Your Guy’s Annoying Friends and How to Deal with Them

your boyfriend's annoying friends

YOUR GUY’S ANNOYING FRIENDS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM

Danielle Anne

You can’t stand his friends, but they’re an important part of who your man is. How can you come to terms with this common relationship conundrum?

Dating someone can be complicated, especially when their friends are involved. You know the person you like, but knowing their friends is another story. You can become friends with your partner’s friends, but it does not mean that everything will always work out the way you want it to.

Some people have friends who have less than agreeable personalities. This is especially true when you just started seeing someone, and then found out that their friends were bad influences. If you encounter those, there’s not much you can do. I repeat, not much you can do, but I’m sure we can find something to ease your woes.

Read more

Positive Parenting: Accept Feelings, Limit Actions

person and two toddler's playing at the seashore

POSITIVE PARENTING: ACCEPT FEELINGS, LIMIT ACTIONS

Rebecca Eanes

Over the years of moderating a popular parenting page on Facebook, I have had the opportunity to listen to many parents voice their concerns about changing their parenting paradigms to peaceful, positive parenting. One of the major goals of positive parenting is to raise emotionally intelligent children, and this is because research has shown that children with high emotional intelligence are less defiant, mentally healthier, and more successful both academically and in relationships.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, evaluate, and regulate emotions. In our quest to raise emotionally intelligent children, positive parents understand the importance of accepting a child’s feelings. A common misconception is that accepting all feelings means accepting all actions resulting from those feelings, leading to an unruly and disrespectful or spoiled and coddled child.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are what they are. We feel what we feel. What we do with those feelings, though, is extremely important, and that is a large part of emotional intelligence. It’s not about just understanding and accepting feelings but also teaching children appropriate actions around those feelings.

Read more

Connecting with Your Pain Could Save Your Life

person crying beside bed

CONNECTING WITH YOUR PAIN COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

Jenny TeGrotenhuis

Charlie was in my office yesterday. He was all smiles. I commended him on the quick transformation he had made in his relationship with his wife, Melinda. Even though his job had been extremely stressful lately, and he was experiencing a flare-up of symptoms from a chronic illness, he was content and hopeful. Melinda and their two children, James and Alissa, were doing well and settling into the back-to-school routines of basketball practice and music lessons.

“It seems like a long time ago,” Charlie said, referring to his suicide attempt two years earlier. We had just spent a long time processing something he’d once been reluctant to talk about. It was his second close brush with taking his own life.

The numbness and depression that had been his familiar companions through adolescence and young adulthood, layered with the lack of parental nurture and constant emotional chaos from his parents’ fighting, had left him with few internal emotional resources. He was familiar with a hollow ache inside that could not seem to be filled. He’d had no modeling in his life about how to really notice his feelings or interpret what they meant, so he was not in touch with his true and legitimate needs for loving connection, validation, security, and support.

Read more

How to Perfect the Silent Treatment in a Relationship

silent treatment in a relationship

HOW TO PERFECT THE SILENT TREATMENT IN A RELATIONSHIP

Alison Ricard

The silent treatment is bad for love. But if you’re too mad to talk to your lover, here’s the right way to use the silent treatment in your relationship.

When you’re upset with your partner, it’s never easy to choose the right words to express yourself.

Instead of explaining yourself, your mind would instinctively choose all the wrong words.

And almost all the time, these wrong words you use in an argument would be the most hurtful ones.

A relationship, as happy as it can be, can also have its painful moments.

But how you deal with those bad moments with your partner will determine the longevity and happiness in your relationship.

Read more

R is for Repair

R IS FOR REPAIR

Zach Brittle

Repair is easily my favorite concept in the entire Gottman encyclopedia. Typically, we think of repair in terms of what we have to do to a car or a washing machine or a botched haircut. As in, it’s broken, it needs repair. But in relational terms, repair is less about fixing what is broken and more about getting back on track.

What is a repair attempt?

Masters of relationships repair early and often. And they have lots of strategies for how to repair. Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.” The reason I love the concept so much is because of that word “any.” It leaves a ton of room for creativity. And because every relationship is different, finding the repair strategies that work for you can actually be a unique game that belongs to just the two of you.

