Agape Love in a Losing Battle with Terminal Cancer

AGAPE LOVE IN A LOSING BATTLE WITH TERMINAL CANCER

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How We Met:

I met Melissa during my pre-natal clinics. She was the most beautiful blue-eyed blonde l had ever known. Her personality lit up a room as soon as she walked in. I picked up on her southern accent pretty quickly, which was unusual because most people pick up on mine first.

We had depths of interesting topics to discuss which made 30 minutes go too fast. Her name was called out first so we hurriedly exchanged numbers. My turn came and l went in and out but no sight of Melissa.

She reached out a few days later and we set up a lunch date. We had such a strong bond, she was like a twin sister from a different mother. We giggled the whole time because she had a great sense of humor.

Unbreakable Bond:

That was the beginning of a lifetime friendship between a southern blonde and a Kenyan country girl. Our bond became so strong that we made plans to tour the world. Melissa wanted to start with Kenya. Due to earlier travel commitments to my other friend Tanisha, I introduced them, and it went very well.

Tanisha was a beautiful sun-kissed lady with a pure heart, and she was very energetic too. All the positive vibrations needed in the world was present in those two beauties. However, there was a problem, something out of my control.

The Losing Battle:

They both battled cancer. Although they were on continuous treatment, the cancer had spread too rapidly to other organs. I had met Tanisha about 10 years earlier and had witnessed her struggles.  She had almost given up and would often turn down treatment.

Melissa managed to persuade her back on treatment several times. They gave each other a reason to fight for another day. They were both wives and young mothers in their 30’s, except that one was black and the other white.

It wasn’t long before Tanisha gave up the fight. I remember she held her mum and Melissa’s mum’s hands, gazed outside the window and made them promise to keep their families close. A few hours later, she took one last deep breath and left us.

Melissa on the other side fought with hopes of surviving. She knew she was terminally ill but believed in miracles. Unfortunately, few years later her cancer spread to her brain. She’s not with us anymore.

She departed the same way Tanisha did, all three families were present except no one was crying. We were laughing at her silly jokes about dining with Tanisha that evening. She told us that she wanted to take a nap and that was the last we saw her beautiful blue eyes.

Left Behind:

So close yet so far! I don’t have my friends around anymore. I can’t feel their heartbeats or hear their giggles except on the videos we recorded. The love and kindness they shared made a lasting impact on all who knew them.

Through their eyes l saw beyond cancer and color. I saw oneness, genuine love and humanity. Sadly the good in the world is often tossed behind the scenes. The negative people clattered with hatred get the most attention and exposure.

All the same, there are a lot of good people who don’t jump on the hate wagon. These are the people who truly care for the generation behind them. It breaks my heart to see how ignorant we can choose to be. We are all human beings. We all need each other in this walk.

My Plea to All:

If anything went terribly wrong with the earth, everyone will be equally affected. We are all born empty and will leave this world the same. It doesn’t matter how one is buried or cremated. To keep my friends’ wish alive, l made the decision to love everyone the same regardless of the changes and hate in this world.

Why waste our energy hating each other and teaching our children to do the same? The worst anyone can do to someone they hate is kill them, right? Then what? The soul cannot be touched and the afterlife fact awaits the murderer whose life isn’t permanent either.

I honestly pray that the good people out there will continue to show love without boundaries. There’s a lot of good going on every day which will always outweigh bad. Melissa and Tanisha are resting in peace now, and the impact they made will live on.

I might never understand why they both had to go too soon, but one thing l know for sure is that they gave me the courage to just be me, to live my life without noticing skin color. That doesn’t mean others will not notice mine; we are all entitled to our feelings and opinions.

I share these thoughts from the bottom of my heart, with the intention of letting anyone else who feels the same way I feel know that they are not alone. Little is much, anything you do for love makes a huge difference.

My plea for people to get along as human beings may not change the whole world. Nonetheless, it sure did change three families from completely different backgrounds. Shine on Tanisha and Melissa, you will be forever missed and loved. Your voices are still alive.

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

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