MAJOR CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN NIGERIA
Here are the leading causes of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE in Nigeria and most countries. The problem is quite widespread so it is better to know the main reasons, and maybe this will help to avoid such anathema at home.
The list of domestic violence causes
LOVE OPENS DOORS
“Love never fails.”1
According to an article in Today in the Word, soon after Queen Victoria’s marriage to Prince Albert, the couple had a quarrel, whereupon Prince Albert locked himself in his private apartment. Queen Victoria knocked furiously on his door.
“Who’s there?” asked Albert.
“The Queen of England, and she demands to be admitted.”
RELATIONSHIP ARGUMENTS – 23 DOS AND DON’TS TO REMEMBER
Ever wondered how some couples fight, but are still so much in love with each other? Here are 23 relationship argument dos and don’ts that can help you.
Arguments in a relationship are inevitable for most couples.
Of course, there are a few happy couples who rarely argue and understand each other completely.
But for the rest of the mere mortals, a petty fight in love over a confusion or a misunderstanding is pretty common.
Getting into an argument with your lover doesn’t make you a bad partner, nor does it mean that your relationship is less than perfect.
HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS
The Gottman Institute
The key to dealing with difficult emotions like anger, confusion, fear, loneliness, and sadness is mindfulness.
Practicing mindfulness enables you to calm down and soothe yourself. When you’re calm, you have space to reflect and thoughtfully respond, rather than react.
Following these six steps will help you to understand and deal with your difficult emotions in a mindful way.
Mindfully dealing with emotions is hard and it takes time. Be kind, compassionate, and patient with yourself and your partner.
IT’S OKAY TO GO TO BED ANGRY
David and Constantino Khalaf
As much as we both dislike conflict, we seem to have an uncanny ability to get into fights at the most inconvenient times. Take, for example, the fight about money we started minutes before a group of friends came over to our house. Or the fight about being late we had in the car on the way to church, which also turned into an argument about money. And of course there are all the times we’ve argued late at night when all we really wanted to do was to go to bed. So we did.
Over the years, we’ve learned to ignore the advice we’ve heard at almost every wedding we’ve been to, including our own: We go to bed angry.
The Gottman Institute has disproved the myth that you shouldn’t let the sun set on your anger. At the Love Lab, couples were interrupted in the middle of an argument and asked to read magazines for 30 minutes. When they resumed the conversation, they had physiologically calmed down, which allowed them to communicate rationally and respectfully. Rather than seeing it as an inconvenience, taking a break when we feel ourselves getting overwhelmed during a fight has been helpful, even if that means sleeping on it.
PATIENCE, KINDNESS AND CONSIDERATION
A 40-year-old man visited his old father who could no longer see very well. As both of them sat in front of his house chatting, a dove flew in and perched on the window.
The old man asked his son, “Is that a dove that perched on the window?”
The son replied, “Yes, dad.”
After a short while, he asked the son the same question a second time and got the same answer.
THE LION INSIDE A MAN DOES NOT EAT WOMEN
At one time a newly married young man was shouting at his 20-year-old wife. His father called him inside and said to him, “We only shout at people our threats can give fear but not the same to a woman especially the one you call your wife. The way you are shouting, you are giving away your power and she is the one you are giving it to. Your threats make her stronger.”
Most men believe that a woman is subdued when she is being threatened, but that’s a lie. Nothing is further from the truth!
Let us not be blind and still feel we have our eyes wide open. Why is it that the moment a man starts having sex, even with a 15-year-old little girl, his partner stops fearing him? If she was used to running away to hide when she saw him before then, that would stop. I will tell you something about women we have never believed.
HOW TO FORGIVE SOMEONE: 15 POSITIVE WAYS TO UNBURDEN YOUR MIND
Dr. Carol Morgan
We’ve all been there… someone did something bad to us, and we’re mad. Steaming mad! But here’s how to forgive someone who has hurt you.
For some reason, forgiveness seems to be one of the most difficult things for a human being to do. It’s almost like people think that if they hold on to the resentment and dwell in the negativity, that somehow it will undo the past. Well, let me tell you what you already know… it won’t. If you really want to hold on to your sanity, you need to know how to forgive someone.
As Buddha once said, “Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” While that might sound ridiculous, think about it for a second. It’s true! What good does it do to hold on to the anger? You might think it’s doing some good like punishing the other person, but trust me, it’s not.
HOW TO FORGIVE OTHERS WHO’VE HURT YOU AND WHY YOU SHOULD
Over the last few weeks we’ve talked about staying positive as a way of not only improving your relationship, but your overall life as well. There are many benefits to remaining positive, even when times get unbearably tough. If you haven’t already, it’d be a good idea to read a few of our last posts.
But there are times when it doesn’t matter how positive you stay, you’re going to get down. A lot of the times this can happen because someone close to you has harmed or hurt you. We don’t mean physically harm you here, that’s another topic altogether. But if you feel like you’ve been wronged by someone, it can be difficult to get back to that positive state of mind.
That’s where the importance of forgiveness comes in.