16 Abusive Relationship Signs of a Devious Lover

abusive relationship signs

16 ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP SIGNS OF A DEVIOUS LOVER

Elizabeth Arthur

Are you being tricked into living with abuse by your lover? Use these 16 shocking and devious abusive relationship signs to see the veiled truth.

It usually starts with verbal abuse.

Sarcasm enters the picture.

And one day, something gets thrown at you.

An abusive relationship isn’t scary just because it hurts.

It’s scary because you’re usually tricked into it.

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18 Emotions You Shouldn’t Feel in a Healthy Relationship

18 EMOTIONS YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Team LovePanky

We go through a range of feelings when we’re in a relationship. But if you’re faced with these unhealthy emotions, it may be time to cut it loose.

A relationship should feel like a support system, a safe haven, and a place to express yourself openly without being mocked or judged. Settling for less than you deserve by staying in a dead end or unsatisfying relationship will only make you feel more isolated and alone.

If a relationship affects your mental sanity, disrupts your inner peace, corrodes your self-esteem, and generally makes you feel more negative than positive, you should either let the relationship go or seek help in improving your relationship. People seek relationships in order to feel happy, accepted, and complete, but when you feel any of the following emotions, ask yourself, “What’s the point of staying in a relationship that’s doing more harm than good?”

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How to be Mindful About Money

HOW TO BE MINDFUL ABOUT MONEY

Ellie Lisitsa

If you’ve read Zach Brittle’s Blog Series, you know that M is for Money. M is also for marriage, misunderstanding, multidimensional and maybe, as in maybe a good thing and maybe not. We are conditioned to think of money as an ultimate goal, a passport to the land of eternal peace of mind, but in the long run we know this isn’t quite true. Most of us have figured out by now that money is not the ultimate answer. It can’t really make us happy and isn’t very good at solving our relationship problems.

It’s tempting and convenient to think otherwise, though. Think of the hassled husband (or wife!) on all those TV shows, eternally retreating into their office to escape the myriad challenges of daily life (most commonly, to avoid facing marital conflict). The pursuit of financial security as strategy for avoiding the complexities of human relationships is a common theme. It doesn’t even have to be a conscious decision at first, but it is a slippery slope! After all, we’re only human, and when faced with a choice between an intractable problem and a lovely distraction… well, we often can’t help ourselves.

Unfortunately, workplace escapism often makes things worse. Even solvable problems can become gridlocked issues when avoided long enough. Falling into these habits only increases the distance between us and loved ones, putting stress on relationships and limiting families’ ability to face challenges together. It takes a conscious effort to change our ways, and we may be helped by a change in perspective.

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Should You Never Make Someone a Priority?

making someone a priority

SHOULD YOU NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY?

Morgan Miller

Ever heard that line, you should never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option? Well, here’s what you need to know about it.

When you love someone dearly, it’s obvious that you’ll make them a priority in your life.

But what do you do when the feeling isn’t mutual?

Well, that’s where everything starts to go wrong in a relationship.

Misunderstandings in expectations from each other are almost always the biggest reason for bad relationships and friendships.

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Your Guy’s Annoying Friends and How to Deal with Them

your boyfriend's annoying friends

YOUR GUY’S ANNOYING FRIENDS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Danielle Anne

You can’t stand his friends, but they’re an important part of who your man is. How can you come to terms with this common relationship conundrum?

Dating someone can be complicated, especially when their friends are involved. You know the person you like, but knowing their friends is another story. You can become friends with your partner’s friends, but it does not mean that everything will always work out the way you want it to.

Some people have friends who have less than agreeable personalities. This is especially true when you just started seeing someone, and then found out that their friends were bad influences. If you encounter those, there’s not much you can do. I repeat, not much you can do, but I’m sure we can find something to ease your woes.

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Avoid Them Like The Plague: 16 Types of Guys Not to Date

types of guys

AVOID THEM LIKE THE PLAGUE: 16 TYPES OF GUYS NOT TO DATE

Tiffany Grace Reyes

He might seem like a catch at first, but try to imagine him without all that first date charm. Or you could read up on these types of guys to avoid.

