key to success is commitment plus action. The first enemy of change is EXCUSES
that bombard your mind and tell you—“You can’t!” You can have great ideas
of what you want to do, but if excuses keep you from acting, nothing much will
change. There are innumerable excuses why you can’t do something and only one
really great reason why you can. You can do one important thing to change today
because God said you can. Philippians 4:13 says, I can do everything through
Christ, who gives me strength.”
DISCOURAGEMENT tries to creep in as you seek to change.
An effective, successful person needs to understand that resistance to doing
the right thing is normal and to be expected. You can be intentional in your
family, your work, or your church even if the people around you or your
circumstances don’t change. Become a different person yourself, and as you
grow, everything around you will appear to change too.
enemy, ANXIETY, is always produced by looking backward or
forward. One of my professors in grad school put it this way, “The further we
move either back in time or ahead in time from this very moment, the more
anxious and out of control we feel.” The past is over, and only God knows what
is going to happen tomorrow—and you have no control over that either. So, you
must live for today, intentionally doing the one small thing that will take you
another step closer to your goal.
events in your life produce the enemy of DISRUPTIONS. Whether it’s
illness, an accident or a child’s bad decision—disruptions are going to happen
in your life. You have more power than you think. Focus on the things you can
control—your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. When you are faced with the
enemy of disruptions, hold yourself accountable by simply picking yourself up
again and getting back on track to pursue that next right ONE THING.
WAITING is the last enemy of change that I want to mention.
Waiting drives me crazy! Trying to rush into success is like trying to rush
into love—you may think you are there before you really are. Hard work is the
price you must pay for success. If you’re willing to pay the price, the hard
work will pay off. It just often takes time.
Bergson, a Nineteenth century French philosopher said, “To exist is to change, to
change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Refuse
to allow the enemies of change to steal your dream. Instead, you can press
through and win by doing the next right ONE THING.
Intentional ONE THING Challenge
you could do ONE THING and know that it would make a significant, lasting,
possibly life-changing difference in your life, would you do it? Dr. Carlson
shares the power of ONE THING and why you should get
started doing your ONE THING today.
enemy of change do you struggle with the most? We’d love to hear your stories.
Post your comments below.
IS FLIRTING CHEATING WHEN YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
Is flirting cheating when you’re in love with someone? Here’s
something you really need to know and understand before jumping to conclusions.
Do you flirt with an attractive friend when your partner isn’t
Or a better way to put the same question is, do you enjoy having
a happy conversation with an attractive friend or coworker?
Most people press the panic button when it comes to flirting.
And almost always, that’s because they don’t understand what
flirting really is all about.
What is flirting?
Flirting is a simple idea. It’s a conversation where you attract
the other person using your charm and your conversational skills.
If you attract someone while talking to them, you’re already
flirting with them. Of course, sometimes, that could happen unintentionally
If you flirt with someone, it doesn’t have to mean that you’re
interested in sleeping with them. You’re just having an interesting
conversation that makes you realize just how attractive you really are.
Even when you decide to go out with your own partner, you dress
up and wear something that may show a bit of skin. But your partner already
knows how you look naked. So why are you revealing your assets to other guys?
It’s because you like looking good, don’t you?
And that’s exactly what flirting does on the inside. It makes
you realize your own sexuality.
Read this before flirting with someone else!
Just so you know, flirting outside the relationship may not work
for everyone. It never works if you’re dating an insecure partner who feels
threatened whenever you’re around someone your partner perceives as more attractive.
If your partner has low self esteem, they would definitely hate
you if you flirt with another person or if they even hear that you flirted with
So before you go flirting with everyone else, keep your
partner’s insecurity and jealousy in mind.
Why does flirting feel so good?
Before we even get to chatting about whether flirting is
cheating, let’s get to why flirting feels so good. Here are 4 good reasons.
#1 It helps keep your sexuality alive and makes you feel
better about your own attractiveness.
#2 You become a better flirt, which makes you a better tease
and a better conversationalist.
#3 It makes you feel more confident about yourself and your
#4 It doesn’t leave you frustrated or restricted by your
If you can flirt naturally, it shows that you have all the
charming traits in you already, and that makes you a really good catch.
The difference between harmless flirting, touchy flirting and
Is flirting cheating? Well, it depends on the kind of flirting
you have in mind. There are 3 types of flirting you could indulge in when
you’re talking to someone outside the relationship.
