and practice?
Ultimately, you have to figure out what’s best for you, but no matter what, there are seven things that aren’t ever great for your marriage:
THE LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP
He comes home from work exhausted again. After yet another frustrating meeting that could have been covered in an email, a tense conversation with a co-worker about the state of the break room refrigerator, and predictably awful traffic on the way home, he crashes onto the living room sofa, lets out a deep breath, and turns on his favorite show. All he wants to do is decompress in silence.
As if on cue, he hears the back door open. His wife is home — and somehow she’s more chipper than ever. As she enters the room and removes her coat, she takes a moment to pause at the front window, saying, “What beautiful weather — it’s just lovely today.”
What should he do next? The answer may matter more than you think.
TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS IS BUILT AND BROKEN IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATION
Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Intimacy: See Fear, The opposite of.
Well, not really. Not entirely. Fear was taken from the reality of Merriam-Webster. Intimacy was taken from the reality of human relationships. But, ultimately, it’s true – when we are afraid of the consequences, we cannot trust our partners to listen to or fully support us. When we are anxious about their reception, it’s terrifying to consider revealing our deepest feelings, hopes, or dreams.
And why should we make ourselves completely vulnerable when we are afraid? Our internal wiring does its best to prevent us from opening our hearts to those we fear will hurt us emotionally, let us down, or leave us, and this – in the language of evolutionary psychology – may be called an adaptive trait! It’s healthy. We need to protect ourselves!
THREE DAILY RITUALS THAT STOP SPOUSES FROM TAKING EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED
When my wife and I got married, more than twelve years ago now, we were convinced that we would have a happy life together. Our courtship was exciting, and our wedding day was a dream. Little did we know that a switch flipped in both of our heads on the day we said “I do.” Indeed, the very next day—the first full day of our married life—my wife and I would begin taking each other for granted.
It’s only in looking back that I can understand what happened early in our marriage. At the time, the change was so gradual that we didn’t even notice it.
Before our wedding day, our focus was each other, having fun, and building our love. After our wedding day, our focus began to shift. Without realizing it, I viewed our wedding day as the finish line in the courtship race, and I had won the prize: my wife’s love.