Your husband is a pretty simple creature, right? He has a few basic needs, that if met, produce a pretty happy guy. And that is why you really shouldn’t slack off on these basic needs, ladies. You may feel like some of them aren’t your job, or are things you don’t necessarily care for, but these five things are vital to your husband’s happiness, emotional satisfaction, ability to feel loved and level of attachment he feels to you.
You are doing better than you think at meeting your husband’s needs. However, you can do even better. With a simple realization that these five things are what your husband needs in a marriage relationship, you will be better able to serve him and nurture your marriage in the process. See, these are things that can’t fall by the wayside without hurting your marriage. Things that good man you married desperately needs from you. Don’t brush these things off – work at them! You can become more interested in baseball, you can put on a little make-up when you go out, and you can tell him daily how grateful you are for all he does to take care of you and your own.
The following five needs are taken from Willard F. Harley, Jr.’s book, “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage.” We hope these ideas help you nurture your relationship with your husband this week.
MEN’S 5 MOST BASIC NEEDS – AND HOW TO MEET THEM:
- SEXUAL FULFILLMENT
When was the last time you initiated things in the love-making department? Well, this week is your chance. It seems so cliche that your husband’s top need is sexual fulfillment, but it just is. So get over it. And embrace it – because you are the sexual fulfillment he wants and needs. So, how can you step it up a little? Flirt with your husband a little over dinner. Small things. You take the lead, and he will be thrilled.
- RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP
So your husband loves to hunt, or read sci-fi, or watch boxing, or snorkel, or do any number of things that don’t interest you at all. It’s perfectly alright for him to spend time on his hobbies and interests, or even to do them with guy friends, but your marriage is going to be in a better place if you put in a little effort to be interested in what he is interested in. You never know what new hobbies and interests you may fall in love with!
I’ll never forget a wise elderly woman I met during our summer in San Diego. She gave me some of the best marriage advice ever – she said, “Love what your husband loves. I got into fixing cars and golfing so I could spend more time with my husband, and it was the best choice ever.”
I’m not suggesting giving up your hobbies and interests, but I am suggesting that you choose to be selfless and stay up-to-date on his favorite sport’s teams so you can talk about them over dinner. It seems so simple, and maybe a bit fake at first, but with time it will be natural for him to talk with you about all the things he loves, and he will feel and know that you care. These are the things that help your husband feel loved and secure.
- AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE
Don’t bite my head off here, okay? But women, your husband married you (in part) because he was attracted to you.
Shower. Shave. Smell nice. Put on make-up if that is your thing. Do your hair. Work-out. Eat healthy.
You don’t have to look amazing every moment of the day, but make an effort.
I can already hear your excuses for why you shouldn’t do a number of these things, or why he should love you just the way you are, but I’m telling you – this is a need your husband has that you can meet. It just takes effort.
Get ready for him.
Do small things to be attractive to your hubby. Just think – you get ready for appointments or girls’ nights out, but then never get ready when you are just going to spend an evening at home together.
The one person you should care most about looking good for is your spouse.
That being said, isn’t it awesome that our spouse can see us first thing in the morning, or sick with the flu, and still love us just the way we are? Balance, my friends, balance.
4. DOMESTIC SUPPORT
I know this isn’t the 1950’s, but no matter what you may say, women are natural homemakers. It’s one of your gifts. You care more about how your home looks and feels than your husband does. You notice if the dishes aren’t done. Your husband doesn’t.
Your husband can and should share the workload at home, but you can serve him and meet one of his deep needs by fulfilling the role of homemaker to the best of your ability.
It may seem silly, and maybe it stems from how he felt love from his mom, but men love a good home-cooked meal and a place to relax and enjoy life. Make him a nice dinner from time to time.
Make your home a place where you both want to be.
Your man craves admiration. And recognition. And approval. And appreciation. So, give it to him – all the time. He needs to know you care. That you see all that he does to try to provide for and take care of you. He needs to know he is an amazing husband. He needs to have you recognize all the small things he does for you.
Here are a few ways you could let him know how much you admire him this week.
Say something like this in front of his friends, “I love watching [insert husband’s name here] with children. He is so so so good with our kids, and with any kids. Seriously, kids are obsessed with him. I always wanted a man who was good with kids and I scored big-time in that arena.”
Leave him a note on the seat of his car that says, “Thanks for being my man.”
Every night express appreciation for his hard work by saying something like, “Thanks for all the long hours you have been putting in. I appreciate you.”
Or you could simply wrap your arms around him and tell him he is amazing and that you love everything about him.
So there you have it, five simple ways to make your husband feel like a million bucks and have his heart tied to you and no one else.
These are simple acts that happy marriages are made of, because serving your spouse and focusing on meeting their needs is probably the very BEST way to nurture your marriage.
Men, we want to hear from you. What else do you need from your wives? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below!