Have you ever wondered why we get angry? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us.”
In his book Emotional Intelligence, Goleman tells us that anger causes blood to flow to our hands, making it easier for us to strike an enemy or hold a weapon. Our heart rate speeds up and a rush of hormones – including adrenaline – creates a surge of energy strong enough to take “vigorous action.” In this way, anger has been ingrained into our brain to protect us. Read more
A HUSBAND, A WIFE, A COLD BED AND WHATSAPP
“You look beautiful,” he texted his wife on WhatsApp.
He was in the living room with the children. The wife was in the kitchen washing the dishes.
“I have no time for small talk,” she texted him in anger, then continued washing the dishes.
“I thought you like compliments my love?” He typed back, then continued looking at the children.
“If that was a genuine compliment, you would have told me in the morning, not when the day is ending,” she typed back, placing the washed plate in the rack. “Why do you only call me my love when you know you have done wrong?” she typed further.
He had a deadline to beat. So he came home late when his family was already asleep. He went into the kitchen, warmed his dinner that his wife had cooked – matoke with beef stew. In a few minutes he was done and went to sleep, exhausted.
In the morning, he and his wife got up. After the shower, wearing robes, it was time to prepare for the day.
“You think I am your house help? What is this? How many times must I tell you to never leave utensils unwashed? I wake up to an unwashed plate in the kitchen sink! Can’t you even wash after yourself? Must I always clean up after you? Are you a baby? And you used my favourite plate that I keep for visitors! Can’t you even use the many other plates I bought? Agrrrr you’ve ruined my morning. I am so sick of being married to a man who can’t even follow simple instructions!” his wife shouted at him.
Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.
Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
Dave and Clara have been married for over nine years without children. They stayed with each other and hoped that they would have a child before their 10th anniversary because they were being persuaded by family and some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t let go because of the love they shared.
Months passed by and, while Dave was returning from work one day, he saw his wife walking down the road with a man, and they looked quite happy.
Another evening, while Dave was coming back from work, he saw the same man drop her off at the house. Dave became sad and angry.
I was recently visiting with a friend and she shared a story about a blowout fight she had with her husband. Being a therapist, I’ve grown used to this over the years.
The story went like this. Someone accidentally moved her chair as she was going to sit down at work, causing her to fall and hit her neck against a desk. As a result, her range of motion was limited and it was very painful for her to turn her head.
After her fall, her and her husband had been driving on the freeway and as he was trying to make a last-second lane change, he asked her to check out the passenger side window for cars. She said she felt disregarded because he knew she was in pain, and his request only made it worse.
Please read and understand that domestic violence must be exposed and stopped!
Daisy was born beautiful. Her mother received her with misty eyes. She felt so proud. After three boys, Manny was beginning to doubt his ability to make a female baby. And now along came Daisy from his loins. He’s a complete man, after all. Right?
There was so much to eat and drink at the naming ceremony of Daisy. She got a name from every member of the family. Quite a list but the one other name that stuck was the one her paternal grandmother gave her, Gift.
Marriage is far from easy and we all get ticked off. But do we calmly talk it out like adults? Only sometimes.
Below, married writers share the hilarious, slightly petty things they do when they’re annoyed at their husbands but pretending all is well on the homefront.
“My husband can usually say goodbye to our comforter when I’m annoyed. The negotiations are over and he isn’t getting the blanket back.Good luck to you, sir, and goodnight.” ― Stella G. Maddox, author of A Thousand Tiny Cracks
A good marriage requires both partners to behave like grown ups… but sometimes, in the middle of an argument, even the most reasonable adults can act a little childish.
Below, married men share the passive aggressive things they do when they’re annoyed at their wives, but are pretending otherwise.
“We both read a lot when we’re mad at each other.Needless to say, our
local public library doesn’t have very many books we haven’t read!” ― Mike Berry, blogger at Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent
“My hearing gets worse. I’m suddenly deaf to all requests (or orders), but somehow I can still hear the oven timer ding.There’s no reason a perfectly good frozen pizza should suffer just because we’re fighting.” ― James Breakwell, author of the web comic James Breakwell’s Unbelievably Bad Webcomic