7 BAD HABITS THAT HOLD GOOD PEOPLE BACK
A change in bad habits leads to a good change in life…
Here are seven bad habits many of us repeatedly struggle with:
1. Mulling over past hardships. – You’ll never see the great things ahead of you if you keep looking at the bad things behind you. You are exactly where you need to be to reach your goals. Everything you’ve been through was preparation for where you are right now and where you can be tomorrow.
2. Holding on to things you need to let go of. – Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things in life that should not be. Sometimes letting go is what makes us stronger, happier and more successful in the long run.
THE JOURNEY IS SO SHORT!
A young lady sat in public transport. An elderly grumpy lady came and sat by her as she bumped into her with her numerous bags. The other neighbor got upset, asking the young lady why she did not protest and insist on her rights. She responded with a smile: “It is not necessary to be rude or argue over something so insignificant! I’ll alight at the next stop; our journey together is so short,” replied the young lady.
Here’s a response which deserves to be written in GOLDEN letters in our daily behaviours and everywhere:
“It is not necessary to argue over something so insignificant. Our journey together is so short!”
TRANSFORMING CRITICISM INTO WISHES: A RECIPE FOR SUCCESSFUL CONFLICT
In the heat of an argument, it’s far easier to say what we don’t want than what we do. Stan Tatkin, the founder of the psychobiological approach to couple therapy, proposes that people are better built for war than love. Sometimes it seems that way.
We say, “Stop being so sad,” instead of, “I wish you would tell me what’s making you sad.”
Or, “You’re always neglecting me!” instead of, “I feel really lonely and need your attention.”
Criticism is Destructive
The problem with expressing needs in a negative way is it comes off like criticism. Despite what some people say, there is no such thing as constructive criticism. Criticism triggers a person to become defensive and protect themselves from an attack, which blocks the resolution of a conflict.
COCKROACH THEORY FOR SELF DEVELOPMENT
(a beautiful speech by Sundar Pichai, an IIT-MIT alumnus)
At a restaurant a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear.
With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away… but it landed on another lady in the group.
8 WARNING SIGNS SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS A HIGHLY FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC
Picture an alcoholic. What comes to mind? Someone who can’t hold on to a job, someone who alienates everyone in their life, or maybe someone who’s lost it all, sitting somewhere on a curb drinking out of a brown paper bag?
Forget what you think you know about alcoholism. It’s a complex disease that affects everyone a little bit differently. You can have a great job and still be an alcoholic. You can hold your life together and still be an alcoholic. Here’s what to watch out for:
1. They don’t think they have a problem.
Often times, because there are such seriously negative stereotypes surrounding people who are alcoholics, functional alcoholics don’t believe they have a problem. They hold their lives together and do great at work. “So what if I have a few beers after work?” The truth is, functional alcoholism is still alcoholism.
2 WAYS TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE THINKS OF YOU
“What’s wrong with wanting others to like you?”
That’s what several of our course students asked me via email in response to one of our recent course discussions. And I’ve been asked similar questions over the years too. So today, I want to discuss why it’s not healthy to spend lots of time worrying about what everyone thinks of you, and how to stop yourself from doing so.
In a nutshell, tying your self-worth to everyone else’s opinions gives you a flawed sense of reality. But before we look at how to fix this, first we need to understand why we do it…
THE 5 TYPES OF COUPLES
Drawing from over four decades of research data, Dr. John Gottman has been able to categorize couples into five types: Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, Volatile, Hostile, and Hostile-Detached. In his new book Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, Dr. Gottman uses love equations to explain his findings. The three happy couple types (Conflict-Avoiding, Validating, and Volatile) come from Harold Raush’s landmark book Communication, Conflict, and Marriage, in which Raush analyzes interactions between partners to discriminate happily from unhappily married couples. Each type is very different from the others, and each type of couple has its benefits and risks. Of the two unhappy couple types Dr. Gottman identified in his lab, Hostile couples stayed unhappily married, while Hostile-Detached couples eventually divorced. Do you know what type you are?
10 WAYS TO REKINDLE THE PASSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kids’ activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage.
Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.”
When Kendra drops this bombshell, Jason responds, “I thought we were doing okay, I really did. Even though we don’t have sex much anymore, it just seems like a phase we’re going through. I don’t have any energy left by the time I hit the bed at night.”