How to Fix a Relationship That’s Falling Apart

fix a relationship

HOW TO FIX A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S FALLING APART

Team LovePanky

A relationship, just like everything else in life, needs care and attention. Many couples overlook this detail and end up unhappy in a perfect relationship. Find out how to fix a relationship and turn things around.

Figuring out how to fix a relationship is a lot like stacking a deck of cards. There are so many different cards involved and it’s really difficult to know where exactly the balance went awry.

Just like a stack of cards, in almost all cases, it’s never a single reason that leads to a failure in love.

It’s a series of disappointments and resentments that lead to an unhappy relationship.

But nevertheless, it really doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love.

How to fix a relationship

If you still love your partner and are willing to work on your relationship, read these five simple pointers on how to fix a relationship.

They are easy and can bring back the happiness that’s lost in all the confusion and pain.

#1 Communication

How did you deal with the situation the last time you disagreed with your partner, or had a little fight?

Most couples prefer to just end an argument with slammed doors and silent evenings rather than face the situation, sort it out and clear the air.

You could give each other some space for a couple of days and wait for the issue to get sorted out by itself. But by avoiding a confrontation, you would end a fight but you really can’t understand each other or help each other. Problems that are brushed under the carpet have a way of raising a stink every now and then.

The next time you’re feeling frustrated and lonely, talk about it with your partner and try to get over the issue. Why do you need to talk to a third person and get help from the outside when you can actually talk frankly and listen to each other instead?

#2 Forgiveness

We’re all human, and all of us make mistakes, even the most perfect of people. If you want to know how to fix a relationship and have a successful one, both of you must learn to forgive each other. And most importantly, you must remember to never judge your partner.

It takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they feel may be bad or hurtful. When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.

The day either of you stop sharing your feelings and thoughts with each other is the day your relationship starts to drift apart, even if only by a small bit every day.

If you feel something’s wrong in the relationship or if your partner’s done something objectionable, talk to your partner without accusing them or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about it instead of yelling or cursing at your lover. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and forget. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.

#3 Compatibility

Compatibility is crucial if you want to know how to fix a relationship. In several cases, opposites attract and you may find yourself married to someone who’s got nothing in common with you. But if you think about it, perhaps, it’s those differences that brought both of you closer. Sometimes, compatibility doesn’t lie in sharing similar likes and dislikes, it lies in wanting to understand and lead the ways of your partner. If you’re having issues with compatibility and want to fix your relationship, you’d know what this means.

If your partner’s too carefree or lighthearted, you may be in love with your partner because you admire that quality, however much it may annoy you at times. Compatibility isn’t about how similar both of you are, but how well you mesh together as a couple.

Don’t look at your differences as burdens, instead look at it as something that either of you can learn from each other. Make a conscious effort to understand your partner and understand their behavior. By understanding each other’s minds, both of you can change and become better individuals and a better couple.

#4 Compromise

Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals fail in a relationship because of this one thing alone. Seriously, how difficult is it for couples to learn to give in selflessly once in a while? Over recent years, men and women have become too bullheaded and stubborn. Couples don’t like to give in, and it’s always my way or the highway. But think about it, if you truly love your partner, seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it?

If your partner’s happiness matters so much, why not go out of your way to compromise on something they like just to see your partner happy? If you can’t give in now and then, you’re cohabiting with your partner, and you’re not really in love with them.

Of course, it’s never good if one person always gives and the other person just takes. It has to be mutual. For starters, you could even keep count if nothing helps. Every time your partner compromises for you, you need to compromise for your partner. Over time, these things will begin to come naturally.

#5 Growing together

Relationships need to grow constantly, just like how individuals need to grow. When a relationship stagnates, you start to lose interest in it and soon, you stop caring about it. And one fine day, you may not even want to do anything with your partner.

Both of you start taking each other for granted and before you know it, the relationship comes to a grinding halt. If you want to know how to fix a relationship, you need to heal it from the inside. You can mend a bird’s feather, but you can’t really heal it until you help the bird move and fly.

Learn to improve a relationship and better it, learn from each other and give enough space to each other to grow as individuals. Only by becoming better individuals can both of you become better lovers.

These five fixes on how to fix a relationship can seem trivial and easy. And that’s the whole point. Sometimes, the most complicated of knots need a small tug where it matters. And just like that, in love too, we all need a small step forward to start creating a happy relationship.

Take a baby step into knowing how to fix a relationship today, and you’ll see how much better your relationship can get in under a week, just as long as you remember these tips.

We’ve Started Renewing Our Wedding Vows Every Year. Here’s Why

Image result for picture of a middle-aged black couple renewing their marriage vows

WE’VE STARTED RENEWING OUR WEDDING VOWS EVERY YEAR. HERE’S WHY

Kristen Manieri

I recently read a statistic that the average couple spends between 200 and 300 hours planning their wedding. A few of those hours likely go into writing wedding vows. How many of us revisit or even think about those vows ever again?

My guess is almost none.

Earlier this year, I made a new friend named Bonnie who shared with me that she and her husband have been renewing their wedding vows every year for more than a decade. The night before their wedding, they stayed up late crafting personal vows, a manifesto for their marriage, and they revisit these words annually on their anniversary.

Read more

The Joys (and Tears) of Parenting My Adult Children

THE JOYS (AND TEARS) OF PARENTING MY ADULT CHILDREN

Shantel Patu

I watched as she stormed into the house. Peril, sheer peril, if you let her tell it.

She hadn’t noticed me reading, quietly in the corner, so she went about, slamming cabinets and drawers, then finally ending her assault on the kitchen by opening and staring into the fridge. I heard her mumble something about hating her job, her co-workers, her commute, and of course, her meager paycheck that she waited for each week. She was adorable.