Read more

Being Brave Together

Fear

BEING BRAVE TOGETHER

Famifi

We all want fearless kids, right? Little people who can jump off high dives, check under their own beds for monsters, and brave their way through Halloween night. So how do we help them build up the resilience they’re going to need to do just that?

Developing our kids’ internal compass

Kara Fic leans on lessons learned from her own childhood as she now raises two daughters, one of whom was recently heading out the door on her first solo commute to a school across town. Kara says she slipped her camping compass into the 11-year-old’s hand as she ventured out: “She’s ready for this new challenge,” says Kara, “but it’s still a big city. The compass is really just there as a backup in case she gets disoriented—and as a reminder that she’s navigated denser forests than this.”

Kara refers to the many campouts her family has taken together over the years when her daughters were first earning their stripes as Girl Scouts—and teaching the boys a thing or two about bravery in the process. Bears, bees, rain and rations toughened up the girls, Kara explains, as they did during her own Girl Scout days. She’s happy about how her daughters’ wilderness training now spills over into their city life—and into their fear management in general.

Read more

How to deal with arguments in your relationship

how to deal with arguments

HOW TO DEAL WITH ARGUMENTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Team LovePanky

Conflicts in relationships can arise for the smallest of reasons, but there’s a simple way to avoid hurting a partner emotionally. Find out how to deal with arguments in a relationship, by looking within.

Do you end up arguing with your lover for the smallest of reasons?

It may be no one’s fault or both your faults.

But you really need to understand that arguments in a relationship don’t make one of you win, but actually make both of you lose in love.

If you really want to know how to deal with arguments in a relationship, you need to look right into the problem.

Read more

The Power of Words Can Make or Break Your Relationship

power of words

THE POWER OF WORDS CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Natalia Avdeeva

Relationships, as firm as they may seem, are fragile. Learn how the power of words you use can change the direction of your relationship in no time.

A relationship has many needs to be successful.

But almost all these needs are subconscious.

In fact, you won’t even realize you’re catering to these needs of your own perfect relationship unless you’re starting to fall out of love and need to make an effort just to be nice to your lover.

Romantic gestures and memories, and communication and pillow talk may be key requirements of a great relationship but there’s another subtle detail almost none of us bother about.

Read more

Relationship Arguments – 23 Dos and Don’ts to Remember

relationship arguments

RELATIONSHIP ARGUMENTS – 23 DOS AND DON’TS TO REMEMBER

Elizabeth Arthur

Ever wondered how some couples fight, but are still so much in love with each other? Here are 23 relationship argument dos and don’ts that can help you.

Arguments in a relationship are inevitable for most couples.

Of course, there are a few happy couples who rarely argue and understand each other completely.

But for the rest of the mere mortals, a petty fight in love over a confusion or a misunderstanding is pretty common.

Getting into an argument with your lover doesn’t make you a bad partner, nor does it mean that your relationship is less than perfect.

Read more

How to Fix a Relationship That’s Falling Apart

fix a relationship

HOW TO FIX A RELATIONSHIP THAT’S FALLING APART

Team LovePanky

A relationship, just like everything else in life, needs care and attention. Many couples overlook this detail and end up unhappy in a perfect relationship. Find out how to fix a relationship and turn things around.

Figuring out how to fix a relationship is a lot like stacking a deck of cards. There are so many different cards involved and it’s really difficult to know where exactly the balance went awry.

Just like a stack of cards, in almost all cases, it’s never a single reason that leads to a failure in love.

It’s a series of disappointments and resentments that lead to an unhappy relationship.

But nevertheless, it really doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship. Even the unhappiest of relationships can be fixed with a bit of understanding and love.

How to fix a relationship

If you still love your partner and are willing to work on your relationship, read these five simple pointers on how to fix a relationship.

They are easy and can bring back the happiness that’s lost in all the confusion and pain.

#1 Communication

How did you deal with the situation the last time you disagreed with your partner, or had a little fight?

Most couples prefer to just end an argument with slammed doors and silent evenings rather than face the situation, sort it out and clear the air.