#1 Harmless flirting. This is the kind of flirting
where you use your gestures and your voice to have a happy conversation. You
tease and you laugh, and you have a great time. This is perfectly acceptable
even when you’re in a relationship. If your partner can’t handle it, it only
means they’re insecure or feel offended when you give anyone else your
#2 Touchy flirting. In this kind of flirting, you
do all of the above and yet, you take it one step further. You exercise your
hands and almost all the time, your hand’s resting on some part of your
friend’s body. You may place your hand causally, but it could definitely be
misinterpreted by everyone around.
#3 Talking dirty. When anyone talks about flirting,
every prudish mind thinks of this kind. Flirting is casual. Talking dirty
definitely isn’t. If you talk dirty, compliment the other person sexually or
try to get them to sleep with you, then that’s completely unacceptable when
you’re already in a relationship.
So if you do indulge in a bit of flirting with others when your
partner isn’t around, restrict it to the harmless kind. It’s safe and fun, and
no secure partner takes offence of it.
Flirting and the need to feel appreciated
All of us have the need to feel appreciated. And that’s why we
dress up, use makeup, workout or get a better job. Somewhere deep inside all of
us, we need reassurances from someone else to feel good about ourselves.
When you get into a relationship, you feel great about yourself
because you’ve found someone who truly loves you and finds you *exciting*. But
as time goes by and the sweet and sexy compliments start to become a routine,
it forces you to look for reassurances from outside the relationship.
If an attractive colleague compliments how good you look in a
new dress, you feel good about it even though you already know you’re wearing a
cute outfit, don’t you? That’s the power of reassurance.
And it’s the same feeling you get when you flirt with someone
else. It helps you realize how sexually attractive you still are, and that
makes you feel more confident and sexy.
Is flirting when you’re in a relationship really cheating?
All of us flirt naturally, whether we realize it or not. Many
lovers who don’t want their own partners to flirt with anyone else may just be
hypocrites. Of course, you may not like the thought very much. But put yourself
in your partner’s place. Wouldn’t you enjoy a conversation with an attractive
someone other than your own partner?
The more you suppress your flirting side, the more you’d feel
like you’ve lost your sexuality. And that would in turn affect your confidence
in bed. So is flirting cheating when it can make you a better lover?
Times when flirting can be a lot of fun
#1 Your partner isn’t around, and you’re in the middle of a
conversation with someone you admire or find attractive.
#2 If you’re talking to someone who won’t misinterpret your
conversation, and is flirting with you just to have a fun conversation.
#3 You’re feel unsexy and you really need to feel like you
still have the sexual charm in you.
Times when you should avoid flirting
#1 Your partner is insecure or you’re dating someone who’s
extremely jealous. *good luck with that relationship!*
#2 You’re talking to someone who will misinterpret your
conversation or assume that you’ve started falling for them even if you’re only
trying to have a fun conversation.
#3 Your partner’s friends are around, and they would want
nothing better than to exaggerate the situation and spread slutty stories about
you *because they’re probably jealous*.
#4 Your relationship is going through a rough patch and you
need to focus on building your relationship instead of sweet talking someone
Flirt, but never leave your partner in the dark
Flirting is healthy for a relationship, but both of you should
be aware of each other’s abilities to sweet talk someone else. You need to have
a great relationship with your partner, and both of you should have a lot of
trust and love in the relationship.
And most importantly, don’t set different rules for yourself and
your partner. If you’ve flirted with someone behind your lover’s back, you
partner has every right to do the same thing too.
After all, you’ve flirted now and then and you know it was
harmless, so why restrict your partner from having a pleasant and interesting
conversation when you’re not around?
And let’s face it, you have no choice anyways! All of us flirt
or brighten up when we meet someone attractive.
Love recklessly and flirt with caution
Would you hate yourself if you have a warm and pleasant
conversation with someone of the opposite sex? Would you hate receiving a
compliment from anyone other than your own partner? It would make you feel
better about yourself, wouldn’t it?
Flirting is a natural ability of humans, and it makes us feel
really good about ourselves. And as long as you know where to draw the line,
it’s all fine. Instead of restricting yourself or behaving like entering a
relationship means banning all happy interactions with the opposite sex, learn
to accept that even if you or your partner indulges in a bit of harmless
flirting now and then, it doesn’t mean either of you love the other person any
If you love your partner, it’s within your moral control to hold
yourself back from going any further or cheating on them. Restrictions from
outside won’t change anything. So if you must flirt to feel good about
yourself, go right ahead, but always remember to give your partner the first
preference and always avoid making them feel insecure or neglected.So is flirting cheating? Well, it all depends on the way you look at it.
If it works for you and your relationship and makes you feel attractive, I’d
say go for it. But if you feel like it affects your relationship negatively,
then hold your reins back and do something else to feel good about yourself.