8 PROFOUND LESSONS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS TEACH US
Our intimate relationships teach us more than about the hearts of the ones we love. They teach us about ourselves. There is no greater people growing machine than that of love.
Our culture often views love as some fuzzy thing that gets passed around and makes you feel warm inside. But as all of us know, this happens only part of the time. The other part is full of anxiety, confusion, and frustration.
Having problems in our relationships are inevitable. Even our soulmates cause issues sometimes. According to John Gottman, couples disagree on unsolvable never-ending issues 69% of the time.
15 INSANELY NICE THINGS TO SAY
Lifting another’s spirits with a genuine compliment makes you feel pretty great, too. You never know how your kind words will affect those around you.
Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
A knee-melting compliment, delivered directly and sincerely, can be life altering. We never know how profoundly our kind words affect the recipient – from a store clerk to our own kids.
In the spirit of Mark Twain, here are 15 really nice gems to throw someone’s way.
7 WAYS YOU MAY BE RUINING YOUR CHILD
You’ve probably done more than one of these. If you don’t watch out, you could be setting your child up for failure. But there is still time to fix it. No child is a completely lost cause.
Your child is screaming their lungs out when they should be taking their morning nap. You’re up against a wall with a project deadline and any ounce of focus you may have had is decimated. We’ve all been there, right? In an act of desperation for peace and quiet, you resort to what you feel is your only option: quit fighting him and plop him down in front of the television.
As parents, these situations seem to creep in on a daily basis. Some are situations we’re aware of, but others are a bit sneakier and we are unknowingly hurting our children. To help expose you to the truth (sorry about that), here are seven ways you may be ruining your children.
HOW TO BE KIND WHEN YOU’RE UPSET WITH YOUR PARTNER
One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. In fact, it is in these moments that Dr. Gottman can predict the success or failure of the relationship with over 90% accuracy.
In a popular Atlantic Magazine interview, Dr. Julie Gottman explains that, “Kindness doesn’t mean that we don’t express our anger, but the kindness informs how we choose to express the anger. You can throw spears at your partner. Or you can explain why you’re hurt and angry, and that’s the kinder path.”
The Vow of Kindness
Kindness is not just important in the heat of an argument, rather, it is about your mindful and considerate behavior throughout your relationship.
40 HARD THINGS YOU NEED TO HEAR
I’m sitting here on the tenth anniversary of a dear friend’s passing, thinking about the last conversation I had with her. With a soft, weak voice she told me her only regret was that she didn’t live every year with the same level of love, passion and purpose she had in the final two years of her life, after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. “I’ve accomplished so much recently. And I’ve touched so many people,” she told me. “If only I had listened to the good advice of my elders—if only I had known—I would have started sooner. I wouldn’t have wasted so much time on drama and distractions that don’t matter.”
My friend’s words were hard to hear in that moment, for many reasons. And although her sentiments—her lessons—were concepts I had listened to others say a hundred times before, I had never truly heard them until that moment. My heart broke wide open for her, and for me. It was downright painful to see the glimmers of regret in her eyes, and then to realize that I too had wasted time … that I too had let so much good, common sense advice go in one ear and out the next.
For a decade now, I’ve lived with my late friend’s words echoing in the back of my mind. I’ve let them guide me through thick and thin. And I’ve also committed myself to hearing more good, hard advice, and living by it. The list below is a highlight of that advice—some hard things I remind myself of often … some hard things we all need to hear sometimes.
52 TEXT MESSAGE LOVE BOMBS TO SEND HIM
Here are 52 text messages you can send your husband to show that you need and love him.
My hubby and I celebrated our three years of marriage this past October. Although we’ve had our ups and downs I do know this to be true: Men need and want to be loved.
Not only that, but they need to be reminded.
Marriage is like a box that you deposit little love bombs into. When you are always doing this, always depositing, your hubby will feel it. He needs to also do his part by adding his deposit of love into this box.
5 PIECES OF GARBAGE YOU SHOULD THROW OUT OF YOUR LIFE
We all have something that is smearing our view of life. Here are 5 pieces of garbage you need to stop hoarding.
It seems like everyone is in a race to be the best — the best parent, the best spouse, the best neighbor, the best PTA president. To become the best, people often lose sight of the things that really matter. Unfortunately, I’ve even seen this in my own life. As my husband worked toward a law degree, I pushed forward, day after day, trying my best to be a supportive wife — the best homemaker, the best mom, the best neighbor, etc. But I often found myself burned out and discouraged. At times, I just couldn’t do it.
This shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to become consumed by the need to be the best in every aspect of life, and neither should you. As I contemplated what I needed to change, I realized I was carrying garbage. I was holding on to habits and thoughts that were tearing me down. I needed to throw things out and never look back again.
8 TOXIC HABITS THAT ARE DESTROYING YOUR HAPPINESS
If you want to be happy, you need to quit these 8 habits most people are doing every day.
Believe it or not, you are sabotaging your own happiness every day. But you can change that. Here are 8 things destroying your happiness that you can eliminate from your life with a little effort.
- Mind reading
Thoughts like, “She must think I’m so stupid,” or, “They must be so bored right now,” enter most people’s heads throughout the day. These thoughts don’t necessarily represent truth but are made-up assumptions about what other people are thinking in their minds.
5 THINGS YOU CAN DO WHEN HOBBIES THREATEN TO OVERTAKE YOUR MARRIAGE
Aaron & April Jacob
Painting, fishing, bodybuilding, crocheting, gaming, shopping, skiing, and the list goes on. And on. And on.
Life offers us opportunities to learn and participate in so many wonderful activities and interests (alone or with others) that can fill our days with meaningful, happy, and interesting experiences.
However, it is all too easy to become passionate (or obsessed) with one hobby, all at the expense of other more important priorities in our lives.
So, what do you do when your spouse cares more about their hobby than they do about you?