HOW SELF RESPECT AFFECTS YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Self respect plays a very important part in relationships and happiness. But can you differentiate the line between giving in and losing your own respect?
We’ve all heard this line before, that love needs understanding and compromise to be successful.
And it’s definitely true.
But love works best only when both partners understand each other and compromise for each other.
If you give while your partner only takes, no matter how compromising or caring you are, you can’t hold on to happiness forever.
And that’s where self respect comes into the picture.
20 THINGS HAPPY COUPLES DON’T DO IN A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP
There are many things you can do to build a perfect relationship. However, sometimes it’s the things you don’t do that make all the difference.
Achieving a happy relationship with someone takes more than just a bit of good luck. It requires daily exercise in healthy relationship practices that help build a strong bond between two people. While couples do many things to keep their relationships happy—communicating, for example—the things they don’t do might lend more to their happiness as a couple than you may think.
Things you shouldn’t do if you want a happy relationship
If you’re looking for ways to build a happy relationship with someone special, consider the following “don’t do” tips that other happy couples swear by.
POSITIVE PARENTING: ACCEPT FEELINGS, LIMIT ACTIONS
Over the years of moderating a popular parenting page on Facebook, I have had the opportunity to listen to many parents voice their concerns about changing their parenting paradigms to peaceful, positive parenting. One of the major goals of positive parenting is to raise emotionally intelligent children, and this is because research has shown that children with high emotional intelligence are less defiant, mentally healthier, and more successful both academically and in relationships.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, evaluate, and regulate emotions. In our quest to raise emotionally intelligent children, positive parents understand the importance of accepting a child’s feelings. A common misconception is that accepting all feelings means accepting all actions resulting from those feelings, leading to an unruly and disrespectful or spoiled and coddled child.
Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are what they are. We feel what we feel. What we do with those feelings, though, is extremely important, and that is a large part of emotional intelligence. It’s not about just understanding and accepting feelings but also teaching children appropriate actions around those feelings.
R IS FOR REPAIR
Repair is easily my favorite concept in the entire Gottman encyclopedia. Typically, we think of repair in terms of what we have to do to a car or a washing machine or a botched haircut. As in, it’s broken, it needs repair. But in relational terms, repair is less about fixing what is broken and more about getting back on track.
What is a repair attempt?
Masters of relationships repair early and often. And they have lots of strategies for how to repair. Gottman describes a repair attempt as “any statement or action — silly or otherwise — that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.” The reason I love the concept so much is because of that word “any.” It leaves a ton of room for creativity. And because every relationship is different, finding the repair strategies that work for you can actually be a unique game that belongs to just the two of you.
8 WAYS TO AVOID THE AWKWARD TENSION AFTER AN ARGUMENT
Arguments are never fun. And the awkward tension after the argument? That’s even worse! Use these 8 ways to clear the awkward silence quickly.
Don’t you hate that awkward tension after an argument? You know, the one that people don’t really talk about? You’re not even annoyed anymore, but there’s just this awkward silence and you can’t quite seem to snap back into normality.
You wonder whether your partner is still annoyed, or whether they too are hovering in limbo between arguing and normality. Neither partner wants to be the first to move, talk, or make eye contact. And neither partner’s true intentions are clear.
It can be pretty frustrating. The argument is over, so why is it so difficult to move on? In submitting ourselves to this strange state of post-argument awkwardness, we are extending the negativity, when we could be enjoying our relationships in the way that we should be!
ARE YOU DATING A MARRIED MAN?
At times, without really wanting to, we may end up having a relationship with married men. So are you dating a married man? Read this experience to understand how it feels to date a married man, and how your life can change when you enter this dark world.
Of all the relationships you can get into as a girl, dating a married man is one of the worst kinds.
When you enter into a relationship with married men, inevitably you step into a world that can reveal a lot of joy, and yet, tear all the happiness away instantly.
And this cycle of happiness and pain repeats itself until you can’t take it anymore. But why do women fall into this trap in the first place?
FALLING IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN – THINGS TO KNOW
Falling in love with a married man can be one of the most confusing affairs that a woman can ever have. Affairs with married men can wreck you, give you a bad name and ruin your own life. And yet, most women can’t help but fall for them. Read this experience to understand more.
Affairs with married men and happiness just don’t mix.
When you find yourself falling in love with a married man, life can seem so much simpler and easy in some ways, but there’s always a dark side to it.
And a woman will always love the attention, even if it comes from someone who’s already married or seeing someone.
Is this some evolutionary flaw in women or some mistake we end up making over and over again?
THE ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT RELATIONSHIP TRAP: AN INTERVIEW WITH AMIR LEVINE PART II
Interview Guest: Amir Levine, M.D., is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and co-author of a popular book, Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, which has been translated into 14 languages. You can read Part I of the interview with Dr. Levine here.
It’s important to be in a secure relationship because insecure relationships are “a recipe for a lot of pain,” according to Dr. Levine.
This doesn’t mean that partners in insecure relationships don’t love each other. They often love each other a lot. The problem is that in an anxious-avoidant relationship, there tends to be a sense of “stable instability.”
HOW TO REPAIR THE LITTLE THINGS SO THEY DON’T BECOME BIG THINGS
All couples argue. Happy couples argue well. They have strategies for dealing with their inevitable disagreements, and they process their feelings so they don’t bottle up.
We know from Dr. Gottman’s research that both partners in a relationship are emotionally available only 9% of the time. This leaves 91% of our relationship ripe for miscommunication.
The difference between happy couples and unhappy couples is not that happy couples don’t make mistakes. We all hurt our partner’s feelings. The difference is that happy couples repair, and they do so early and often.