There are real problems that people experience in marriage. And some of them can be incredibly challenging—mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually. There are things that seem difficult or even impossible to get through. There are things I wouldn’t wish on any couple. But those who work through them work hard and work together and both become so much stronger because of it.
And there are the everyday problems that we all experience. Those can be difficult too, though they become minor bumps in the road as we each figure out how to work with our spouses when things don’t go as planned. Because, let’s be completely honest, the whole things-going-as-planned scenario is in reality a rarity.
But then there are the problems we actually secretly enjoy.
There are the moments that aren’t quite as life-altering and earth-shattering as the more difficult or serious matters. These “difficulties” can actually be really good problems to have and ones that we hope to have more than once. They range from the every-so-often to the everyday and from cute and flirty to embarrassingly funny. Here are some “problems” I hope you experience in your marriage as often as possible.
1. Your shoulder smells so much like your spouse after cuddling that you never want to shower again.
2. You and your spouse both love the same desserts way too much.
3. You get a text from your spouse at work and you LOL—literally.
4. You’re the one distracting your spouse while they’re at work, but you don’t want to stop.
5. Getting out of bed is less a matter of how tired you are and more the problem of how comfortable the two of you were pre-alarm clock. (Especially if it’s cold outside the covers!)
6. You and your spouse have some hilarious jokes…that you can probably never share with your friends.
7. Burping and other unattractive noises have become commonplace because you’ve become so comfortable with each other. You have to remind yourself not to let out that incredible belch in public or even just in front of your sweet and impressionable toddler.
8. When you really get laughing, it’s way too hard to stop. Giggle fits can last for hours if the two of you keep thinking of something funny to set each other off.
9. You both want to do something nice and bring home a surprise take-out dinner—on the same night. (Do I smell leftovers for tomorrow?)
10. Christmas and birthdays are hard; you want to get every single item on your spouse’s wish list, even the ones they haven’t told you about but you know that they really, really want. How do you pick just one? Or even just a few?
11. You get so twitter-pated looking at your spouse at a stoplight that you don’t realize it is now a green light.
12. Your phone keeps running out of memory, data, storage, etc. Was it the flirty texts, the I-want-to-remember- this photos, or both?
13. When your spouse is gone for any unusual amount of time, you can’t focus on anything but missing them.
14. You always want to take two of all the snacks, treats, and other goodies people offer to you so that you can give one to your spouse later because you know they’d love it too.
15. You find yourself interested in way more things than you were before, and you don’t have enough time to do everything that you want to do together. There are just too many good things to choose from.
16. You have a constant battle: Do you really need to go to the bathroom? Or can you just go back to sleep so you don’t wake up your spouse by getting out of bed?
17. Your hands are tired but your back feels wonderful because you’ve just exchanged massages—again. Now to find the motivation to get up out of that puddle you’ve just melted into.
18. Your spouse had one of those extra thoughtful moments and did the dishes before you could even get up from the dinner table.
19. Your Facebook and other social media posts have undergone drastic changes. All of your friends now see posts mostly about how amazing your spouse is, how sweet they were to do this thing, how you’re having so much fun together at this new place, and so on.
20. Listening to breakup songs can be weird. Even your favorites don’t have the same soul to them anymore. But your love songs playlist is so long that it would take at least a day to listen to every individual song once.
21. Actual problems don’t seem quite as intimidating anymore. You have worked with your spouse so much that you look at those mountainous problems ahead and say, “All right you molehill. Prepare to be conquered.” You feel invincible with your spouse at your side.
So, to all those dealing with one, two, or all of these problems in their marriage, I salute you. And I hope that this problematic version of bliss just continues forever for you. Enjoy the little moments that make marriage quirky and keep you on your toes!