I peered over my book and examined her. She was considered an average-sized person, about 5’7”, which was a giant to my 5’1” frame. She had these amazing, almond-shaped, bright brown eyes, which she was constantly complaining about the size and the color of, but to me and her father, they were gorgeous.

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Hurt Feelings Do Not Mean You Did Something Wrong

HURT FEELINGS DO NOT MEAN YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG

LaVerna Wilk

I was recently visiting with a friend and she shared a story about a blowout fight she had with her husband. Being a therapist, I’ve grown used to this over the years.

The story went like this. Someone accidentally moved her chair as she was going to sit down at work, causing her to fall and hit her neck against a desk. As a result, her range of motion was limited and it was very painful for her to turn her head.

After her fall, she and her husband had been driving on the freeway and as he was trying to make a last-second lane change, he asked her to check out the passenger side window for cars. She said she felt disregarded because he knew she was in pain, and his request only made it worse.

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The Lonely Girl

the lonely girl

THE LONELY GIRL

Rick Hawney

Short love stories are all about that skip in the heart, but could you actually have been in a romantic love story all along, and not know it? Here I reminisce about my walk into the world of love with a girl who didn’t even want to know me.

I’ve heard a saying, that “life is a surprise”. Call me a sceptic, but I generally scoff at lines that scream something that leaves us expecting so much.

My short love story may be short on words, but it’s a story that’s filled every thought and day of my existence with happiness.

I’m a guy, a 26-year-old guy who works in a job he likes. A guy who hangs out with his friends when the sun goes down, and one who, when the story begins, is still single.

I’m single, not because I want to be single. I think it’s weird to be single. Or maybe that’s what all guys think.

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Marriage tip

MARRIAGE TIP

“Marriages don’t die with a bang. They quietly tip-toe away and are gone before you know they left. Marriages die slowly under the gradually rising wave of distracted indifference.”
– Sam Margulies –

Hey there, friends.

How was your week? How is your marriage? Did you try the great cuddling experiment? How did it go?

We just wanted to send over a quick marriage tip for you to try this week.

Quick Relationship Tip #207: Pay attention.

Pay attention to your spouse. You’ll start to notice what he/she needs, likes, and wants, and you’ll be in a better place to serve, help, lift, encourage, and love that spouse of yours better! Every small effort and improvement you make towards nurturing your marriage will make a difference. You’ve got this.

Cheering you on,
Aaron & April

30 Naughty Questions for Couples to Keep the Spark Alive

30 Questions For Couples To Keep The Spark Alive

30 NAUGHTY QUESTIONS FOR COUPLES TO KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE

Amelie Lee

Want to understand your partner better than ever? Use these 30 sexy questions for couples to read your partner’s naughty mind and ignite the spark!

A perfect relationship never stagnates.

It just finds new ways to better itself.

For most lovers who have been in a relationship for a while, conversations start to die or get repetitive.

And even spending an evening together can start to feel like an effort.

Do you sometimes call your friends over because you think you’d be bored with your own lover?

Well, then you need to make things more exciting.

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1 Mental Habit that’s Draining Your Energy (and Blurring Your Vision)

1 MENTAL HABIT THAT’S DRAINING YOUR ENERGY (AND BLURRING YOUR VISION)

Angel Chernoff

Today, I want to remind you that the stories we tell ourselves change EVERYTHING we see. When we enter an experience with a story about how life is, that tends to be what we see, even when there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary. I was reminded of this recently by an attendee at our “Think Better, Live Better 2018” conference (I’m sharing this with her full permission)…

She compared her present marital problems and stress to an old parable in which a group of blind men touch an elephant for the very first time to learn what it’s like. Each one of them feels a different part of the elephant, but only that one part, such as the leg, trunk, side or tusk. Then the men eagerly compare notes and quickly learn that they are in complete disagreement about what an elephant looks like—and lots of tension and drama ensued.

Something similar happens through our wide-ranging, different past experiences. Some of us have been deeply heartbroken. Some of us have lost our parents, siblings or children to accidents and illnesses. Some of us have dealt with infidelity. Some of us have been fired from jobs we relied on. Some of us have been discriminated against because of our gender or race. And, when we enter a new experience that arouses prominent memories of our own painful story from the past, it shifts our perspective in the present—it narrows it.

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The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Trap: An Interview with Amir Levine Part II

anxious-avoidant

THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP: AN INTERVIEW WITH AMIR LEVINE PART II

Kyle Benson

Interview Guest: Amir Levine, M.D., is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and co-author of a popular book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, which has been translated into 14 languages. You can read Part I of the interview with Dr. Levine here.

It’s important to be in a secure relationship because insecure relationships are “a recipe for a lot of pain,” according to Dr. Levine.

This doesn’t mean that partners in insecure relationships don’t love each other. They often love each other a lot. The problem is that in an anxious-avoidant relationship, there tends to be a sense of “stable instability.”

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Are Love Laws Throwing You In Relationship Jail?

ARE LOVE LAWS THROWING YOU IN RELATIONSHIP JAIL?

Kyle Benson

What determines whether you feel loved or rejected?

If your partner comes up to you and says “you’re needy,” do you laugh or cry?

Even though we speak the same language with our partner, each of us swims in a sea of private meanings. Growing up in different families with unique life experiences has given each of us separate dictionaries on love.

Our dictionary sets the standard that governs not only how we feel, but how we behave, what we do, and how we act in our lives.

The meaning we give the experiences in our relationship is the judge and jury of our love life. These are what I call Love Laws.

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