Dating can provide you valuable experiences and insights into what kinds of guys are out there. It helps you find out just what you like and don’t like in potential mates and relationships. However, the search for that “someone” can be frustrating. It may come to the point where you’re willing to settle for anyone, overlooking certain qualities you actually don’t like just so you can finally say you’re in a relationship.

However, if you’re a smart enough woman, you’ll know that there are just a few things that you should not put up with. There really are certain types of men that you should stay away from. While you may or may not have dated their kind in the past, there’s still time to change your ways and wise up to their quirks.

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Positive Parenting: Accept Feelings, Limit Actions

person and two toddler's playing at the seashore

POSITIVE PARENTING: ACCEPT FEELINGS, LIMIT ACTIONS

Rebecca Eanes

Over the years of moderating a popular parenting page on Facebook, I have had the opportunity to listen to many parents voice their concerns about changing their parenting paradigms to peaceful, positive parenting. One of the major goals of positive parenting is to raise emotionally intelligent children, and this is because research has shown that children with high emotional intelligence are less defiant, mentally healthier, and more successful both academically and in relationships.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, evaluate, and regulate emotions. In our quest to raise emotionally intelligent children, positive parents understand the importance of accepting a child’s feelings. A common misconception is that accepting all feelings means accepting all actions resulting from those feelings, leading to an unruly and disrespectful or spoiled and coddled child.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are what they are. We feel what we feel. What we do with those feelings, though, is extremely important, and that is a large part of emotional intelligence. It’s not about just understanding and accepting feelings but also teaching children appropriate actions around those feelings.

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Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

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Intimate Partner Violence and the #MeToo Movement

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE AND THE #METOO MOVEMENT

Mary Beth George

Trigger warning: This article discusses sexual assault and violence.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Over the years, the term domestic violence has been broadened to the more accurate term, intimate partner violence, acknowledging that abuse can occur regardless of marital status, gender, or sexual orientation.

When you hear the term domestic or intimate partner violence, you probably imagine a woman with a black eye, fleeing in the middle of the night to escape her batterer. While that image is accurate, it does not capture the depth and breadth of what many women experience. It also does not bring into focus the batterer.

I should mention that while the majority of domestic violence victims are women, abuse of men happens far more often than you might expect. Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey indicates that one in six men in the United States have experienced some form of contact sexual violence during their lifetime, and 11% of men have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

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A New Appreciation for Anxiety

A NEW APPRECIATION FOR ANXIETY

LaVerna Wilk

Anxiety is an interesting animal. There is nothing fun about it, no one enjoys a rapid heart rate, the hit of adrenaline, the racing thoughts – no one would choose panic attacks. Yet, there seems to be something perversely protective about anxiety at times.

I know that sounds crazy, even to me, but hear me out.

I made an observation one day as I was doing Neurotherapy with a client. We had her hooked up to a monitor and we were training her Theta/Beta ratio at the back of her head. Together we observed that as her brainwaves were learning to cope better with anxiety and reduce her symptoms, that her anxiety was actually increasing.  As we talked about this she stated that, inside her, it almost felt like we were “storming the castle” so to speak, and that there was an urge to hold on to the anxiety and resist the changes we were trying to achieve. As we began to explore that, she was eventually able to articulate that while she didn’t enjoy her anxiety and the limits it imposed on her life, in theory there were ways in which it was almost soothing and at times protective.  Her symptoms included anxiety about traffic and specifically about being in an accident. When she absolutely had to go somewhere with her husband she would have large reactions to imagined “near misses” at intersections, and was obsessed with watching the rear-view mirror so she would be able to warn him if they were about to get rear ended, etc. She had lived with these symptoms for so long that she had become quite accustomed to simply telling people, “No, I can’t go to the concert/movies/mall because my anxieties have been quite high lately”.  What we discovered after much digging, was that her anxieties kept her vigilant, not only for actual threats to her safety, but imagined ones as well.

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