By 
A HUSBAND, A WIFE, A COLD BED AND WHATSAPP
Olanrewaju Tunmise
“You look beautiful,” he texted his wife on WhatsApp.
He was in the living room with the children. The wife was in the kitchen washing the dishes.
“I have no time for small talk,” she texted him in anger, then continued washing the dishes.
“I thought you like compliments my love?” He typed back, then continued looking at the children.
“If that was a genuine compliment, you would have told me in the morning, not when the day is ending,” she typed back, placing the washed plate in the rack. “Why do you only call me my love when you know you have done wrong?” she typed further.
He pretended to laugh at a joke his son had made, then he typed, “My love, stop being difficult. I am sorry I came home late. My friends kept me for long. I didn’t mean not to show up at school.”
“Your son really wanted you to be there as he was acting on stage. The whole school loved it but you were missing,” she typed and continued scrubbing the pan.
“When is he acting again?” he typed.
“Ask him,” she typed in a rush.
“I don’t want to bring up that topic. He seems happy. I have already told him I will buy him a PlayStation,” he explained. He then sent her another text with a smile emoji.
“Money doesn’t fix things. I am off to sleep,” she typed in anger, walked up the stairs, entered the bedroom and closed the door.
“You are really mad. No goodnight kiss?” he typed.
She didn’t reply.
“What did you mean by that?” he typed.
“What?” she replied.
“Money doesn’t fix things,” he clarified.
“Instead of changing or addressing problems, you throw money at them. You don’t apologize, you don’t make effort to change, you don’t talk about things. You buy gifts and give out money to me and the children and expect us to get excited and forget. We need your leadership, your presence, your love, not money and gifts,” she replied.
“You know one of the many reasons why I love you?” he typed.
“Why?” she asked.
“You tell me the truth no matter how tough it is to swallow. You correct me. You are real. You are the only woman who can stand up to me. You are right.”
“This is the part where you say ‘I am sorry’,” she typed.
“I AM SORRY,” he replied.
“You can be so stubborn sometimes,” she typed.
“I need you,” he replied.
“Of course, you do. I straighten you,” she typed.
“Where would I be without you? Dinner was really good. You cook very well,” he replied. He was still downstairs in the living room.
“Thank you,” she typed.
She received an audio sent to her on WhatsApp. It was the song “All that I am is a man in love with you” by Joe. Her husband had sent the song.
“Dedicated to you my love,” he typed.
She listened to the song and sent him an audio on WhatsApp. She sent him the song “You’re still the one I love” by Shania Twain. “Thank you my love,” she texted.
“You’re still the one,” he replied.
“The kids have gone to bed. Am I still welcome in the bedroom? It’s cold downstairs,” he typed.
“No” she replied.
“?” typed he.
“Why are you asking for permission to come to your own bedroom? Don’t be silly,” she replied.
“As I said, you are the only woman who can stand up to me. Besides, you scare me when you are mad. The look on your face ma ma mia…,” he typed.
“He he he… Look at you making me laugh by myself. I am supposed to be mad at you!” she replied.
“You are the only woman I’d rather have an argument with. We soon resolve things. We make a great couple. I will stop throwing money at problems. I am sorry,” he apologized.
“It’s getting cold here. I need your warmth,” she replied.
“You know the woman sets the mood of the bedroom. If she is not in a good mood the bedroom gets cold. Thank you for forgiving me,” he typed.
“You talk too much. Come to bed and show me how sorry you are by making sweet love to me. My breasts are in need of your touch, a river is forming between my legs,” she replied.
“How are your nipples?” he typed.
“Come and see for yourself,” she replied.
He turned off the lights downstairs and literally ran to the bedroom. Closing the bedroom door behind him, he said, “Hello, my tasty nipples!”
