ADVICE FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCCE

The piece below may be useful for all wives. It’s a must-read.

A WOMAN WROTE:

I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it’s good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.

I am 32 years old. My ex hubby and I dated for six years. We were best of friends. I waited until he completed college and started work. My family and his then met. We got married and had a son who is seven years old now.

My husband was short-tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he couldn’t control me.

Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my parents and siblings to explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he was controlling me I would always dare him that if he wished, he could divorce me. I never wanted divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look like am a losing woman in his eyes.

One day, I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside. I went to my relations to report him, my parents locked him up in the police station. Every time I looked like I was being abused! But to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally. He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case. I felt that what I was doing was wrong.

My husband was never a violent man. He did what he did because I pushed him to the wall openly. I withdrew the charge, and we reconciled. After three months, I packed my bags after a small quarrel, and he remained alone.

After two days I received a call that he was in the hospital. My family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it would look like I was begging him, and my sisters believed he was feigning the illness. All this time, people felt sorry for me like I was the one being abused.

He spent a week in the hospital. After he came out, I just received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me. I called and told him, I loved the divorce because I feigned living with him was hell.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise he openly told the court that whatever he and I acquired together should be given to me and that all he wanted was divorce.

We were divorced in July, 2009.

Today my husband has remarried whilst l am here – wasted! My family members are gossiping about me. I depend on what my ex-husband gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my marriage.

I am here telling all wives that they should be careful how they get advice.
Don’t be deceived. Don’t entertain family interference in your marriage. Even my young sisters are much more respected than me. Those who encouraged me to get divorce are now teasing and bad-mouthing me.

Please ladies, be vigilant in your marriage. I thought it wise to share my story to save your own marriage. There is no benefit in pride – absolutely none.

SOMETIMES IT’S NOT THE MAN’S FAULT AT ALL. IT’S YOUR PRIDE, AND THE PEOPLE YOU ALLOW TO ADVISE YOU.

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