You could give each other some space for a couple of days and wait for the issue to get sorted out by itself. But by avoiding a confrontation, you would end a fight but you really can’t understand each other or help each other. Problems that are brushed under the carpet have a way of raising a stink every now and then.

The next time you’re feeling frustrated and lonely, talk about it with your partner and try to get over the issue. Why do you need to talk to a third person and get help from the outside when you can actually talk frankly and listen to each other instead?

#2 Forgiveness

We’re all human, and all of us make mistakes, even the most perfect of people. If you want to know how to fix a relationship and have a successful one, both of you must learn to forgive each other. And most importantly, you must remember to never judge your partner.

It takes a lot of courage and strength for your loved one to confess about something that they feel may be bad or hurtful. When you judge your partner, you make them feel worse, and you also psychologically affect them and make them shut themselves up. And once your partner feels uncomfortable sharing their dark secrets with you, they’d prefer to hide their secrets or talk to another friend rather than tell you what they really feel. And that’s never going to help your relationship. In fact, it could be one of the worst things that can happen to your relationship.

The day either of you stop sharing your feelings and thoughts with each other is the day your relationship starts to drift apart, even if only by a small bit every day.

If you feel something’s wrong in the relationship or if your partner’s done something objectionable, talk to your partner without accusing them or shouting at them. Help your partner understand how you feel about it instead of yelling or cursing at your lover. And unless an unpardonable mistake is repeated, learn to forgive and forget. Sometimes, even the best of us can make a mistake without really wanting to.

#3 Compatibility

Compatibility is crucial if you want to know how to fix a relationship. In several cases, opposites attract and you may find yourself married to someone who’s got nothing in common with you. But if you think about it, perhaps, it’s those differences that brought both of you closer. Sometimes, compatibility doesn’t lie in sharing similar likes and dislikes, it lies in wanting to understand and lead the ways of your partner. If you’re having issues with compatibility and want to fix your relationship, you’d know what this means.

If your partner’s too carefree or lighthearted, you may be in love with your partner because you admire that quality, however much it may annoy you at times. Compatibility isn’t about how similar both of you are, but how well you mesh together as a couple.

Don’t look at your differences as burdens, instead look at it as something that either of you can learn from each other. Make a conscious effort to understand your partner and understand their behavior. By understanding each other’s minds, both of you can change and become better individuals and a better couple.

#4 Compromise

Learn to give in. It’s as simple as that. It’s surprising to see that so many individuals fail in a relationship because of this one thing alone. Seriously, how difficult is it for couples to learn to give in selflessly once in a while? Over recent years, men and women have become too bullheaded and stubborn. Couples don’t like to give in, and it’s always my way or the highway. But think about it, if you truly love your partner, seeing them smile or have a good time would make you happy too, wouldn’t it?

If your partner’s happiness matters so much, why not go out of your way to compromise on something they like just to see your partner happy? If you can’t give in now and then, you’re cohabiting with your partner, and you’re not really in love with them.

Of course, it’s never good if one person always gives and the other person just takes. It has to be mutual. For starters, you could even keep count if nothing helps. Every time your partner compromises for you, you need to compromise for your partner. Over time, these things will begin to come naturally.

#5 Growing together

Relationships need to grow constantly, just like how individuals need to grow. When a relationship stagnates, you start to lose interest in it and soon, you stop caring about it. And one fine day, you may not even want to do anything with your partner.

Both of you start taking each other for granted and before you know it, the relationship comes to a grinding halt. If you want to know how to fix a relationship, you need to heal it from the inside. You can mend a bird’s feather, but you can’t really heal it until you help the bird move and fly.

Learn to improve a relationship and better it, learn from each other and give enough space to each other to grow as individuals. Only by becoming better individuals can both of you become better lovers.

These five fixes on how to fix a relationship can seem trivial and easy. And that’s the whole point. Sometimes, the most complicated of knots need a small tug where it matters. And just like that, in love too, we all need a small step forward to start creating a happy relationship.

Take a baby step into knowing how to fix a relationship today, and you’ll see how much better your relationship can get in under a week, just as long as you remember these tips.

%d bloggers like this: