THE POWER OF WORDS CAN MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Ever wondered how some couples fight, but are still so much in love with each other? Here are 23 relationship argument dos and don’ts that can help you.
Arguments in a relationship are inevitable for most couples.
Of course, there are a few happy couples who rarely argue and understand each other completely.
But for the rest of the mere mortals, a petty fight in love over a confusion or a misunderstanding is pretty common.
Getting into an argument with your lover doesn’t make you a bad partner, nor does it mean that your relationship is less than perfect.
Arguments are never fun. And the awkward tension after the argument? That’s even worse! Use these 8 ways to clear the awkward silence quickly.
Don’t you hate that awkward tension after an argument? You know, the one that people don’t really talk about? You’re not even annoyed anymore, but there’s just this awkward silence and you can’t quite seem to snap back into normality.
You wonder whether your partner is still annoyed, or whether they too are hovering in limbo between arguing and normality. Neither partner wants to be the first to move, talk, or make eye contact. And neither partner’s true intentions are clear.
It can be pretty frustrating. The argument is over, so why is it so difficult to move on? In submitting ourselves to this strange state of post-argument awkwardness, we are extending the negativity, when we could be enjoying our relationships in the way that we should be!
Do you fight to open the lines of communication or do you fight to win? Here are things to remember the next time you have a showdown with your lover.
Animals do it, children do it, and married couples all over the world do it. They argue!
When rams fight, they buck their antlers against each other to determine who is the alpha male – and minus the antlers, humans are hardly different. For humans, fighting can be accomplished by yelling, talking, or pulling the silent treatment, and for long-term couples, these practices can be cathartic. But for new couples, or those who never imbibe in contending, arguing can be the most terrifying experience in a budding relationship.
We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
– Albert Einstein
She showed up at my front door before work at 7am this morning with the most troubled, despondent expression on her face (which is not typical of her disposition). “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said. “But I haven’t slept all night, and I really need to talk to someone. I just need some advice.”
I invited her in and poured her a cup of coffee. “So, what’s on your mind?” I asked.
“Last night my husband told me something about his college years that he never told me before,” she said in a shaky voice. “And I completely disagree with his actions. It’s horrible, really… and I just can’t stop thinking about it! I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive him.”
Found the perfect catch, and wondering if they’re the one? Read on to identify the signs of compatibility that point to future relationship bliss.
There comes a time in every diva or stud’s life when they must put down their tools of trade, put on their sensible heads, and think about giving up their flirtatious lifestyle in favor of a proper relationship. However, assessing a partner’s long-term suitability is far more difficult than assessing how many points they score on the eye candy scale.
What’s hot and what’s not
On a typical night out, especially when the vino’s been flowing and people aren’t acting their usual selves, it can be quite easy to end up falling for someone who seems like the perfect choice for a life partner. However, the next time you meet, with the situation back to normality, they may be completely different in character. In that case, it will either be apparent that there is no match there at all or, more confusingly, the match is there, but just not quite to the extent that you previously thought.
A lot of things change after people get married, but some things change more subtly than others. Here’s a list of the changes you might not notice.
Once you get married, you automatically assume that the things you’re used to will change in a significant way–that’s why you prepare and get all your ducks in a row. Whether it’s a spur-of-the-moment Vegas wedding or a year-long, prepped gala, the marriage part always seems to throw everyone for a loop.
The obvious changes include addressing each other as husband and wife, assigning responsibilities in the household, realizing that you can’t break up without a lawyer present, and having to actually share your money without a legitimate reason to resent the idea.
Why do things change after marriage?
Some people think that things don’t change at all when they get married. Surely it only happens when they decide to have kids, right? Not exactly. In fact, some think that everything changes after the vows have been said, and nothing’s the same ever again.
One of life’s many debates is whether young love can weather life’s fantastical ups and cruel downs. Can young lovers really mature together?
Sure, there are movies, articles, songs, books, and poems dedicated to young love, but what about real life? Tales of high school sweethearts growing old together mostly come from a time of long ago before corrupt values, modern technology, fast-paced lifestyles, and fickle mentalities descended upon us.
In today’s day and age where the more sexual partners you have, the cooler you are, and divorce rates have more than doubled, can young love really survive? These are very trying times and certainly a test of both your resolves.
How do you grow and mature together? How do you continuously support each other despite changing mindsets and goals? How do you align your hopes and dreams and work towards them together, without letting these very dreams tear you apart?
When you first met your partner, you were young, wild, and carefree. High school was a blur, and all you can remember about it are pep rallies, football games, and making out behind the bleachers. Met in college? It’s the same thing.
You were both young and without a care in the world. Now that you’re both grown up, realistic problems like paying the bills, getting a job, keeping your job, and all that other stuff put things into perspective.
How to mature together, even if your relationship started early
Are you worried that your young love will hold you back, or are you concerned that you will not let your partner grow and mature for fear of losing them? Thankfully, there’s an answer to everything, including how to age gracefully with your young love by your side. Here are 10 tips on how to make it happen.
#1 Learn from your mistakes. The thing about falling in love at a young age is that both of you have no idea what you’re doing. When you first got together, you probably didn’t realize that it would last as long as it did. That’s the downside to young love. You go in with no experience, and end up making all the mistakes that you can possibly make with this one person.
It’s like the blind leading the blind, but that’s actually where the fun lies. Because you’re both noobs at relationships, you can learn from your mistakes. Challenge yourselves to learn and grow from everything that you failed at. You’ll be old pros in no time.
#2 Make it a point to forgive. Learning from your mistakes brings me to my next point, and that is forgiveness. Do not underestimate the importance of letting things go, as they lend a hand in helping you reach maturity. Remember that your partner is just as inexperienced as you are, so don’t ever tire of busting out the forgiveness card. Forgiving makes it simpler to move on from one issue, and onward to the next.
#3 Be clear about what’s important. It may be hard for a couple of youngsters to decide just what they want to do for the rest of their lives, but there’s no harm in determining what makes you happy. Be clear with your partner on what’s important to you.
Do you want a family one day? Do you want to win a Nobel Peace Prize? Do you want to be the first woman on the moon? No matter what, make sure that you’re both very aware of each other’s goals because it will make it easier to align them with one another’s.
#4 Have your own friends. One of the toughest parts about being with your high school or college love is that you probably share the same group of friends. There’s nothing wrong with an overlap, but it’s very important for both of you to have your own social circle. Not only will mixing with new people give you the chance to expand your horizons, it will also give you the chance to see and do new things without your partner.
For example, instead of heading out for drinks at the same old bar with your partner and shared friends, you can head to an art gallery with your colleagues. No matter what, always remember that there’s nothing wrong with having your own group of friends that your partner doesn’t necessarily have to be close to.
#5 Travel together. Another brilliant way to grow and mature together is to go off on adventures. Travel together, and do it often, without hesitation. Life’s all about making memories, and who better to build some with than with your first love?
Take advantage of your youth, and opt out of exploring conventional locations. Steer clear of luxury resorts, and backpack instead. You’re sure to learn a thing or two about each other when you’re slumming it in the backstreets of Cambodia.
#6 Don’t let inexperience get in the way. Another way to grow and mature together is to never let your lack of relationship know-how become a point of contention. Don’t blame one another for the mistakes made, and for not knowing how to fix a relationship problem. Garner and apply advice taken from those who have more experience, and by working on your issues on your own, you’re sure to grow and mature together.
#7 The grass isn’t always greener. Always remember that the grass may not be greener on the other side. Just like any relationship, there will be times when you want to up and leave. You will probably wonder what it’s like being with someone else, and you may even regret sticking to just one person.
Sure, there’s a whole world of potential partners out there, but remember that something that bloomed out of innocence and uncomplicated love shouldn’t be thrown away. Fix it, and be sure to do a good job.
#8 Experiment sexually. One reason why young lovers call it quits early on is because they are curious about what lies beyond their world of the same old sexual escapades. There’s no harm in experimenting sexually with your partner. Use each other’s bodies as a canvas, and paint a picture of love and passion.
Figure out your likes and dislikes, and don’t be afraid to attempt new things. If both of you are comfortable with it, consider inviting a third party into your romps. You can also agree to an open relationship for a year or two to expand your sexual horizons. Be clear on the rules, and never hurt one another. Most of all, no matter what, never have an affair.
#9 Set small goals. This piece of advice applies to everyone, not just to young lovers who want to grow and mature in their relationship. There’s nothing wrong with looking at the end goal and striving to get there, but be sure not to lose your foothold when traipsing on life’s stepping stones.
Instead of working towards one big goal, break it up into little goals and accomplish each one as a couple. Practice makes perfect, and the more little goals you accomplish with your partner, the easier it will get further down the road.
#10 Value one another. Another tip to grow and mature together if you started your relationship young is to always remember how much you mean to each other. Don’t just value your partner, but also everything he or she holds dear.
From your lover’s hobbies to family members, appreciate all that they have and are willing to do for you. Recognize that no matter how smooth sailing life is, sacrifice was involved. You of all people know just what it took to get there, so cherish them always.
At the end of the day, so long as you appreciate, respect, and love your partner, it doesn’t matter if you started your relationship young. Growing into the person you were meant to be is not easy. It takes plenty of life lessons, failures, and struggles to get there, but with the right person by your side, anything is possible.
If you want a strong marriage, there comes a time to be honest about yourself.
Would you like to revolutionize your marriage? Then try starting with a little repentance. It’s amazing how much healing can occur between a husband and a wife when 10 little words are said: “I am so sorry for what I did. I repent!”
As we grow as believers in Jesus Christ and become surrounded by more and more Christians, it’s easy to put on a façade. Often we aren’t willing to admit where we are spiritually because we’ve become skilled at hiding our weaknesses.
Everyone dreams of living happily ever after, but how do you do that? Here are the top questions to ask before you go walking down the aisle.
No one took a class in school called “Marriage 101.” But wouldn’t that have been great? I mean, how often do you use the knowledge of Algebra or Physics in your daily life, assuming you aren’t a math teacher or a physicist? Yeah, exactly.
But most people get married. And we have no good game plan to make it work. All we have to go by are how our parents managed their marriage. And for most people, it’s not really a good role model.
And here’s another thing – most people get so focused on the wedding day itself, making sure every detail is perfect, that they don’t give any thought to the actual marriage itself. That’s where the real focus should be. How do we happily stay together for the next 50+ years? Well, I’m here to help.